My pastor and friend Bill Etheridge wrote a small column in our Cornerstone this week and it inspired me to share it with you. I have included a copy of the story he shared because I think that it is a great way to start off a new year.
What is enough?
Recently I overheard a mother and daughter in their last moments together at the airport. They had announced the departure. Standing near the security gate, they hugged and the mother said "I love you and I wish you enough." The daughter replied, "Mom, our life together has been more than enough. Your love is all I ever needed. I wish you enough, too, Mom." They kissed and the daughter left. The mother walked over to the window where I was seated. Standing there I could see she wanted and needed to cry. I tried not to intrude on her privacy but she welcomed me in by asking, "Did you ever say goodbye to someone knowing it would be forever?” "Yes, I have," I replied. "Forgive me for asking but why is this a forever goodbye?” "I am old and she lives so far away. I have challenges ahead and the reality is – the next trip back will be for my funeral,” she said. "When you were saying goodbye, I heard you say 'I wish you enough.' May I ask what that means?" She began to smile. "That's a wish that has been handed down from other generations. My parents used to say it to everyone." She paused a moment and looked up as if trying to remember it in detail and she smiled even more. "When we said 'I wish you enough' we were wanting the other person to have a life filled with just enough good things to sustain them." Then turning toward me she shared the following as if she were reciting it from memory -- I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright. I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun more. I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive. I wish you enough pain so that the smallest joys in life appear much bigger. I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting. I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess. I wish you
enough hellos to get you through the final good-bye. She then began to cry and walked away.
After I read this storyI thought about all the times I have hugged a child goodbye, or my parents, and just assumed that I would see them again shortly....but will I? I am not guaranteed any time on this earth and I have had a good life to date. I always tell my loved ones I love them....because it might be the last time....but I think from now on I am going to wish them enough too. My dear friend Rhonda and her nephew Andy and their family experienced this on Jan. 2nd. I am sure when they told Mrs. Jean goodbye the last time they were with her....they had no clue....that it would truly be the last time.....ever. At the hospital Rita asked Rhonda if there was anything the three of us, Blue, Rita, and myself, could do for her.....her very heart wrenching response was, "bring my momma back." I felt my heart squeeze. I would have moved heaven and earth if I could have at that moment to do just that for them....but....somehow I know....that Mrs. Jean prepared them all with enough. She was that kind of woman. She never left you unloved, unhugged, or unpraised. She was something else....so as the new year begins....I wish you enough in 2009. God bless you all!
And I always meant to try it out right away but it didn't happen.
I had taken it out of the box on Christmas morning and glanced through the instructions.
But then the WiiFit sat in the corner of the room.
Waiting.
And waiting.
Then my best friend Jennifer called. She wanted to know how I liked my WiiFit because she was tempted to buy one.
"Erm," I answered. "I actually haven't tried it out yet."
It had been a little over a week since Christmas at that point.
Really, I had MEANT to try it out.
But the housework came first. And okay, so did coming online.
Jennifer seemed stunned that I hadn't tried it out yet.
Actually, Tom was surprised too.
"I thought you really wanted a WiiFit," he reminded me.
"I did!" I argued. "I just...no time.." I shrugged and tried to look cute. I may have even batted my eyelashes.
Tom ended up trying it out first. He did it during the night when I was asleep.
When I woke up he informed me that it was pretty cool.
"Though my BMI is overweight," Tom admitted. He made a face. "My Mii is all fat.."
For some reason Tom pronounces Mii ME-AH.
"Tom," I said, because this irritates me. "It's ME. You know, Nintendo WII. So you have a ME."
Tom blinked at me for a few seconds and then went, "Anyhow. The games are pretty cool. I'm awful at this one where soccer balls are hurled at you and you have to get out of the way."
I decided when Natalie went down for her nap that I would try out the WiiFit.
I pulled the board out and picked my Mii.
Then it told me my BMI.
Normal.
Yay.
Then it lectured me on the importance of proper balance.
And then it tested my balance.
I was bluntly told that I was unbalanced and that I may want to work on that.
It even asked me, "Do you fall down a lot?"
EXCUSE ME?
I had the urge to give the WiiFit the finger.
Another thing that is startling (insulting?) about the WiiFit is that when you stand it on it, sometimes it'll go "OHHHHH," in this surprised voice.
As though you are ultra heavy or something.
