My Dear Letters

Dear Justin Bieber,

Please put on a shirt and lay off wearing the gas masks everywhere. Perhaps you wanted to go incognito, which is fine, but at this point if someone spots someone in a gas mask they’ll probably go, “Justin Bieber, is that you?” since you keep doing it.

And PS. It’s called a belt.

Signed,
A-Tired-Of-These-Ridiculous-Celebrities,
Amber

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Dear Natalie,

You do not pack well. No, you cannot bring your Rapunzel, your wedding Rapunzel, Pascal, Cinderella, Snow White, crowns, play dresses, microphone, and plastic high heels. Pick ONE thing and you’ll see the rest later.

Signed,
She’d-Take-Her-Whole-Room-If-I-Let-Her,
Amber

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Dear Army Wives,

You have gotten awful. I still watch, since I’ve watched from the beginning. But the first episode of the new season bored me to tears. I know I was meant to be moved, but I was annoyed that most of the original cast members were leaving.

PS. Please get rid of Gloria. Her accent is annoying and sounds fake.

Signed,
A-Please-Improve-Or-Star-An-Air-Force-Wives-Show,
Amber

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Dear Tommy,

Please, please use your deodorant after track practice. I love you but holy crap, your pits can make someone keel over.

Signed,
An-Almost-Wants-To-Stick-Those-Air-Freshner-Circle-Things-On-Him,
Amber