Wickles Pickles and Yellow Boxes....Two of Life's Great Moments!

In the past couple of months I have received several comments about stuff I talked about....mainly Yellow Boxes and Wickles Pickles.  So, I decided today that I would post about both of them.  Wickles Pickles will be my first venue.  I love the things.  They are, as they claim, wickedly delicious and made right here in Alabama....in the county seat of Tallapoosa Co.  How cool is that.    Let me tell you a little bit about the pickles and how they came to be.  The owners, using a secret 70-year old family recipe, began to make a pickle that differentiates it from all others. The pickles are a custom blend of spices and ingredients that makes them Wickedly Delicious and truly irresistible. The recipe is a family secret that until a few years ago was just used for family and friends who were lucky enough to get a jar. When they started making Wickles for holiday gifts they never imagined those wicked little pickles would take on a life of their own.  Those lucky enough to get a jar as a gift....were kind enough to  share Wickles with their friends, and soon people from all over were calling the Wickles people to see where they might get some. Come on guys, they should have known it would happen, because Wickles add an exciting new taste to everything from Thanksgiving dinner to Saturday sandwiches. Wickles Pickles are produced by the Sims Foods and they continue to research and develop new products to add to the product line and will be rolling out additional products on a regular basis.  Want to order some?  What to know more?  Check out the Wickles Website.  I promise you won't be sorry.
Now on to the second thing I love....Yellow Box Sandals.  I went to Italy one year with my friend Mary and Marian and Marian walked all over Italy in a pair of Yellow Boxes....I trudged with heavy tennis shoes the first few days....then borrowed a pair of the delightful sandals from Marian and walked the rest of Italy on a cloud of comfort.  I am a South Florida native and grew up in flip flops.....and love the things.  My motto is you can never have too many....and I don't.  Yellow box sandals just added depth to my world of flip flops.  I don't wear the high heeled ones.  I wear the flatter ones.  I am klutzy and would fall in anything higher than 2 inches.  If I didn't fall....I would get a nose bleed for sure.  Check out the Yellow Box site and I promise...if you ever wear a pair....you won't go back.  Happy Thursday!  I think I am going to head home from work now and put on my Yellow Boxes and eat a Wickles Pickle. 

I Don't Iron

Proof that I’ve never ironed a day in my life....




Natalie thought the ironing board she got for her birthday was a bed.

Mary Kay Makeover

Guess which one is a lie.

I’ve been known to have Little Debbie snacks for breakfast

I’m a makeup expert

I hate word verification with a passion

I cry during The Neverending Story. The poor horse!


If you guessed that the makeup expert one was a lie, you are correct.

I went to a Mary Kay party over the weekend. I’m not really a huge fan of those parties where people try to sell me stuff and try to get me to become a consultant. That’s never going to happen. It’s just not for me. I can’t get excited over mascara. I just can’t.

I went because my friend Amanda needed more people. And because her husband offered to watch my kids. Look, I’ll sit through anything if it means I get kid free time. I’ll even sit in a math class, and I detest math. I’d probably be sitting there with a wide smile on my face and would nudge my neighbor while saying, “Isn’t this great?” She’d answer, “Is what great? Math? No, it’s shit,” and I’d say, “No. Being in a room without children!” And then she’d scoot far away from me.

Still. I don’t get a lot of kid free time since Tom has been gone. He’s been gone for seven months so I’m desperate for it. Yes, I do get a couple hours in the morning alone since Tommy is in school and Natalie is in preschool…but it seems like the time is over before I know it.

Anyway, the Mary Kay party was…interesting. I had to fill out a paper about my skin and my face shape. I was asked what I used to moisturize and honestly, sometimes I forget to put cream on my face at night. This means my skin is going to look leathery and droopy when I’m older but some nights I can’t be bothered. I had no clue what my face shape was. I was tempted to write, “Face-like?” but wasn’t sure if the host of the party would get my humor. Probably not. (And I was also asked to explain my lip shape. I wanted to write, “Not like Angelina Jolie’s, unfortunately.)

We were told to try the samples she had put out in front of us. And they were nice, yes, but I found them overpriced. At one point I was asked to put on eyeliner and mascara and here’s the thing: I had a bad experience with those items. I almost poked my eye out with the mascara and I haven’t used it since. Same with the eyeliner. I felt like my eyeballs were more important than looking good.

So I explained this to the hostess, and she kept trying to explain it to me and I kept looking at her as though she just farted.

“You hold the mirror DOWN when you are doing your top lashes,” she instructed slowly because she could see she was dealing with a Person Who Knew NOTHING About Makeup.

My eyes kept having flashbacks on nearly being poked out so I couldn’t do it right. I ended up looking like a drunken raccoon even though the hostess was like, “You look great!”

