Just A Couple of Bonos

“Wait. So no more glasses? Forever?” Tommy asked with a frown.

We were at the dinner table and I had just told the kids that I’d be getting Lasik on Friday.

“That’s the hope,” I answered.

Tommy poked at his chicken. “You won’t be in glasses anymore?” He has Aspergers and doesn’t always deal well with change.

“Nope,” I said, sipping my Diet Coke.

Tommy set his fork down. “So you’ll just have no glasses now?”

I sighed. You have to have patience when dealing with Tommy. Or any kid, really. Sometimes I don’t always have that.

“That’s right. I’ll have lasers in my eyes to correct—”

“LASERS? LIKE A SUPERHERO USES?” Tommy shouted.

I almost fell out of my seat. Must he be so loud? “Not quite. These lasers are going to help my eyes so I can see without glasses.” I stared at Natalie, who was eating the garlic bread. Naturally, she didn’t touch her chicken. She’s picky about what meats she’ll eat. “What do you think about no glasses for Mommy?”

Natalie chewed thoughtfully. “Can I have them? They’re pink.”

Oh. Um.

“No. These glasses are strong. I don’t want to ruin your eyes. I hope you guys get your Dad’s perfect vision. You don’t want mine. Trust me.”

“Can I poke your eyes?” Natalie asked sweetly.

Uh.

“No? I’d rather you didn’t.”

Natalie looked crestfallen. “Oh.”

“I’ll have to wear dark glasses for a couple of days,” I warned. “I’ll be like this singer called Bono and—”

“Why would you wear sunglasses inside?” Tommy cut in. “That’s weird.”

I thought back to when Tommy would come to the table in sunglasses. I’d call him Kanye. And he was calling ME weird?

“It’s because my eyes will be sensitive. And I’ll have to use eye drops to keep them healthy,” I explained.

“Can your eyes fall out?” Tommy wondered.

Oh my God. COULD my eyes fall out? No, but of course not.

Why was I discussing this with my kids again?

“Guys, I just want you to know that for a couple of days after I get Lasik, I’ll be in sunglasses and my eyes might hurt. Okay?” I said.

No one said anything for a few minutes. And then…

“Can I wear sunglasses inside, too?” Natalie whispered.

Fine. We’ll both be Bono.