My Dear Letters

Happy Friday!

I decided to do My Dear Letters….letters I wish I could send.



Dear Natalie,

Your birthday is Monday. You aren’t getting any presents today. Sorry. Not even if you stand on your head or tell me a joke. But thank you for offering. You get them all Monday.

Signed,
I-Have-A-Comedian-For-A-Daughter,
Amber

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Dear Tommy,

Holy crap, it’s not the end of the world if you don’t find all the golden eggs in Angry Birds. Chill.

Signed,
A-Tiny-Bit-Bummed-Because-I-Never-Even-Got-ONE-Golden-Egg,
Amber

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Dear Easter Candy,

Why must you be so good. I can’t stop eating the mini Cadbury Cream eggs and Peeps.

Signed,
It-Must-Be-The-Pastels-That-Excite-Me,
Amber

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Dear St. Patrick’s Day,

Sorry, I’m not doing anything special for you. I might wear green. But I don’t make green food or make Irish dinners. Instead we’re going out for hibachi and enjoying a cook prepare our food in front of us.

Signed,
A-Really-Doesn’t-Like-Corned-Beef-Anyway,
Amber


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Dear Tom,

You’re turning 30 this year. What do you want? Help a gal out. Don’t just shrug and say, “Birthdays are no big deal to me.” HELP A GAL OUT!

Signed,
If-He-Won’t-Say-He’s-Getting-Tons-Of-Angry-Bird Stuff,
Amber

PS—Is Megan Fox for rent? Not for the nasty but to just show up at his work, hang out for a bit, and then leave?


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Dear Hawaii,

I can’t believe we’ll be there on the 26th. I am so stalking areas where Lost was filmed even though Tom is not impressed. He never liked the show. It looks like I’ll have to pretend to be ALL the characters myself then…(“Tom…look…this is the beach…okay, I’ll be Claire, you can be Charlie. Pretend to have peanut butter…where are you going? Why are you acting as though you don’t know me? Charlie? CHARLLIEEE!”)

Signed,
An-Also-Looking-Forward-To-Tropical-Drinks,
Amber

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Dear People Who Have Self-Published,

Is it easy to self-publish to a device like a Kindle so others can read? I’m tempted to do that. A couple of people mentioned it awhile back and I’m curious.

Signed,
Still-Hoping-For-An-Agent-But-Will-Try-This,
Amber

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Dear American Reunion movie, (an American Pie movie..)

I hope you are entertaining. Tom and I are going to see you since his mom will be here. Please be as good as the first three and not as awful as the made-for-DVD versions.

Signed,
Hopes-Stifler-Is-Still-Hilarious, (BANKOK!)
Amber