So where was I?
Oh, right.
Pressure on my eye.
Burning hair smell.
Focus on the green light.
I remember being led into a room and the doctor making a mark on my left eye. My left eye, you see, has astigmatism so he had to mark it in order to correct it. That was odd because my eyes were numb. I saw him coming at me with the pen and that was it.
And then it came time to lay back. My heart was beating like mad and a woman told me she was going to get Tom.
“Now,” another woman said. She leaned over me and smile. “Just look at the green light no matter what.”
She was blurry. I couldn’t make out her face. I hoped that would be the last time I wouldn’t be able to see someone up close.
Tom was able to watch from the window. I saw his form briefly before they started putting all the equipment above me.
I saw the green light they were talking about and stared hard at it. I didn’t want to think about what was going on with my eyes or else I’d panic.
Yes, they held my eye open but you didn’t really notice it since they kept putting artificial tears in. And plus, you know, it was numb.
Yes, the pressure on the eye felt weird. I could hear a robotic voice in the background counting down.
“Fifteen seconds….”
And then a woman would say, “Almost done…”
“Ten seconds….”
“You’re almost there…”
“Five seconds…”
“And you’re done. Just keep focusing on the green light.”
My vision got weird as the doctor moved stuff around in my eye. The green light darted left and then right. I sort of felt like I was in space. Everything was dark, except for the green light.
Before I knew it, my right eye was done.
Then the same thing happened to my left.
“You are done,” I was told.
I felt odd. My eyes didn’t hurt but the relaxers had kicked in so I felt limp. I felt someone grip my arm and lead me out.
“You did great,” the woman said.
Everything was blurry. I knew that would happen. But things were definitely clearer than before. Plus, I had on the unattractive goggles.
“Are you okay?” Tom asked. I could feel him take a hold of me. I peered up at my husband and mumbled something about fudge. I might have told him I wanted some.
We sat down at a table and I was given instructions on how to use the eye drops. And I was told to sleep propped up for the first 24 hours so my eye flap didn’t go out of place. I know. Ew. I didn’t want to sleep propped up for 24 hours. Oh, and the whole eye flap thing.
Then I had to rest for 10 minutes to make sure my eyes weren’t going to rebel. They didn’t, so then I was able to go home.
Let me tell you, when I got home I was still out of it. I know this because when I was explaining how it went, my Mom asked why I was slurring my words.
“I’mnotslurringmyworrddsss,” I replied indignantly. I sounded normal. But I guess to everyone else I was Mel Gibson. (Only I wasn’t yelling or calling people Sugar Tits.)
“Let’s get you to bed,” Tom said carefully, talking to me like I was a mental patient. He brought out the lawn chair that reclined since we do not have a recliner. He settled me down and I looked up at him. He was still a little blurry.
“DoIlooksillyyyy?” I wanted to know. After all, I was in goggles.
“No,” Tom lied. “Get some rest.”
I shut my eyes and promptly fell asleep.
When I came back down, I could see a little better. Tommy kept flicking me looks and asking if I was okay. It turns out I freaked him out when I slurred my words. I’m not like Lindsay Lohan on a daily basis so he wasn’t used to that. He had asked my Mom if I was going to normal the next day.
The good news is, I can see better each day. The bad news is, yes, it still gets blurry on and off and I sometimes have to wear my sunglasses indoors. My eyes are sensitive to light. Now I know how a vampire feels. I stepped out and crossed my fingers while shouting, “Ahhhh! It burns!” (I think I embarrassed my kids when I did that.)
My eyes also get dry to the point where I want to ask other people around me, “Do you feel like clawing your eyes out right now? No? Oh, that’s just me. Better use some eye drops..”
Yup. I’ve become an eye drop expert. I still hate the things, but they help my eyes out so I deal.
Bottom line? I recommend Lasik. Yeah, it’s expensive. But it’s worth it. If you do it, let me know and we can compare stories!
(Seriously, the worst part was no computer for 24 hours. Is that sad?)
(And I guess the burning hair smell was gross, too.)
(Oh, and I didn’t get fudge, but Tom went out and got me a cake:
I swear I took a picture of it complete, but my eyes were weird and I didn’t push the take picture button. Oops. And yes, he’s aware he spelled congrats wrong.)
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