Man, I need to get rich so I can afford a makeup artist.

We had to play a few games, which I hate. I pulled some Matchbox cars from a box and was asked what they symbolized about Mary Kay.

The only thing that came to mind was the fact that they hurt like a bitch when stepped on barefoot. But that wasn’t what the hostess wanted to hear. I said something like, “It means you don’t have to drive all over?” and she launched into the real meaning which was that you could get a Mary Kay car if you sold enough.

A car is nice, but still, no thanks. I don’t want to sell stuff.

I did buy some blush, because I liked how it looked on my cheeks. The hostess helped me put it on so I bet now when I try to do it myself, I’ll look like a clown.

I really need to get a makeup artist.

Help.

Hodgepodge - vol 20

Joyce came up with some more great questions for this week. I can't believe March is already (almost) over!  If you want to see what everyone else said....then hop over to her blog and check them out.

1. April rolls in at the end of this week and in celebration of that infamous date (April 1st) answer this question-What is something foolish you've done?
Got stuck climbing a coconut palm tree in a neighbors yard when I was younger.  My ankles locked up and I could not get down.  I got in so much trouble.
2. With April comes Easter and that classic edible treat known as Peeps...so tell me...what's your favorite way to fix/eat chicken? That wasn't what you were expecting, was it? I 'fooled' you. teehee.
Fried, grilled, baked, broiled.  The only way I don't like chicken is raw.
3. What's the best museum you've ever visited? Or your favorite? Or the one you'd most like to visit?
I too have visited The Holocaust Museum in DC.  I also love any and all of the Smithsonians.  The Guggenheim in New York was pretty cool as well...and Museum at Trinity College in Dublin....where the Book of Kells is housed.  I love museums.
4. You know what they say about April showers...what's your preference-a shower or a bath?
I like a shower for the convenience.  I love a bath when I want to destress.
5. "Absence makes the heart grow fonder"...fact or fiction? Why?
Fiction....because....out of sight...out of mind.  Nuff said?
6. What's your favorite product made/grown in your home state/province?
Wickles Pickles.  They are made in Dadeville, AL and they are wickedly delish.  If you can find them....try them.....they are so good. 
7. What is going on in the world today that affects you the most?
The skirmish going on in the Middle East has skyrocketed gas prices and since I drive an hour each way to work....that definitely affects me.  The Earthquake/Tsunami in Japan because I had ordered some Apple things for my classroom and they will be delayed for about 2 months.
8. Since MOST of you are either experiencing or have just experienced Spring Break....what is your best Spring Break memory?
I have two....I was in Ireland (Dublin to be exact) on St. Paddy's Day in 2009 during Spring Break.  It was awesome!  I was in Key West one year during Spring Break with Mary and Jo.  It was so much fun watching the sunset at Mallory Square and touring Key West.  Good times!

Have a happy Wednesday!

These Hands

I have told you all before that I have a thing about hands.  Hands have real character and you can tell alot about the caliber of a person by his/her hands.  Both of my parents have expressive hands and I have always loved the feel of holding their hands in my own.  My aunt Laverne(who has soft and comforting hands) sent me an email yesterday about hands and after reading it  I'll never look at my hands the same!
"Grandpa, some ninety plus years, sat feebly on the patio bench. He didn't move, just sat with his head down staring at his hands. When I sat down beside him he didn't acknowledge my presence and the longer I sat I wondered if he was OK. Finally, not really wanting to disturb him but wanting to check on him at the same time, I asked him if he was OK. He raised his head and looked at me and smiled. "Yes, I'm fine, thank you for asking," he said in a clear strong voice. "I didn't mean to disturb you, Grandpa, but you were just sitting here staring at your hands and I wanted to make sure you were OK," I explained to him."Have you ever looked at your hands," he asked. "I mean really looked at your hands?"  I slowly opened my hands and stared down at them. I turned them over, palms up and then palms down. No, I guess I had never really looked at my hands as I tried to figure out the point he was making.. Grandpa smiled and related this story:
"Stop and think for a moment about the hands you have, how they have served you well throughout your years. These hands, though wrinkled, shriveled and weak have been the tools I have used all my life to reach out and grab and embrace life. They put food in my mouth and clothes on my back. As a child my mother taught me to fold them in prayer. They tied my shoes and pulled on my boots. They have been dirty, scraped and raw, swollen and bent. They were uneasy and clumsy when I tried to hold my newborn [child].  Decorated with my wedding band (when my father wore one....before he nearly lost his hand in an accident involving the ring)  they showed the world that I was married and loved someone special.  They trembled and shook when I buried my parents and spouse and walked my daughter down the aisle. They have covered my face, combed my hair, and washed and cleansed the rest of my body. They have been sticky and wet, bent and broken, dried and raw. And to this day when not much of anything else of me works real well these hands hold me up, lay me down, and again continue to fold in prayer. These hands are the mark of where I've been and the ruggedness of my life. But more importantly it will be these hands that God will reach out and take when he leads me home. And with my hands He will lift me to His side and there I will use these hands to touch the face of Christ ." I will never look at my hands the same again. But I remember God reached out and took my Grandpa's [Daddy's] hands and led him home. When my hands are hurt or sore I think of Grandpa [Daddy]. I know he has been stroked and caressed and held by the hands of God. I, too, want to touch the face of God and feel His hands upon my face"
My hands look more and more like my parents hands and it makes me smile inside.  Even when they are not here with me for me to hold and caress their hands....I can look at my own and remember....remember that I too have hands that have done these things.