The games are fun. I did the short run and one minute in my breathing became heavy.
"What's that sound?" Tom asked from his computer game.
"I'm....RUNNING..." I gasped out.
Then I tried this snowboarding game where you have to go between flags.
I was told that I was unbalanced again.
Just call me Unbalanced Amber.
I tried to do Yoga but found I couldn't hold my position. I tried to do the Tree and kept toppling over.
My trainer told me that I was unbalanced (that word again!) and that maybe I want to work on easier positions before coming back.
Rude. Was the fake trainer KICKING me out? Of a FAKE Yoga room??!
I picked the male trainer too. You get to choose between a male or a female and I thought the male would be nicer. I've seen The Biggest Loser. That Jillian scares the everloving CRAP out of me.
Plus I giggle at some of the positions for Yoga. I just cannot take a position called the downward dog seriously.
So I mainly stick to the Aerobics and the Balancing games. Even though I'm unbalanced.
I've been getting on the WiiFit for four days in a row. I've been told if you skip a few days then you get lectured when you get back on.
My dear friend Jeannie sent me an email today titled my wish for you in 2009. I read it over and felt at peace. I truly believe in the words that came with the email and had to share them with you today.
"There comes a point in your life when you realize who matters, who never did, who won't anymore.. and who always will. So, don't worry about people from your past, there's a reason why they didn't make it to your future. Be kinder than necessary because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle. Life is not the way it's supposed to be. It's the way it is. The way you cope with it is what makes the difference."
I teach high school and have come to understand the term that we all have baggage in our lives. No one ever walks away from baggage. Whatever happens in your life....you carry with you forever. I am a living example of that. Decisions that I make and have made all were the results of the baggage I carry. Once hurt twice shy is true. I almost missed out on a good thing because I was afraid of being hurt again. Fortunately I realized the error of my decision before it was too late. I grew up with parents that adored each other and are still happily married after 58 years. I thought that is the way marriage was supposed to be....well....I found out....it isn't. Not everyone gets the brass ring....or rides off into the sunset with the prince. I see kids and fellow collegues fighting battles every day....whether it be aging or sick parents, sickness themselves, children who have turned and walked away, abuse, it does not matter....I have come to see that we all have battles to fight.....and how we cope with them truly does make the difference. I can be depressed and sad....and become a negative talking person.....or I can chose to make life the best I can ......I personally....chose to let go....and let God. He can handle it. Have a good one!
So on Friday night after we (read: I) had tucked the kids to bed, Tom and I watched 20/20.
It was about Extreme Parenting so I was immediately intrigued.
Tom was not.
"Can't I switch it to The Military Channel?" he asked.
"No," I answered, settling down on the couch to watch. I had a glass of ice water beside me, even though I wanted a tall glass of diet Dr. Pepper. With a bowl of chocolates to nibble on. But I have this rule that I can't eat after 8. Which, believe me, is not an easy thing to do. My stomach seems to start to rumble at around 7:30 and I try to shut it up with water. But I have a stubborn stomach because it continues to rumble and it's all, "What's this crap? WATER? We don't want water! Bring on the chocolates! Bring on the chocolates!"
And because Natalie enjoys watching that creepy Yo Gabba Gabba show where Brobee (freaky green one) crones about having a party in his tummy while shoving food down his throat my mind inevitably thinks about the song and then my stomach is all, "We'd like a party in here. There's no party with water."
Well, too bad stomach. It's not my fault that you digest dinner in what seems like a matter of minutes. With the small dessert that I have afterwards.
Anyhow, the 20/20 program started and the first story was about Orgasmic Childbirth or something like that. Apparently you can have an orgasm while giving birth. I was unaware of this. I thought back to my births and remembered the pain and the feeling like I was being ripped apart and COULD I PLEASE HAVE MORE DRUGS FOR THE LOVE OF GOD?
An orgasm would be the farthest thing from my mind when attempting to push out a human being.
But apparently it can be done.
An "expert" was on there talking about it and she said cheerfully, "Well, you know, the baby is coming down the pelvis and OTHER THINGS go up there and cause orgasms. So why not then?"
Um. I'll tell you why not then.
Because not only are you dealing with excruciating pain, but you're also dealing with a bunch of disgusting stuff being expelled from you. Blood. Leftover amniotic fluid. Poop.
That mixed with a huge case of the ouchies does not get me in the mood to have an orgasm.
