How could people run for fun? There was nothing fun about this feeling.
I ran at top speed down Fifth Avenue and could feel sweat beads forming on my forehead. Any second now one was going to drop on—ew. There it went. Right on my nose.
I could see my prize getting smaller and smaller in the distance. If I could move a little faster I could catch it. Wait! It stopped! Thank goodness for New York traffic. I waved my arms wildly and almost hit a man walking past. I think he might have called me a twat but I couldn’t be certain. New Yorkers can be rather cranky.
How did this happen?
Well.
I suppose it’s best to back up a little bit.
The day started off enjoyable. Jennifer and I met up with another blog friend. She met us at Grand Central Station and treated us to breakfast. I felt relaxed. And full of the delicious French Toast that I ordered.
After breakfast it was time to ride the Subway to Battery Park in order to catch the ferry to see the Statue of Liberty.
Yes. The Subway.
Tom had warned me to avoid it. And I imagine my mother wished I would avoid it as the one time she visited New York, a man was masturbating behind her as she rode it.
We heard it was easy enough though. And it was. Nothing crazy happened. A guy didn’t come on while waving a gun in the air like what happened on an episode of Blue Bloods. No, it was calm. Relaxing even. I felt like a real New Yorker. I knew exactly what I was doing. Lalala.
At Battery Park we saw a gigantic line stretched out. My heart dropped. It was hot, a balmy 80 degrees and I already felt like I was melting. The line looked as though it went on forever. Nervously, I asked a worker if we had to wait in the line (please no, please no, please no) and he said we didn’t since we bought our tickets online.
So here’s a helpful tip if you are going to New York City: buy your Statue of Liberty tickets ONLINE to avoid the never ending lines.
Jennifer and I only had to wait in a small line. Granted, then we had to wait again for our ferry to come but that was okay.
The ferry ride took about 20 minutes and then we saw her.
The Statue of Liberty in all her green glory:
We went through the museum and then walked around. We couldn’t go on top. All those tickets were sold out. So another tip: if you want to go on top, buy tickets early.
Here’s when things got dicey.
We got in line to catch the 120 ferry back to Battery Park. This is because at 3, we had a Sex and the City tour.
The problem is, we didn’t get on the 120 ferry because it was full even though we got in line in plenty of time. Never underestimate groups of Indian people I suppose.
Anyway.
We missed that ferry and had to wait for the 150 one.
This meant that we were running late.
We didn’t get back to Battery Park until 230. Not good.
We decided to get a taxi since we weren’t sure the Subway route back. I waved my hands wildly in the air and at one point Jennifer was like, “What are you doing?” I thought I was hailing a taxi but instead it looked as though I had ants in my pants. Forgive me. I’m new to the city.
We eventually found a taxi. I behaved like a true New Yorker and barged in front of a group of men who tried to barge in front of ME for the taxi I saw pulling up.
“Ours!” I snapped and Jennifer and I got in. We gave the taxi driver the address and hoped for the best.
Problem is, Battery Park was like 20 minutes away from where we had to be.
When it got to 255, we were 5 minutes away. Jennifer called the company to let them know we were coming.
As the taxi pulled to our stop, we saw the tour bus in front of us. Yes! We had made it! We had—
Then the bus started to pull away.
“Shit!” I screamed, tumbling from the cab. I waved my arms manically in the air. “STOP!”
A few people gaped at me. Most didn’t pay attention. New Yorkers are used to the crazies, you see. I think a Japanese tourist took a photo of me. So if you have a Japanese friend and see a picture of an American girl waving her arms like she’s on fire, that’s me.
Jennifer and I began running down the street. And as I said in the beginning, this was not easy.
“I....wish...I...were...in...better...shape,” I gasped as I ran.
My side was screaming for me to stop. But I couldn’t stop. I paid $40 for the Sex and the City tour and I was going to get on that bus, dammit.
Only...
...the bus kept moving and my legs didn’t.
They basically died on me. They died on Jennifer, too. She eventually said, “I can’t run anymore.”
“Me either.” More sweat beads dropped off of me. Gross.
Thankfully the tour lady we had called gave us the address of the first stop of the tour. The Pleasure Chest. Where Charlotte bought her rabbit.
So we got another cab and gave the address. The driver seemed confused.
“Where is that?”
I guess tourists don’t ask to go to The Pleasure Chest often. What, don’t tourists have needs?
He had to look at Jennifer’s phone for a few seconds before he nodded and said he knew where it was.
Only he really didn’t, because he dropped us off on a street in Chelsea and drove off.
“Er…I think we’re 5 blocks away,” Jennifer said, staring at her phone.
More running?
Ugh.
It’s a good thing I’m done having children. With all the running I did, I’m sure I gave my uterus a terrible jostle to the point where nothing would want to ever grow in it again.
“I see the bus,” I said, after we had jogged for a few minutes. I shielded my eyes with my hand to make sure it wasn’t a mirage. Could it be? Was it really the bus? Did we make it after all?
“It is the bus!” Jennifer confirmed.
Then we noticed The Pleasure Chest and knew we had made it. Success! All the running paid off. I mean, sure, my feet probably had all sorts of disgusting blisters on them but it didn’t matter. We MADE IT!
The tour guide was expecting us. We stumbled onto the bus and took a seat as the tour guide pointed out places where the show was filmed.
We got to go to a place called Buska—baccakhan? I don’t remember. It was used when the two gay guys finally kissed on New Years. Their names escape me. And it was used again in the first movie when Carrie told Big, “This will be your last kiss to me as a single woman.” Something like that.
Yes. My face is bright red. Running around New York will do that to you.
We also got to go in the place where Aiden’s bar was. Scout. Only it’s really called something else. We got to have Cosmopolitans but they wanted 9 bucks for one. No thanks. So Jennifer and I just sat and tried to cool off.
The tour was okay. I mean, they gave us cupcakes. But I guess I was expecting…more?
Ahh well.
After that, we decided to go to FAO Schwartz. We had to walk 14 blocks because we couldn’t get a taxi. My feet were really pissed off at this point.
By the time we got to FAO Schwartz, a worker was like, “We’re closing!”
I didn’t even get to play on the piano! Or do obscene things with the guy dressed as a soldier.
It was a bummer, but oh well.
I did get a photo with the Plaza Hotel in the background:
Bette Midler and Lily Tomlin looked out those windows in Big Business! Yes, I’m a nerd.
We went to Serendipity for dinner and dessert:
This is the famous frozen hot chocolate:
And this is the coward’s portion of the Banana Split:
I know what it makes you think of. A Viking hat, right?
Our last stop that day was the bar on top of our hotel. I ordered a mojito and it seemed to take awhile for my drink to come. Jennifer suggested we take photos and I assumed we were pouting because our drinks were taking so long:
Um. A little miscommunication.
But I wanted my MOJITO, dammit.
The next day we returned home.
I miss the city. Yeah, it’s crowded. But people move quickly. I love it.
Someday I’ll go back.
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