Hey, It's Okay Tuesday!

I got this idea from Glamour magazine. They have a section called Hey, It’s Okay and will list a bunch of things to be okay about. You're welcome to join in and do something like this on your diary. Doesn't have to be on a Tuesday either.

----------------------

To have been saddened by the news of Elizabeth Taylor’s passing.


To really enjoy music from The Decemberists.


To think it’s funny that Natalie really wants to go on the show Wipeout.


To be bummed that Steve Carell is leaving The Office. So long as John Krasinski stays, I’ll continue to watch.


To be ready for Spring weather. This means the snow can piss off.


To hate when magazines post photos of “affordable” fashion and one shirt is like 100 bucks. That’s not affordable fashion. Affordable fashion is a shirt for 10 bucks. I don't know about anyone else but I'd never spend 100 on one shirt. Or maybe that just makes me cheap.


To have cried throughout most of the latest Army Wives episode to the point where I was scaring the cat.


To look forward to that new show on Showtime starting Sunday called The Borgias. If you liked The Tudors, you’ll probably like this.


To get annoyed when someone in the drive thru line orders 10 different things, with specific instructions. “One burger, no lettuce or mayo, one chicken sandwich, no tomato, a soda mixed with sprite and coke..”


To think the yellow Peeps taste the best.

Tangled Review and Giveaway **CLOSED

**Winner announced here**

My daughter cannot wait for tomorrow to come.

Why?

Because that’s the day that Disney’s Tangled is released on DVD!

She’s been waiting (impatiently) for the movie to come out. We saw it in the theater and she instantly loved it. She now owns the following: Tangled pajamas, Tangled clothing, Tangled Barbies, a Tangled hairbrush…

Tangled, if you didn’t know, is a modern day tale of Rapunzel. You know, the chick with all the hair? If I had all that hair, I’d trip over it, mark my words. Anyway, Rapunzel is hidden away in a tower by her slighty freaky looking mother. One day Flynn Ryder, a handsome thief, climbs into the tower to escape his captors and well…chaos ensues. Hilarious chaos. The movie is filled with singing, dancing, and an amusing horse named Maximus (the boys will love him! My son was worried the movie was too girly but he admitted that Maximus the horse made it okay…)

Guess what? I have a Blu-Ray copy to give away.

Here are the features:

DVD
• 2 original storybook openings
• 50th Animated Countdown

2-Disc BD Combo Pack (BD+DVD)
• DVD features plus
• 3 deleted scenes
• The Making of a Fairy Tale
• 2 extended songs
• 9 Theatrical Teasers

Be sure to check out the awesome widget as well! It's a preview of the movie so you can see how hilarious it is. (Is it wrong that I find Flynn Ryder attractive? My husband has been gone too long..) You can also discover hidden talents that you might not be aware you even have. Maybe this means I'm a better cook than I think...

To be eligible to win the Blu-Ray copy of Tangled, please leave a comment telling me who your favorite Disney princess is. For an extra entry, leave me a comment telling me about one of YOUR hidden talents. Please leave the entries separate and make sure you leave your e-mail address if it's not connected to your blog.

Contest runs until April 6th! Good luck!

There Is Truly an Angel By My Side

Back in December I had the opportunity to see Francesca Battistelli and a host of other Christian performers in concert in Gatlinburg.  It was awesome.  Battistelli had just finished up with her newest album and it was scheduled to be released in Mid March....I thought I would never make it until this song was released....but as you can see.....I survived.  It is a gorgeous song and I thought I would start your Monday off with a little uplifting tune.  I don't know about where you are right now....but the weather is yucky here, I am a work, and I want to be home....curled up in my jammies, reading a good book.  I hate days like this.  We have two more weeks until Spring Break and I am not sure I am going to make it.  The wind is escaping from my sails.  I need some R & R where I can replenish all that I am missing.  Sigh!  "I think I can....I think I can!

