Saturday, December 8, 2012

Things I Have Learned

I was reading some of the blogs I follow and found this post by Ree Drummond.  I love reading her posts and this one inspired me to follow suit.  Christmas always seems to make me pensive and make me recall people who have touched my life.  One of mine is my Little Grandmother.  She was my soul mate....and even though she told all of  us this....I know deep down in my heart that I truly was her very favorite! (We all felt this way about her....so I am not telling my family anything they don't already believe about themselves. )  I got most of the prompts off of Ree Drummond's blog and if you would like to read hers....click here.
I don't want anyone thinking I am claiming this as my own.....I am not.  The comments following the thoughts....now...those are my own.

1. "It’s not an unnatural thing to lose a grandmother."

Losing a grandmother is normal in the grand scheme of things.  No. 1 they are older than we are....and No 2.  It is just how it is supposed to happen.  Grandmothers are not supposed to bury their children....or grandchildren. That is what my grandmother used to tell me.
2. "The greater the love you felt from your grandmother, the more it hurts when she’s gone." 
I have to agree with this thought.  When my Little Grandmother died I thought I had died with her.  both my grandparents deaths sent me for a loop.  I loved them both dearly and even today miss them like mad.  I can hear their voices sometimes.
3. When I look at photos of loved ones who have gone on sometimes I can feel them staring back at me.
My grandparents used to could look right through me and always knew when I told a lie.  Even today when I look at their pictures I feel as if they are looking through me.

4. "The tears I’ve cried have been a combination of grief over losing her and missing her."
My grandmother made me feel as if I was the greatest thing on the face of the earth.  She had a ton of grandchildren, yet, she had the uncanny knack of making us all feel as if we were the favorite one.  I miss that emotion.  I miss the hugs, I miss her pride in me, I miss her....period.
5. "A grandmother is one of the most important roles in life."
I am a grandmother....but not one like my grandmother was.  My children (steps) prevent this from happening.  They have abused the grandmother role in the past and then when I left their father they shut me out.  I am only allowed to play grandmother when a gift is involved and that makes me sad.  My mother was a good grandmother (she did not work), my grandmother (was retired)....and I am a working grandmother...who is a pastors wife (2nd full time job). 

6. "Seeing a person you love before they die is a precious thing."
I saw both of my grandparents before they died and it made their memories are that much sweeter.  I saw both of my parents before they died and it gave me a peace of mind.  When my best friend died last year I saw her on Thursday, sang to her, and when I left I knew in my heart I would not see her again.  I would take nothing for those moments with her.  I am a firm believer that if there is a riff in your relationships....fix it.  You never know when a life might end and you will have to live regret for the rest of your life.
7. "Loss is such a universal experience."
Everyone goes through this at one time or another.  Some go through it at an early age and others are adults before losing someone very close to them.  Don't tell people, "I know how you feel" because you don't...and they really don't want to hear that....hold them....love them....cry with them....that is really all they need. 

8.  "Laughter through tears is the best emotion."
I am from the South and love the tradition when someone dies where the preacher gets together with the family and they swap stories....out of the story telling comes the eulogy.  I love to see families in the midst of the pain of losing someone laughing out loud over a story someone has told.  Laughter truly is the best emotion.

Grandmother and Pa....I love you both.  You were my grounding when I needed it.  You were love, friends, you rocked my world.  I miss you and cannot wait til we meet again.

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