Go Away, Snow

So I was in a deep sleep. Dreaming of jumping into the television screen and tearing the cartoon WiiFit to pieces.

"You think I'm unbalanced? Take THAT, WiiFit!" (I did a perfect high kick at this point like I was the next Karate Kid or something. The truth is, I can barely kick my leg two feet off the ground.)

"You want to know why I gained one pound? Take THAT, WiiFit!" (I tossed an angry punch into its middle.)

I was about to go for the grand finale of hurling the evil rectangular torture device (seriously, it feels like one sometimes) when...

...the phone rang.

Huh?

In the dream, I thought it was the WiiFit making the noise. As though the sound were its last defense mechanism or something. I wasn't sure what it was about to do. Blow up?

My eyes snapped open in confusion.

Where's that ringing coming from? How do I shut it up? Natalie, is that you?

Then I realized it was the phone. My hands started to feel around on the bed, looking for it. Thank goodness Tom was at work. Otherwise he would have gotten a few pats from my palm all over her face. I picture my hand slapping his cheeks lightly and him going, "What the hell?"

I managed to find the phone and I somehow remembered to push the on button.

"Ewwo?" I garbled out.

Sleep. Wanna go back to sleep. It's still sort of dark in here. What's happening? Did Tom hit something?

It turned out it was my favorite (sarcasm) automated voice yakking to me. Cheerfully.

"This is your 5:15 call from the Laramie County automated phone service.."

Ugh.

5:15!

Last time they called at 6:30 and that was hard enough.

Now they've updated it to FIVE freakin' FIFTEEN?

It gave me a list of the schools that were closed due to heavy snow.

Tommy's was not listed.

So basically, I was disturbed for nothing. I didn't get to watch my WiiFit break into smitherines a la David Letterman when he tosses things off that building.

Hmph.

After I hung up I sort of tossed the phone beside me. I may have uttered an expletive.

Then I rolled over and attempted to get back to sleep. Which took awhile, because I'm not like my husband, who is quite capable of placing his head on his pillow and falling asleep in a matter of minutes.

Yeah, we were dumped with snow. A lot of it.

Most of the time I wouldn't care. I just simply wouldn't leave the house.

But.

Gymboree is currently having a $4.99 sale. Of course the sale seems to only be for Kid Girls but for $4.99, heck, I'll buy ahead, you know? I'd pick up a bunch of size 3s. Plus they had some jeans for Kid Boys and Tommy always needs jeans. He's constantly wearing the knees of his pants until they're a bright silver and then I retire those to Play Clothes. So basically, after buying him eight pairs of jeans for the school year, he's now down to three good ones. Oh, of course he has other pants mixed in--khakis, corduroys, and these awful pull on pants that he loves and I hate. But I would have loved to get him some new pants. For FIVE bucks. I mean seriously.

But the snow kept falling. And falling. And, oh, falling.

I even yelled at it last night. I peeked out the window and moaned, "Please stop. I need to get to the sale. Could you PLEASE stop?"

And Tom looked at me as though I had grown another head. And yeah, it was silly of me to do.

But $4.99, people.

For clothes that are originally $32!

I'm sorry, but that's a kick ass deal.

Obviously I didn't go to the sale. My daughter's safety comes first. Notice I said my daughter. Because if it were just me I'd have gone even though I hate driving on snow. My poor PT Cruiser, it slides all over the place. It's like a ride at Disney in my vehicle when it's snowy.

So I'm here. Not shopping. Even though Tom, who always gripes that we have too many clothes in this house and did I realize that FIVE totes in the garage are filled with clothes--said I ought to go.

Huh?

"You need to learn how to drive in the snow sometime," he said with a shrug.

"But. I'll DIE," I spluttered dramatically. I pictured my PT Cruiser doing a spin into a light post and my air bag deflating and me suffocating into it. With a Gymboree bag beside me.

Then.

Then someone mentioned that their Target finally went 75% off for the remaining toys.

And I'm wondering if mine did too! Even though I just popped in yesterday, before the snow got too bad.

Oh well.

I tell myself it just wasn't meant to be.

So all you people with the nice weather? If you shop the $4.99 Gymboree sale, think of me. Stuck in my home in cold Wyoming.

Tom's next assignment better be to someplace warm.