Verse 1

I can't say that everything's okay

'Cause I can see the tears you're crying

And I can't promise to take the pain away

But you can know I won't stop trying

(Chorus)

I'll be the angel by your side

I will get you through the night

I'll be the strength you can't provide on your own

'Cause when you're down and out of time

And you think you've lost the fight

Let me be the angel

Verse 2

I know it feels like you're running out of faith

'Cause it's so hard to keep believing

But if I can bring a smile back to your face

If for a moment, you'll forget all about it

(Chorus)

'Cause this won't be the last time

Bridge

You'll need a little hope

But I want to be the first to let you know

(Chorus)

Happy Monday to all!

He Was Hurt?

Just letting you know I was in the ER today. I toar up my hand pretty bad in an exercise today but I am fine. I am soar but fine. Dont worry I will talk to you in the morning. I love you very much.



That was the message waiting for me on my Facebook page from Tom.

First of all, I find it amusing that he spells exercise right but not ‘tore’ or ‘sore.’ I love him and he’s intelligent it’s just, his spelling is....

....horrible. So it’s no wonder that Tommy is struggling with spelling. I checked over a paper he wrote and he spelled ‘enough’ as ‘enuf.’ And he got your and you're mixed up and I swear to you now, he won't be an adult who doesn't know the difference.

Honestly, the spelling wasn’t the first thing I noticed. I saw the word ‘ER’ and immediately pictured Tom with his face blown off and a knife coming out of his head—then I realized I was picturing an episode of Grey’s Anatomy and needed to chill.

Still. Why would he leave me a vague message like that? Why not send me a message explaining exactly what happened? Why leave me to panic? He knows I panic. He knows I picture the worst. He knows I have an OVERACTIVE IMAGINATION.

What if he did lose a body part?

What if his dog (he’s a K9 Handler) bit off his hand?

How did he tear up his hand to begin with?

WHY DID HE NOT GIVE ME MORE DETAILS!?

He’s lucky he doesn’t have a telephone in Korea. Otherwise I’d have called him up and demanded to know more information.

As it was, I had to wait hours until he came on Skype.

Was his hand half off?

So. Okay. He was doing an exercise. And somehow he tore up his hand. But how? He said he was fine, so that was good. Only..what if he said that so I wouldn’t panic? Maybe he’s missing an arm and didn’t want to alarm me by going, “Hi. I’ve lost an arm, but I’m okay.”

Finally, after what seemed like forever, Tom came online. I immediately called him over Skype and the second the camera clicked on I went, “I’d love you even if you only had one hand! Or no hands!”

I expected Tom to be moved and to stare back at me with only one arm intact. But no. He still had two. And he was looking at me as though I had a thong on my head.

“Amber, I didn’t lose a hand,” he began slowly as though speaking to a mental patient. Or Gary Busey.

“But your Facebook message—”

“Was just informing you that I tore up my hand. Not that I LOST it.” He lifted up both hands and they were both wrapped in a green bandage.

“Oh, my poor gimp!” I exclaimed.

“Gimp? Amber, it’s no big deal. We were in the middle of an exercise, my hand got caught on my gun, then my dog dragged me a little bit and—”

“You were DRAGGED?”

“I’m okay,” Tom insisted. “Just sore.”

“You could have explained all of that in a longer message,” I fumed. “How would you like it if I just left you a message saying, ‘I’m in the ER. Love you!’ That would be annoying, right?”

“I’d assume you were in there because you burned something in the kitchen,” Tom replied in a snarky tone.

Hmph. I shouldn’t have worried so much about him. He didn’t even CARE that I was in the ER..only I really WASN’T in the ER but still.

“I’m glad you still have both of your hands,” I said. “But I’d love you even if—”

Tom rolled his eyes. “My face blew off. Yes. I know. You’ve told me.”

“Well, it’s true. Just as I’m sure you’d love me if my face blew off.”

Tom made a face. “Why would your face blow off?”

I shrugged. “I don’t know. A cooking accident? A monkey pulled it off? Only in that case, it wouldn’t be blown off, it would be pulled off, which ew, now I’m feeling sick.”

“Okay, look, we’ll just both agree that we’ll love each other if we have no face. Now can we stop talking about this?” Tom begged.

“Sure.”

Isn’t it great though? Tom and I will love one another even without a face.

It’s sort of romantic.

In a creepy sort of way.

Project 365 - Week 13

It is week 13 of Project 365 and what a week it has been.  Sara over at ..make music from your heart has her links up and running so after you look at my pictures hop on over to her blog and check out some of the other photographers.  I can't wait to show you my week....so if you are ready...let's get started.

