The WiiFit is Mean

So, I got a WiiFit for Christmas.

And I always meant to try it out right away but it didn't happen.

I had taken it out of the box on Christmas morning and glanced through the instructions.

But then the WiiFit sat in the corner of the room.

Waiting.

And waiting.

Then my best friend Jennifer called. She wanted to know how I liked my WiiFit because she was tempted to buy one.

"Erm," I answered. "I actually haven't tried it out yet."

It had been a little over a week since Christmas at that point.

Really, I had MEANT to try it out.

But the housework came first. And okay, so did coming online.

Jennifer seemed stunned that I hadn't tried it out yet.

Actually, Tom was surprised too.

"I thought you really wanted a WiiFit," he reminded me.

"I did!" I argued. "I just...no time.." I shrugged and tried to look cute. I may have even batted my eyelashes.

Tom ended up trying it out first. He did it during the night when I was asleep.

When I woke up he informed me that it was pretty cool.

"Though my BMI is overweight," Tom admitted. He made a face. "My Mii is all fat.."

For some reason Tom pronounces Mii ME-AH.

"Tom," I said, because this irritates me. "It's ME. You know, Nintendo WII. So you have a ME."

Tom blinked at me for a few seconds and then went, "Anyhow. The games are pretty cool. I'm awful at this one where soccer balls are hurled at you and you have to get out of the way."

I decided when Natalie went down for her nap that I would try out the WiiFit.

I pulled the board out and picked my Mii.

Then it told me my BMI.

Normal.

Yay.

Then it lectured me on the importance of proper balance.

And then it tested my balance.

I was bluntly told that I was unbalanced and that I may want to work on that.

It even asked me, "Do you fall down a lot?"

EXCUSE ME?

I had the urge to give the WiiFit the finger.

Another thing that is startling (insulting?) about the WiiFit is that when you stand it on it, sometimes it'll go "OHHHHH," in this surprised voice.

As though you are ultra heavy or something.

The games are fun. I did the short run and one minute in my breathing became heavy.

"What's that sound?" Tom asked from his computer game.

"I'm....RUNNING..." I gasped out.

Then I tried this snowboarding game where you have to go between flags.

I was told that I was unbalanced again.

Just call me Unbalanced Amber.

I tried to do Yoga but found I couldn't hold my position. I tried to do the Tree and kept toppling over.

My trainer told me that I was unbalanced (that word again!) and that maybe I want to work on easier positions before coming back.

Rude. Was the fake trainer KICKING me out? Of a FAKE Yoga room??!

I picked the male trainer too. You get to choose between a male or a female and I thought the male would be nicer. I've seen The Biggest Loser. That Jillian scares the everloving CRAP out of me.

Plus I giggle at some of the positions for Yoga. I just cannot take a position called the downward dog seriously.

So I mainly stick to the Aerobics and the Balancing games. Even though I'm unbalanced.

I've been getting on the WiiFit for four days in a row. I've been told if you skip a few days then you get lectured when you get back on.

I do not want to be lectured by my WiiFit.

It already calls me Unbalanced.

I don't want to be known as Unbalanced AND Lazy.