What I'd Like For Mother Day...

So.

Mother’s Day is Sunday.

I decided to write a post where I list the things that I’d like on that day.

Do I think they’ll happen?

Probably not.

Still.

It’s nice to dream.....



I’d like....my kids to sleep in until noon. It’s been ages since I’ve slept in until noon. I can barely remember what it’s like.


I’d like...for Natalie to stop handing me her boogers. I don’t want them.


I’d like...my kids to not be so picky at dinner. It’s beef stew for craps sake, not dirt. I don’t appreciate Tommy gagging or Natalie shouting, “This beef looks like poop!” JUST EAT IT!


I’d like...for Tommy to stop talking about forceps and babies being pushed from vaginas in public.


I’d like...to not have to read Snow White to Natalie anymore. I’d over the irritating chick with the strange voice.


I’d like...to hide Natalie’s creepy Yo Gabba Gabba toys. I don’t like the way Muno (the one that looks like a diseased penis) stares at me with his one eye.


I’d like...to be able to read a book in two days like I used to. Instead it takes me two weeks, sometimes two months, because Natalie thinks it’s funny to take it from me.


I’d like...to have something that belongs to ME. Natalie got a hold of my iPod Touch and now her sticky fingerprints are all over the screen. I’m sorry, but it’s MINE.


I’d like...for Nick Jr to put on some new episodes of Wonder Pets. If I have to see the one with the bee on more time, I fear I might scream.


I’d like...to shop in peace, without someone begging for a toy or having a meltdown over cheese.


I’d like...to have things that aren’t stained or broken. My poor couch has been abused so much over the years. I don’t even want to talk about my table…


I’d like...to be able to use the bathroom in peace. I don’t need Natalie to observe me. I don’t need Tommy asking me things from the other side of the door. Can’t it WAIT?


I’d like...calories to not count on Mother’s Day. What? A girl can hope...