Sunday - March 20th

Sunday we had a wedding at church....after the service.  Mr. M.L. and Heather got married.  It was such a sweet ceremony and after the ceremony we went to fellowship hall for feasting and celebrating.  It was a glorious and fun day!  The weather was perfect.  After the party they went to Cheeha Mtn. in the Talledega National Forest for their honeymoon.  Cheeha is the highest point in Alabama (little note of interest there).



Monday - March 21st

Monday afternoon, before bible study, we had to prebowl.  Frank and I had tickets to see Anita Renfroe and Mandisa on Thursday night....so we bowled early.  The rack of four balls are just balls for two people.  Frank now has three of them.....they all do different things....and I have two....I just use one at a time.  I am very predictable.  I caught an action shot of Frank (flash off, of course).  He has such pretty form when he bowls....me on the other hand....not so much.  I had to show off and show you how well I did on the first two games....and how well Frank did on his first one.  The rest of the games....well....we don't need to discuss that.

Tuesday, March 22nd

I have been chomping at the bits to share today's pictures with you.  I went to Mrs. Shirley and Mr. Denny's house on Tuesday after I got home from school because some of her orchids were blooming and I had asked her to let me know so I could come and take pictures of them.  I don't know who was more delighted....me....or her.

 The sun was hitting this little lily suncatcher in her orchid room so I thought I would focus on it for a moment or two.  What a restful room.  I would spend all my time out there watching the flowers, reading, it was lovely.

This was my favorite orchid.  It was like she was posing just for me. Her petals were spread out just perfect and the light was hitting her just right.  How glorious orchids are.

 Shirley and Denny were so gracious to allow us to come in and invade their time while I enjoyed her orchids.

Shirley had just added a new fountain to her room.  It was seashells...another love Shirley and I share.  I love beach motif.  What a wonderful afternoon we had visiting in their home and sharing their beautiful stuff.  Thanks Shirley and Denny for a great visit. 

Wednesday, March 23rd

Ashley (top) and P.J.(bottom) are our next door neighbors and we adore them both.  They belong to Wayne and Amy.  Ashley has her learners permit....so watch out if you are in the Randlolph County area....another 15 year old is on the road!  All kidding aside, she seems to be doing very well with learning how to drive.  Amy still has all her hair.

Thursday, March 24th

We left Alex City heading to Montgomery and the quickest way to the East side is through Tallassee.  They have a lovely Welcome to Tallassee sign that sits in a great little park.  I was hoping some of the flowers would be blooming, but alas...they weren't...so all you got was the sign.

Friday, March 24th

Getting ready for the big yard sale on Saturday.  While Frank was at school, Savannah, Chris, Brian, Kat and I got most of the stuff out of the house and into the carport where we priced it for in the morning.  We agreed to all get there around 6:30 so we could get the tables all up, out, set....and ready for customers.  I got to sleep at the La Quinta about 11....and a phone call woke me up at 1.  It was a wrong number.  When my alarm went off a few hours later...I wanted to die.  Starbucks saved the day.  There is nothing like a good Caramel Machiatto to boast your energy level.

Saturday, March 25th

 Priced to sell.  The cute dishes went for 10.00.  The fruity platters went for 3.00 each.  The sale was to raise money for Kat and Brian's Moldova mission trip.

Frank and Kat sneaking a hug while we were getting the stuff out onto the driveway....and Frank was leaving for Huntingdon.  He was going to call us during his lunch break.

During a trip into the house for a break I opened the kitchen window and sneaked a couple of shots of the people shopping.  It was a fast and furious day.  I have never seen so many people at a yard sale....it was so fun.  The result was over 800.00 raised and Kat and Brian's trip is set.  Whooo Hooo!

Kat and Mandy at the end of the day.  Everything we didn't sell had been packed up and disposed of....and we were all zonked.  You can tell both of them are young....they have been up since before daylight and still look fresh and beautiful.  Me....that is a different story....and why I am behind the camera!

It was dark by the time we got the sign changed and the bulletins done.  When we got back to Rock Mills....we made an appearance at a beautiful 40th wedding anniversary party in our fellowship hall, did the bulletins, changed the sign, ran to Wal-mart for sodas...came home and watched Yogi Bear on TV.   It was a cute movie.  If you haven't seen it and like a good clean movie, then it is your choice.  I am glad I did not pay to see it at the theater.  I would have hated to pay that much for it....but then I am a tightwad when it comes to stuff like that.  Most of the time I would rather just watch it on DVD at home.  We were rudely awaken by the storm siren around midnight.  Randolph County was under a tornado warning.  This morning it is gray and rainy.....but...God made sure yesterday was beautiful for that yard sale.  Have a blessed day!