But one lady who was giving birth on the screen (under a tree! In a pool!) apparently had an orgasm. She was on her knees and she suddenly went, "OOOOOOOOOOhhhhh," in a way that made me blush on the couch and not want to make eye contact with Tom.
Who, by the way, was playing his computer game but the second he heard that noise his neck whipped over to the TV ("one day you're gonna get whiplash, Tom,") and he went, "What the f*ck?" Because when the children are in bed, the swear words tend to pour from his mouth in a way that could make truck drivers turn red.
"She's...she's..." I tried to explain.
But then the narrator explained about the orgasm and put me out of my misery.
"While giving BIRTH?" Tom asked incrediously.
"Apparently," I squeaked out. "It can be done."
I was grateful when that story ended and a new one began.
This was about Extended Breastfeeding.
And I watched in disbelief as this woman nursed a nine-year-old.
Erm.
The mother said something like, "It gives her comfort. Why should I take that away from her?"
Uh.
Because after her friends catch wind of this story she's going to be mocked for life. And if she gets upset at school some bastard kid is going to be all, "Sorry, I can't breastfeed you to give you COMFORT!"
What if some bully calls her TitGirl?
I mean really.
Tommy self weaned at 22 months.
I'm working on Natalie. But she'll be cut off at the age of two. She will not be traumatized. She'll find her comfort in other ways. Like, I don't know, cuddling in my arms? MINUS the breast. I imagine she'll be fine.
After that story one about Reborning began. That's where women buy those realistic dolls and treat them as babies. One woman had over 10 and had an entire room dedicated to her dolls. Complete with a real changing table. She even had her granddaughter's come over and celebrate one of her doll's birthdays.
If I were the granddaughter I'd be all, "Grandma? The crap? I hate to break this to you but this doll isn't real and also, the way it's staring at me is creeping me out."
The last story was about homebirthing. Some do it without midwives these days.
No thank you.
I need to give birth in a hospital.
With the drugs.
My hat is off to the women who choose to give birth at home. But it is not for me.
This one woman gave birth in a pool set up in her living room. After she gave birth to her baby she said something like, "I touched the eternal.."
Which caused Tom and I to crack up.
For the rest of the night we used that line.
"Mmmm. This sandwich is good. I touched the eternal," Tom said with a laugh.
"I had an epidural when I gave birth. I TOUCHED the eternal," I added dramatically.
Tom held his glass of Sunkist up. "This drink is delicious. I TOUCHED the eternal..."
Then we exploded with laughter, both knowing full well that we were being incredibly immature.
"I'm glad you didn't want to give birth at home," Tom continued. "I don't mean to be rude but there is no way I'd have climbed in that bathtub with you. Did you see all that STUFF floating around in there after that woman gave birth?"
I made a face. "I did. Ew. I remember all the stuff that came out of me when I had the kids. I would not want to be swimming in it. Plus, ew, suppose she pooped in there? Giving birth with a turd floating around? No thanks!"
So yeah. I'll give birth on a hospital bed where the nurses can clean that stuff off of me.
It was an interesting program.
In it I learned that I'd A) never have an orgasmic childbirth B) never would nurse my children past the age of two C) never buy a fake baby (especially when I found out that a lot of them cost over a thousand bucks!) and D) never give birth at home. In a bathtub. With (maybe) turds floating around.
"Can I change the channel now?" Tom begged when the show was over.
"Yeah," I said and tossed him the remote.
He switched it to The Military Channel which seriously can put me to sleep.
So I finished putting the rest of the Christmas decorations away.
And now the house looks bare and I miss the glowing lights of the Christmas tree. (Which is now resting in a special tree bag in the garage.)
Ahh well. Onto decorating the house for Valentines Day I suppose..
