Monday, December 3, 2012

I Own The iPhone5

We were going into Verizon to ask about our current phones. We have Droids. The Thunderbolt. Lately they had been dropping the 4G signal and it was getting very annoying. To the point where I wanted to hurl my phone against the wall. Tom was more diplomatic about it. “Just re-start it.” No! My phone should freaking get a signal otherwise, what else are we paying Verizon for?

We walked in and three people were like, “Welcome to Verizon!” Then one claimed us and pulled us over to his computer.

“What can I help you with?” he asked brightly.

“Our phones keep dropping the signal. I’ll be browsing the Internet—” I began.

“Facebook,” Tom cut in.

“The INTERNET,” I tried again. I didn’t want him to think I was one of those people who can’t go two seconds without checking Facebook. “And the signal keeps dropping.”

He figured it had to do with the Sim card. Since we have insurance on our phones—it costs extra, but is worth it, because if the phone breaks, they’ll replace it. Once Tom washed his phone. We didn’t have insurance. After that, we decided, yes, we are getting insurance.

The guy went to get new Sim cards for us and Tom was like, “Wait, I know what I can get you for our anniversary. You’ve been wanting the iPhone 5 and your phone is eligible for an upgrade.”

I shook my head. “I can wait. It’s the holidays. Things are going to get expensive and I don’t need the phone right now.”

“But I need a gift idea anyway. It’s perfect,” Tom argued.

“No, thank you.” But as I said it, my eyes flicked over to the iPhone 5 display. So pretty.

When the guy came back Tom went, “I’d like to get my wife the iPhone 5.”

“Really, I can wait,” I said again.
The guy looked from Tom, then to me, then back to Tom. I think we confused him. Or rather, I probably confused him. He’s probably used to women being like, “Buy me this phone!”

“I’m getting it for her,” Tom said firmly.

The guy hesitated for a second and then went, “What color? White or black?”

Tom stared at me expectantly.

I wasn’t getting out of this. Not that I really WANTED to. It was just expensive. $199 is a lot of money. $199 is probably like two cents to Bill Gates. Must be nice. Why couldn’t I have invented Windows? Or, you know, the iPhone.

“Black,” I gave in. “I stain things so white makes me nervous.”

“You know it won’t stain. It’s made of really good material and—” the guy said.

“I’ll stick to black.” I’d find a way to stain the white. I just know it.

“You’ll love the iPhone 5!” the guy said excitedly. Probably because he got a commission. Or something. Do they work on commission?

Here was the good news though: Verizon usually charges a $30 upgrade fee, which is RIDICULOUS, because here I am being a nice customer and signing another 2 year contract and you want me to pay a FEE? You should be paying ME. But it turns out they waived the fee. And I was able to sell Verizon my phone for $30. So that covered the amount of the case I got. I was going to shop on Amazon, since I figured it was cheaper. But Tom was all, “Please get one now. You drop things.”

“You’ll save 25%!” the guy said.

So I picked one out.

Then the guy fixed up my phone for me, transferred my contacts, and handed it over.

It was beautiful. And light. Love at first site.

Tom got a new Sim card for his phone. He’ll get an upgrade in January so he’ll probably go for the iPhone 5 too.

“Oh, naturally Facebook is the first app you put on there,” Tom said, glancing over as we walked out of the store.

“Thank you for my phone!” I said, hugging him. “I love it.”

“Happy early Anniversary.”

Here’s the thing about the phone though. We couldn’t figure out how to hear sounds on it. I kept going into settings and then I’d have Tom call my phone and it would only vibrate. It turns out you had to flick this thingy:




I’m taking a picture in case anyone else is confused.

Weird.

Still, I’ve been loving my phone. I’ve been messing with Siri. I still don’t know what all it can do.

And no, I won’t be sharing it with my kids.

It’s MY phone. They can keep their sticky hands far away from it.

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