Moldova Here They Come

Frank had class in Montgomery this weekend and I went with him to help Kat and Brian with their yard sale.  My daughter and her husband are going on a mission trip this summer to Moldova to work in an orphanage...and just love on some kids.  They have raised an insane amount of money each for this trip and today put them over the top.  They had a yard sale...with stuff many of their friends and church members donated.  They raised over 800.00 and I am so proud....whipped...but proud.  We got there at 6:15 this morning after having worked until after 9 last night....to find they had almost everything already out.  THEY had been up since 4:30.  By 7 this morning...we were rolling right along.  I slipped inside about that time and caught a couple of pictures of what their yard looked like...through the kitchen window.  I was amazed at how generous people were with what they bought...once they found out what it was for....and with their donations....Kat and Brian have good friends.  Several of their friends showed up to work.  Mandy, was our organizer...and what an organizer she is....she dug in boxes...put stuff out as tables began to clear...so it always looked like we had a good supply of stock.  Chris, was our money man.  He made change and kept the count going.  Brian, Kat, Savannah, Chrissie and I worked the sale.  I am beat.  This is too much for the over 50 one here.  Those young ones are still going strong.

6:15 from the road...looking up their driveway.  Lots of stuff...and we were still bringing it out.

Kat and Frank sneaking a hug before he left for class and after he had helped Brian bring out the three recliner chairs.

 Some of the stuff we had to sell.  Are these the cutest dishes ever?  We even had a service of 6 set of Vintage Nortake china...Water Lily pattern....we finally sold it about 10:30....for 30.00

 Kat and Mandy standing in the kitchen....

Throught the kitchen window after the signs were put out.....again!

They just kept coming.....it was amazing!

There was something for everyone....that was for sure.   I am so glad to see their dream of this mission trip come to fruition....and to have played a small part in it.  They have been working like dogs since they decided they had been called to make this trip.  Please pray for them as they begin to ready themselves spiritually and as they travel to do God's work in the mission field.  There are many hurting people in this world. That is why Jesus instructed His disciples to go out into all the world and tell the Good News to every person (Mark 16:15). As you share God's love with those around you, the Lord will use you to help make His love a reality in other people's lives.  Kat and Brian will be doing just this.  I am one proud mama.

Return of the Dunkaroos

“I don’t want to sit, I don’t like to sit, sitting is BAD!” Natalie informed me as I struggled to get her into the Wal-Mart shopping cart. She started off kicking and then she went limp, which made her thirty pound frame feel like it was 100 pounds. If I exercised and lifted weights, this wouldn’t be a problem. As it is, I don’t exercise or lift weights, so I almost fell to the floor.

God. We were going to end up on peopleofwalmart.com, weren’t we?

“Natalie,” I said through clenched teeth. Shoppers passed us and a few frowned in our direction.

“What? Do you think you can do any better?” I shouted. Well. Not really. I just thought it.

Supernanny Jo Frost’s voice popped in my head. “Am-bah. You’re allowing Natalie to dictate what she will and will not do. That is NOT good parenting.”

Ahh hush, Jo. You’re from a place that makes something to eat called a Spotted Dick.

Still. I had to show Natalie who was boss.

“Natalie,” I said firmly. “You will go into the cart. I’m tired and cranky and want to get this shopping trip over with so I can go to Sonic. Okay?”

Natalie scowled at me.

“If you would actually stay with me, I’d let you walk on your own. But you like to run off and Mommy is too hungry for cardio. You can sit in the basket of the cart instead of the front. Deal?”

Natalie believes she’s above sitting in the front of the cart. She’s believed this since she was two.

“Ohhhh-kay,” Natalie reluctantly agreed.

Finally.

Look, there are some things that I just know about myself. They are the following:

A) I’m not smarter than a fifth grader

B) The chick who sings that Friday song has an annoying nasally voice that reminds me of Urkel’s from Family Matters

C)I’m perfectly fine with having ice cream for dinner

D)I have very little patience

Now, my patience has grown a bit since having kids, but not much. I am who I am and patience doesn’t magically come when you have children. You either have it, or you don’t.

I really don’t.

Want to know what my first reaction is when my kids won’t listen to me?

To curse. A lot. To scream, “I’ve motherfu*king had it with your behavior!”

Now, clearly that’s not appropriate. So what I’ve learned to do is take deep breaths and keep my temper in check.

“I don’t like this cart,” Natalie informed me as I started my shopping at the circus known as Wal-Mart. Where else will you spot a woman in spandex or a man with neon green hair talking to his box of Wheaties?

“You have to stay in it for awhile longer,” I explained as I quickly gathered what I needed. With kids and husbands, you have to hurry and get the shopping done. Otherwise they’ll start to whine. I’m perfected the Quick Shop.