Ok, today is January 5th. The most dreaded day in a teacher's vocabulary....today is Professional Development Day. School teachers need 25 C.E.U.'s each year to keep their certification. Some people have a hard time getting the correct number of hours. The rest of us love to take online courses, and attend cool workshops and have a bizillion hours by January. I personally have over 100 right now and there are 5 months left in the school year for me to get more. Today I taught one on Conversational Spanish and then attended one on Wikis and Blogs. I went for fun, not necessarily for pain. Several of my friends attended workshops on CPR, AMSTI, School Safety and Asbergers Syndrome. I am glad I took the Blogging way out. I love Laura Gulledge and she is our presenter. She is energetic, fun, amusing, a true free thinker and so here I sit blogging in her Blogging workshop. How cool is that? I am looking around the classroom and wondering how many of these people have their own blogs. I can't imagine my life without one. I think the creation of the blog was the greatest thing since sliced bread. (That is a true Southern idiom for my northern readers.) Some people exercise to relieve stress....I blog. I just open my mind and let my thoughts flow.....and flow they do. Sometimes I try out sermon topics and other times I just sound off. Laura is talking now so I must go and be a student of the Wiki and the Blog....and for the next two hours blog my little heart out! Happy Monday! K
It was only fair since Tom went to see Valkyrie. He said it was good enough for him to want it on DVD.
I couldn't decide what I wanted to see. It was between Marley and Me or Benjamin Button. Aniston versus Pitt. Who, I'm sorry to say, I do not find attractive. He is much too pretty boy for me. Plus I don't like the fact that he checked out of the marriage and turned to Angelina Jolie. And I think the reason why Angelina wants to adopt so many children is to try to clear her Karma. Because she knows she's in deep sh*t for stealing a husband so she's all, "Maybe if I help impoverished kids then all will be okay again.."
I went back and forth for awhile and then opted for Marley and Me simply because it was a shorter movie. And because I'm still mad at Brad Pitt.
I headed off yesterday afternoon. I stood in line to get my ticket and was behind a bunch of old ladies. One of them shuffled up to the counter and shouted, "ONE TICKET FOR MAGGIE AND ME!"
The woman on the other side of the glass replied back, "You mean, Marley and Me?"
"MAGGIE AND ME!" the old lady practically screamed.
Her friend nudged her. "Debbie, you're talking too loud again. Not everyone is near deaf like you."
I bought my ticket and got in the long concession stand line.
I love movie theater popcorn. Swimming in butter. And salt. And SnoCaps. For those who don't know, SnoCaps are chocolate chips with little white candies on them. I always dump those into my popcorn. Tom is disgusted with this. When we got a popcorn the last movie we saw together (and it's been so long I can't even remember what movie that was..) he was horrified when I dumped the candy on top of the popcorn.
"Okay, now you've ruined it," Tom complained.
"You kidding me?" I answered, taking a huge bite. Mmmm butter and chocolate. "It's delicious. Try some!" I pressed the bag close to his face and he backed away as though I was trying to get him to eat brussel sprouts or something.
"No thanks. I'm good. I'll just stick to my nachos," Tom fumed.
Whatevs.
More popcorn and chcolate for me.
I used to be able to get SnoCaps at Wal-Mart or Target for .99 cents.
I can't find them there anymore. I'm wondering if the movie theaters caught on that people were sneaking them in and made a deal with stores not to sell them anymore?
Because I had to fork over THREE dollars for the same SnoCaps at the theater.
It was painful, let me tell you.
THREE dollars for candy.
I reluctantly handed over the last of my Christmas cash and then hurried to theater number 5.
I knew it would be packed. Because when I was standing in line, basically everyone who came up to buy tickets were buying them for the 1:30 of Marley and Me.
Mainly old people.
Old people must love those dog movies or something.
Actually, it's probably a relief for them to find a movie that's not filled with swearing, sex and booze.
I mean geez. Some of the movies of today are shocking to me.
I was able to find a good seat.
I settled down and immediately set to dumping the SnoCaps on top of the popcorn. Then I shook the bag and took a bite.
Mmmm. Butter and chocolate.
Then the previews began.
I counted eight of them.
They did have a preview for a movie I want to see though.
Confessions of a Shopaholic.
Based on the hilarious books.
The woman in the movie reminds me of myself. Only instead of going crazy for name brand clothing for myself, I go crazy for children's clothing. And I don't have debt.
Here's a preview of the movie:
Then Marley and Me started. Now, people had warned me that it got sad towards the end. And that I should bring a tissue.
I didn't listen.
I should have listened.
Because the last half hour of the movie made me cry my eyes out. I had to use the sleeves of my shirt to dry my eyes. It was amusing because you could hear a cacophony of sniffles going off every few seconds.
I was a little annoyed at one point though. During a poignant scene, someone's CELL PHONE went off.
Hello?
Did they miss that HUGE sign that came on the screen before the movie started?
The one that read: PLEASE TURN OFF YOUR CELL PHONES.
