What I Did This Week

Since Tom is leaving, I decided that I’d be nice to him.

I mean, okay, I’m not MEAN to him. But my patience can wear thin and I find myself snapping at him if I find his empty wrappers around the house. Especially when the trash can is RIGHT THERE.

These are the things where I swallowed back my annoyance:


Finding his trash around the house (ie, soda cans, wrappers...)

What I’d normally do: Ask if he thought our home was a giant trash can and was it so hard for him to remember to throw his stuff away.

What I did this week: “I’ll get it, sweetie, don’t worry about it.”


When he wants to ‘do it’ constantly

What I’d normally do: “Again? Didn’t we just do this last night? You do know that squeezing my boob isn’t really a turn on, right? I’m not a piece of dough.”

What I did this week: Bow chika bow bowed whenever he wanted.


When he’d play his computer game for hours leaving me to tend to the kids

What I’d normally do: “Do you not hear the screaming going on? I’d love to just sit in front of the computer for hours, that must be nice. Here, take her.” And then I’d just plop Natalie on Tom’s lap and go upstairs and read.

What I did this week: Kept quiet. Came over, massaged his head and went, “Oh, looks like you’re doing well on your game!”


When he’d complain about what I made for dinner

What I’d normally do: “I’m not a short order cook, you should be grateful that I cook at all. If you complain one more time I’m going to cram this bread down your throat.”

What I did this week: “I’ll make whatever you want.”


When he’d constantly switch the TV to The Military Channel

What I’d normally do: “This again? Didn’t you watch this program like 5 times? Are you trying to memorize it?”

What I did this week: “What cool airplanes! I like the women they painted on the side of them! And the narrator’s voice isn’t monotone at all, he sounds like he’d be a friendly friendly guy.”


When he’d snore at night.

What I’d normally do: Kick him and shove him on his side while yelling, “People are trying to sleep for God’s sake.”

What I did this week: Um. Still shoved him on his side. I’m not a TOTAL saint and I need my sleep.