This morning I was sent this in an email and my thoughts flooded back to a day in my not so distant past when I experienced a very painful conversation with my mom. It was New Years Day 1998. Kat was a Senior in high school. I was home alone when she stopped by for a visit. When she left I remember sitting in the dark and crying until I could not breathe. My mom told me she thought she had alzheimers. She told me at that moment that she wanted me to know she loved me....because there might come a day when she did not even know me. I thought she was being melodramatic. If only I had known. She did not really SHOW signs until Daddy was diagnosed terminal. Then and only then did I begin to see how sick she really was. I think I had just stuck my head in the ground back in 1998. Anyways ny 1998 conversation with my mom could have been this very LETTER FROM A MOTHER TO A DAUGHTER:
"My dear girl, the day you see I’m getting old, I ask you to please be patient, but most of all, try to understand what I’m going through. If when we talk, I repeat the same thing a thousand times, don’t interrupt to say: “You said the same thing a minute ago”... Just listen, please. Try to remember the times when you were little and I would read the same story night after night until you would fall asleep. When I don’t want to take a bath, don’t be mad and don’t embarrass me. Remember when I had to run after you making excuses and trying to get you to take a shower when you were just a girl?
When you see how ignorant I am when it comes to new technology, give me the time to learn and don’t look at me that way... remember, honey, I patiently taught you how to do many things like eating appropriately, getting dressed, combing your hair and dealing with life’s issues every day... the day you see I’m getting old, I ask you to please be patient, but most of all, try to understand what I’m going through. If I occasionally lose track of what we’re talking about, give me the time to remember, and if I can’t, don’t be nervous, impatient or arrogant. Just know in your heart that the most important thing for me is to be with you. And when my old, tired legs don’t let me move as quickly as before, give me your hand the same way that I offered mine to you when you first walked.
When those days come, don’t feel sad... just be with me, and understand me while I get to the end of my life with love. I’ll cherish and thank you for the gift of time and joy we shared. With a big smile and the huge love I’ve always had for you, I just want to say, I love you... my darling daughter."
- Unknown,
I was that daughter. My mom and I had struggled to be close after my brother died. I had a great relationship with my dad....but my mom and I seemed to drift further and further apart. When my father became ill, they disappeared for 3 days, we had to put them in assisted living, we had to put them in a nursing home, my dad died, my mom was placed in an alzheimers unit at a local nursing home, and then she died. I am just grateful that in the latter years of her life I was able to be ther daughter who listened as she repeated many stories, I was patient, I loved her unconditionally.....just like she had done me....so many years before. Alzheimer's Stinks! I hope none of you ever have to lose a parent to this horrific disease. Happy Tuesday!
"My dear girl, the day you see I’m getting old, I ask you to please be patient, but most of all, try to understand what I’m going through. If when we talk, I repeat the same thing a thousand times, don’t interrupt to say: “You said the same thing a minute ago”... Just listen, please. Try to remember the times when you were little and I would read the same story night after night until you would fall asleep. When I don’t want to take a bath, don’t be mad and don’t embarrass me. Remember when I had to run after you making excuses and trying to get you to take a shower when you were just a girl?
When you see how ignorant I am when it comes to new technology, give me the time to learn and don’t look at me that way... remember, honey, I patiently taught you how to do many things like eating appropriately, getting dressed, combing your hair and dealing with life’s issues every day... the day you see I’m getting old, I ask you to please be patient, but most of all, try to understand what I’m going through. If I occasionally lose track of what we’re talking about, give me the time to remember, and if I can’t, don’t be nervous, impatient or arrogant. Just know in your heart that the most important thing for me is to be with you. And when my old, tired legs don’t let me move as quickly as before, give me your hand the same way that I offered mine to you when you first walked.
When those days come, don’t feel sad... just be with me, and understand me while I get to the end of my life with love. I’ll cherish and thank you for the gift of time and joy we shared. With a big smile and the huge love I’ve always had for you, I just want to say, I love you... my darling daughter."
- Unknown,
I was that daughter. My mom and I had struggled to be close after my brother died. I had a great relationship with my dad....but my mom and I seemed to drift further and further apart. When my father became ill, they disappeared for 3 days, we had to put them in assisted living, we had to put them in a nursing home, my dad died, my mom was placed in an alzheimers unit at a local nursing home, and then she died. I am just grateful that in the latter years of her life I was able to be ther daughter who listened as she repeated many stories, I was patient, I loved her unconditionally.....just like she had done me....so many years before. Alzheimer's Stinks! I hope none of you ever have to lose a parent to this horrific disease. Happy Tuesday!
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