The Five Stages of Moving

Moving can be difficult.

You have to organize, pack, stare intently at the movers so they don’t try to steal your stuff....

Or mouth something like, “I have a blog. I also took a photo of you on my phone so if you try anything, I know who you are.”

I probably won’t do that when the movers come today.

But you know how there are 5 Stages of Grief? I also believe there are 5 Stages of Moving.


Denial: “It’s not going to happen. The military is going to say no.”

Anger: “Okay, so we really are moving. The movers better not steal my stuff. If they steal my stuff, I’m going to have a fit and throw the change from my purse at their heads.”

Bargaining: “Okay, if they have to steal something, let them steal Tom’s hideous jackets that he insists he’ll wear again someday.”

Depression: “What if when we get to Oklahoma, things are broken? And stolen. What if they steal our DVDs? They better not steal my seasons of Lost. If they steal my seasons of Lost, I'll cry.”

Acceptance: “Everything will be okay. The movers will be nice, friendly men who would never dream if taking something that doesn’t belong to them.”