“Blah,” Natalie responded, slumping down. She reminded me of a caged animal who has admitted defeat.

“I want a toy,” Natalie told me primly as though she expected me to bow down and go, “Of course. And you shall have one.”

Instead I went, “I want a tummy tuck and a bit of liposuction.”

“Goshhh,” Natalie sniffed. I imagine she’s going to be even more annoyed with my quips as she gets older. For instance, when she says she’d like a car, I’ll say, “I’d like my boobs lifted. You did a number on them.” Or when she’s like, “I NEED the fifty dollar shirt, everyone ELSE has one,” I’ll say, “I feel I NEED an iPad 2 but unfortunately, money doesn’t rain down on us like it does on Donald Trump.”

I was nearly done with my shopping when I spotted the blue box from the corner of my eye. I didn’t think much of it because A) I was rushing and B) Natalie was begging me for Super Mario fruit snacks and I told her no, she couldn’t have them because she had THREE other shapes of fruit snacks already and she was displaying hoarder behavior and it was making me nervous.....

Wait. The blue box looked familiar....it....it...

“Holy crap. Dunkaroos!” I shouted, interrupting Natalie’s whining. I even blogged about Dunkaroos before. Twice. I wrote how I was bummed that I couldn’t find them anymore. And there they were, at Wal-Mart.




“Dunkaroos!” I said again, rushing towards the box. A man was beside it and he did a double take when he saw a twenty-something mother rushing at him. “It is Dunkaroos. I’m not seeing things!” I grabbed the box and hugged it to me. The man took a couple steps away.

“I’m not crazy,” I told him. “It’s just, I haven’t seen these in YEARS.”

“Uh, okay,” the guy said and hurried away.

I scared him off.

But I didn’t care. I had Dunkaroos again.

I might be on peopleofwalmart.com. I’m the one in baggy jeans and oversized t-shirt hugging the box of Dunkaroos.

The Dunkaroos made the aggravating shopping trip worth it.

(And yes, I’ve eaten the entire box already. No, I did not share.)

Girls Night Out Plus Frank

Last night I was blessed with a girl's night out.  I shared it with some of my favorite peeps.  Kat got tickets for Frank, Susan, Kim, and I to see Mandisa and Anita Renfroe at Vaughn Park Baptist Church in Montgomery with her and some of her peeps....one of them being my sweet Sharifa.  The show opened with Anita Renfroe sharing her antics to an audience of primarily women, about women.  She finished her set with my favorite song she does....and I thought I would let you enjoy it too:

Now any of you who are from the south can really relate to this song.  Even I, the one who does not drink sweet tea, love the song.  Many of you might remember Anita Renfroe from her You Tube mom video that circulated through emails a year or so ago.

Even Frank, one of the few men there, laughed til I thought he was going to cry.  I think he realized that his wife....was this womans soul sister.  Many of her stories and antics are about me....she just does not know it.  After Anita Renfroe quit her portion of the show, Mandisa came out and heated the place up with her energy and powerful voice.  She opened with Stronger from her new album and then right into Shackles.  Needless to say, I was pumped.

Frank and I left after the intermission.  It is about 2 hours back to Roanoke and I still have bus duty one more day this week.  Needless to say....this morning....I am dragging.......but it was worth it.  If you get a chance to see either of them....GO!  Do not hesitate to buy a ticket....you won't regret it.  Thanks Kat for getting these for us.  I loved the evening, the company, and the entertainment.  It Rocked!

A Proverbs 31 Woman - Are You One?