It even had a picture of a cell phone turning off. So not being able to read is not an excuse.
When that woman's cell phone rang a bunch of people went "SHHHHH!" at once.
Then the lady beside me started texting. Her bright screen was distracting and I wanted to snatch the phone from her hands and throw it across the room.
You do NOT text while in a movie theater.
Other than those moments, I had an enjoyable time. I liked the movie. I was glad that it didn't have elaborate sex scenes in it like I imagine Benjamin Button did. I hate when movies have elaborate sex scenes. In Marley and Me it just showed the two main characters kissing passionately and then it cut to the next scene. That's what more movies need to do. I'd rather not SEE people going at it. If if I wanted to see that sort of thing, I'd rent a porno.
When the movie ended, we all filtered out of the theater. The teenager workers who were waiting to clean up shook their heads and one went, "Why is everyone always crying after this movie?"
His friend replied, "Dude, the dog (edited so as not to give away ending)..."
Seriously. All the women coming out of there had tissues in their hands and red faces.
I drove home and when I walked through the door Tom raised an eyebrow at me.
"What's wrong with your face?" he asked bluntly.
See, I'm not a pretty crier. Some women are. Me? Well, my face gets these awful red splotches and my nose starts to run and extra spit fills my mouth so I feel like I have to swallow every two seconds.
"The movie had a sad ending," I answered with a sniff. I started tearing up just thinking about it.
I told Tom what that ending was and the heartless bastard simply went, "It happens."
Ugh.
Natalie marched over to me and went, "BOOB!" and tugged on my leg. "BOOB!"
"She's been asking for boob for the past hour," Tom explained.
Oh.
I was slightly insulted. I mean she didn't ask for ME. She was just asking for my BOOB.
I gave her some breastmilk and then she gave me a little smack and walked away. Like she was punishing me for leaving.
Well, excuse me!
So bottom line is that I highly recommend Marley and Me.
But don't be stupid like I was: bring a freakin' tissue because you'll probably need it if you're one of those types who cry during movies.
Today you will find everyone asking you the same question, "what are your new year's resolutions?" So I decided to start of the New Year and my blog with some comments on what I am going to be resolved to do in 2009. Of course there is the tradtional resolutions to quit something you do that is bad for you, exercise more, lose weight (which is my personal challenge)....but whether you've resolved to do some things less and other things more, the new year is always a great chance to change old habit and create new ones. The new year also gives us a chance to reflect. It is a time to ask ourselves just how did 2008 treat us? What were our triumphs? What were our challenges? What did God do for us and through us? How do we want to be better in 2009? What do we want to do differently. The sad part about resolutions is that most of the time they are shortlived. We SAY...we are going to change a pattern of behavior....and for a few days, weeks, or even months....we may do just that....but by March....we are back to the old habits once again. That is where the change needs to come. We are human....we make mistakes, and we fall short more often than not.....when we hit the resolution pitfall....we need to get back up....dust ourselves off....and get back on track. We are not perfect...we need to quit trying to be....and bad mouthing ourselves when we aren't.
I began thinking about what I resolved in 2008....on this very day....and had to laugh. I resolved last year to make NO resolutions....that way I would not have to fear breaking them. It was a good point in logic....lousy commentary on life. I made NO resolutions last year....so I had nothing to strive for....or be defeated by....no challenge whatsoever....How lazy is that? I am sitting here in 2009...thinking....you idiot! You are better than that....you should have at least attempted a resolution.....but nope....I did not! I hang my head in shame. I am not perfect by any stretch of the imagination....and there is always room for improvement in my life....so where did I get off thinking I was like God?
2009 is my year of possiblities....it is my year of opportunities....it is my year of dreams. I love the new year concept...it is like becoming a Christian.....the slate is wiped clean....and you get to start over again...God takes the old man (who we were before)....and turns him into a new man (who we will be)....so here it is 2009....7:35 in the morning....and I have a chance to do some house cleaning. My resolution this year....is to be a better person(my goal is).....to love others deeper....to listen to others hurts, desires, wishes and wants, to turn on light bulbs in my students eyes....to respect myself more....and to like myself more.....now if in the process of attempting these resolutions....I manage to drop a few pounds.....whooopeee!....but if I don't....it is ok. When 2009 is over I want to look at myself and like what I see....no matter what the picture is. I wish you a Happy New Year.....and resolve to blog more. God Bless Us this year!
