A Girl and Her Caterpillar

Why, you might ask, is this pink toy microwave sitting askew on my lawn?

I’ll tell you why.

There was a worm inside of it.

Okay, maybe it wasn’t a worm.

Maybe it was a caterpillar. Still. Ew. And I’m sorry, I don’t trust things that don't have feet that I can clearly see.

But let me back up.

After I put Natalie to bed I noticed the microwave sitting on the patio and I assumed she forgot to bring it in. It had been raining and I didn’t want it getting ruined because I could only imagine the drama that would bring if it no longer worked.

“MY MICROWAVVVEEE!” I pictured Natalie wailing. “What happened to my MICROWAVEEEE!!? It’s not BEEPING ANYMORE!”

The microwave door was opened a bit and when I went to pick it up, that’s when I saw the black beady eyes of the caterpillar.

I did what any other self respecting adult would do in that situation: I tossed the microwave in the air and screamed like Macaulay Culkin.

When I realized nothing was attacking me and that I was being ridiculous over a caterpillar, I stopped. I was slightly offended that no one around me checked to make sure I wasn’t being attacked but then again, lots of noise comes from my house so everyone probably thinks, “It’s just Amber being her kooky self again. The woman runs into her home to get her children to smile for pictures for craps sake!”

There are no pictures of the caterpillar as it was tossed somewhere in the yard when I tossed the microwave.

I did not break the microwave since it landed in the grass, thank goodness.

However…the next morning Natalie rushed out back and was like, “Where’s Princess?” and I was like, “Is that what you named the wagon out there?” because she takes after me and likes to name inanimate objects and she said, “No. My caterpillar. I put her out here in her HOME.”

And that’s when it dawned on me that its home was the pink microwave.

I told Natalie that Princess had turned into a butterfly and flown away and that she wanted me to tell her thank you for her hospitality. I did not tell her that Princess probably died due to a brain trauma from being thrown across a yard. I did tell her that keeping insects in the microwave was not nice, as they needed to eat and, you know, breathe.

Will she listen to me? I’m not sure. But in the future if I see a toy with a door/trap/closure outside, I’ll head over to it with caution.

And yes I’m well aware that I’m a wimp.