Why We Don't Do Elf On The Shelf. Part 2.

I thought about getting it. I really did. I even picked up the box and hovered it over my cart.

But then I thought about the eyes.

The creepy eyes.

And I put the box back.

I couldn’t do it.

Elf on the Shelf still freaked me out. Plus, let’s be honest. I wouldn’t remember to change the elf every night. Sometimes I barely remember to make the kid’s lunches. By the end of the evening the last thing I would want to do is position the creepy thing. Yes, there are sites dedicated to different ideas, and I’m sorry, a lot of those ideas look messy. Like pretending the elf made an angel in the flour? No. That’s something else I’d have to clean up.

Did I mention the eyes? (I wrote about the eyes last year when I was explained why we don't do Elf on the Shelf.)

I feel like they’re following me.

And personally, if I were a kid, I’m not sure I’d like a plastic thing reporting back to Santa if I did something wrong.

Look, I have this constant fear that I’m being watched. The webcam on our computer? I feel like someone is watching and reporting what’s going on. Tom thinks I’m ridiculous. But you never know! It’s a crazy world we live in.

This pillow basically sums up how I feel:

See? I’m not the only one who finds it creepy. I know some parents are like, “Oh, it’s adorable!” and I’m thinking, “Are we talking about the same thing?”

Maybe one year I’ll get brave and buy one. The kids would probably really enjoy it although Natalie would probably constantly beg me to let her take it to her room. She already sneaks her princess ornaments up there.

“They want to sleep in my bed!” she’ll insist. “They love me!”

Right now we’re NOT an Elf on the Shelf family.

And honestly, I’m fine with that.

(But if we were, I’d be tempted to do inappropriate things. Like have the elf surrounded by booze bottles. Or sleeping in my bra. So not kid friendly.)