Monday, December 3, 2012

Ugly Christmas Sweaters

I don't know about you....but I really and truly hate Christmas sweaters.  I have owned a few in my life...most of them gifts....but some I actually bought for myself and lived to regret it.  From the day after Thanksgiving until the big day itself there seems to be an explosioin of holiday sweaters.  It used to be only the elderly would be seen in them....but not anymore.  Now you can see any age sporting the atrocious sweaters.  AAARRRGGGHHHH!  I have to be honest and tell you that there's something about novelty clothes that just feels wrong to me. Rudolph, Santa, Frosty....they belong on wrapping paper....not on attire.  In the last couple of years I have noticed that men are joining in.  Last year I saw a guy with a Frosty vest one....I groaned out loud.  The ladies (and others) who wear these sweaters have made a conscious decision to face the world in a conversation piece. They have chosen to make a statement: "I love Christmas! Please love me. If you can't love me, at least talk what I am wearing.  I am wearing a great topic of discussion....don't you think?  Seriously, if you can look at this sweater and walk away without mentioning how cute it is...then you are just being an old Scrooge.  Well...ok....I am the old Scrooge.  My momma always taught me that if you can't say something nice....don't say something at all.  If you want me to discuss your Christmas sweater....it is not going to be pretty.  I dress up for Christmas....I wear green shirts, red shirts, and put on fanciful pins and necklaces....and to me that is more than enough. 
Someone gave me a Snowman vest one year and the little snowballs the snowman held in his hands hit the wrong part of my chest.  I ended up cutting them off.  I am wondering if there is anyone out there who possibly knows how the Christmas sweater trend started? I am thinking that the first one was something hand-knitted by someones little knitting grandmother in Middle America. After the recipient of the sweater wore theirs little knitting grandmother got requests from friends, and their friends, and the next thing you know she had branched out into one of those home businesses.  The worst offenders of all, to me personally, feature sequins, lights (for example, a light-up Rudolph nose) and three-dimensional decorations, such as miniature Christmas ornaments or the bow around that poor puppy's neck.   No matter the color, artwork, creativeness, or design....to me they are still pretty awful.  I don't like the fur, the sherpa, the low cut ones, the glitz ones, none of them.  I am not a Christmas sweater kind of girl.  If you are....then good for you.  Enjoy your sweater.....lavish in the gloriousness of the holiday.....but please don't expect me to get all excited over it.....because it is not going to happen.  I am skulking back to my Scroogie Christmas corner to growl about Christmas sweaters. 

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