The Different Reactions

I find that I get different reactions when I tell people that Tom is in Korea for a year. I’ve probably even written about them before. I decided to make a list of the different reactions that I’ve received, as I’ve found some humorous.

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ANGER


Me: My husband is in Korea for a year.

Them: Why would you allow that?

Me: I know it’s important for my husband to serve his country and he didn’t feel he was doing that here.

Them: But for him to just take off and leave his family!

Me: It’s okay. We get to talk to him on Skype.

Them: Still.

Me: Really, it’s okay, I’m an Only Child so I don’t mind it. I actually like having the bed to myself.

Them: *Blinks* Don’t you know that hookers run rampant over there? What if your husband sleeps with a hooker?

Me: Then I’ll take him for half of everything he has. Which isn’t much.

Them: How can you joke at a time like this? Your husband left and might be hanging around HOOKERS.

Me: I wonder if he can get me a picture. I’ve always wanted to see a Korean hooker.

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SORROW


Me: My husband is in Korea for a year.

Them: Oh my God, you poor thing. How are you holding up?

Me: I’m okay, thank you.

Them: Don’t you just want to cry every night?

Me: Um. No.

Them: I’d want to cry every night. In fact, I’m tearing up right now, excuse me. You poor, poor thing.

Me: I’m okay.

Them: If you ever need someone to talk to, I know a good therapist.

Me: I don’t think that’ll be necessary, I have a blog, I don’t need a therapist.

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HAPPY


Me: My husband is in Korea for a year.

Them: Woohoo, freedom from the man!

Me: ?????

Them: Isn’t it awesome to do whatever you want?

Me: Er? Within reason.

Them: You can buy whatever you want and they’ll never know!

Me: Well, my husband would know, he just looks at the bank statement. I actually got lectured over the amount I spent at Target.

Them: You can have boyfriends over!

Me: (A little afraid) Well, seeing as I made a vow when I got married to forsake all others, there are no boyfriends. Unless you count John Krasinksi, but he doesn’t know I exist so...

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OVERLY DRAMATIC


Me: My husband is in Korea for a year.

Them: A year? An entire year? A whole year? What are you going to do without him for a year? How will you cope?

Me: I’ll be fine. I have two kids to keep me busy.

Them: An entire year? Will your kids even recognize their father when he comes back?

Me: Thanks to the invention of Skype, yes.

Them: What are you going to do? What happens if something breaks? What if you die in your sleep? Then what?

Me: I guess I’d hope that my son would call the police and not pig out on junk food and dance naked around my carcass while eating my Ho Hos that I won’t let him have.

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KNOW IT ALL


Me: My husband is in Korea for a year.

Them: Oh, no biggie, at least it’s not Afghanistan.

Me: True. Though Korea isn’t exactly the safest place in the world.

Them: But it’s not Afghanistan and plus, my husband was once deployed for 18 months. A year is nothing.

Me: Um.

Them: At least it’s not Afghanistan. Korea is nothing. Korea is like a vacation.

Me: Kiss my pale ass. (No, I’m kidding, I didn’t say that but I do think this.)