A man was walking along a California beach and stumbled across an old lamp. He picked it up, rubbed it - and out popped a genie. The genie said, “Ok. You released me from the lamp .. blah, blah. This is the 4th time this month and I’m getting a little sick of these wishes, so you can forget about 3. You only get one wish.” The man thought about it for a while and said, “I’ve always wanted to go to Hawaii, but I’m scared to fly and I get very sea sick. Could you build me a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over there to vacation?” The genie laughed and said, “That’s impossible. Think of the logistics of that feat! How would the supports ever reach the bottom of the Pacific ocean? No, think of another wish.” The man thought about it and said, “I’ve been married and divorced 4 times. My wives always said that I don’t care and that I’m insensitive. So, I wish that I could understand women .. to know how they feel and what they’re thinking.”  The genie said, “You want that bridge with 2 lanes or 4?” If you have ever read Proverbs 31:10-31 then you knew what kind of man my father was. My mom has flaws…heck we all do….but in my father’s eyes…my mom was a perfect 10. My dad could always find something praise-worthy, and he would give praise. Phil 4:8 ends by saying, “if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, let your mind dwell on these things.” If you can praise your wife, your mother, anyone .. for anything, you should. And he taught me how to do the same. I grew up praising my mom .. my grandmother .. my aunt .. or any woman in the church, for any of these virtuous qualities she possesses. (Somewhere along the line I forgot that lesson.)  My Dad believed that there were 12 qualities that were praise-worthy in a woman when you find them and tried to instill them in me as a child. The first one is found in verse 11 - “The heart of her husband trusts in her.” My dad totally trusted my mom. That is a rare trait these days. It is a good feeling to be trusted by someone. My mom had a quirky 6th sense. You could ask her to do something….and she would just wait for you to finish and says, “I already took care of it.” She was amazing. I never feared that my dad would leave my mom….because they were so committed to each other. My father never bad mouthed my mom or talked about her behind her back. Ype, the trust they had was vital. In verse 12 - “She does him good .. all the days of her life.” My mom always built my dad up. Second, if a wife does you good all the days of her life, that means she is a close companion to you. Hey, an excellent wife .. an excellent mother .. is also an excellent companion and my dad loved to spend time with her. Good COMPANIONSHIP is worthy of praise. That lesson I learned. I love spending time with Frank. Thanks guys for instilling that one in me. Verse 13 tells us - “She works with her hands.” This concept is repeated several times in the proverb. In vv. 13, 19, 24 - we catch several images of the mother who sews to meet her family needs. In vv. 14, 15 - we’re reminded that Mom does the grocery shopping and then takes time to cook as well. The proverb even reminds us that women often work outside of the home. Verse 16 talks about their “earnings” and v. 24 talks about her “selling merchandise.” My mom had this one under control. When I was small….I was fortunate that it was the June Cleaver era and my mom was the best SAHM ever. She always took care of my brother and I and I had a great childhood because of it. But then I am also a bit ashamed as an adult. As I think back I wonder when or if I ever thanked her because she sewed a button on your shirt, mended a torn pair of pants, cooked you dinner, or earned some additional income for the family? Verse 27 says, “She does not eat the bread of idleness. Praise the HARD WORKING woman who goes the extra mile. That was my mom.  Verse 15 says, “She rises also while it is still night.” v. 27 says, “She looks well to the ways of her household.” My mom was the one who got up in the middle of the night and took care of the sick, the newborn, the crying, the scared. Anything…except those things dealing with frogs. My mom was terrified of frogs. Lunches were always fixed and breakfast was always waiting. My poor daughter….she would have to suffice with a Pop Tart and splitting a Diet Coke. Verse 16 says, “She considers a field and buys it.” That doesn’t just speak to her willingness to work. It speaks to her wisdom. Verse 26 even says, “She opens her mouth in wisdom.”  In verse 20 we are told that, “She extends her hand to the poor, and she stretches out her hands to the needy.” How blessed I was that my Mom was a loving person, not just towards me, but also towards people in the community. Her good deeds become known to all - causing the entire community to speak well of her - and consequently of me too. It’s a blessing to know that people speak highly of her - even when she’s not present. It always made me so proud when people said wonderful things about my mom….and my dad. Verse 21 says, “She is not afraid of the snow for her household, For all her household are clothed with scarlet.” Mom is always prepared. . Just look at some of those purses they carry around! My mom had it all!....even in a small envelope purse….she had everything I ever needed. Verse 22 says, “She makes coverings for herself; Her clothing is fine linen and purple.” This is where I am ashamed. My mom was a fabulous seamstress….and I was a selfish child who wanted something store bought. I wanted to be like everyone else….not wear homemade…or hand me down. I wish my mom could sew today….I promise you I would wear it with pride….even inside out so you could read the “Made with Love by Wilma” label. Verse 23 says, “Her husband is known in the gates, When he sits among the elders of the land.” You know what that means? It means she makes you look good! And it may be in spite of the fact that you’re a jerk anyway. In verse 25 it says, “she smiles at the future.” Oh, how pleasant it is to have a Mom in the house who isn’t always worried and fretting about everything - but instead is optimistic about what life has ahead of her. That was my mom until my brother died….and she changed. That was where I forgot my lessons. That was where my life became darker. Verse 26 says, “the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.” My mom and dad both were the kind of people who spoke with kindness, they were teachers of kindness. I am grateful for all the lessons I learned…even though I may not have retained some. I am grateful that they took time to be part of my life…..taught me right from wrong, taught me acceptable behavior….I wish I could let them know that today. I wish parents today were teaching their children those lessons today.
There’s an old proverb that says, “Flowers leave their fragrance on the hand that bestows them.” A poem written about it says this:

This old Chinese proverb if practiced every day

Would change the whole world in a wonderful way.

Its truth is so simple it’s so easy to do

And it works every time and successfully too.

For you can’t do a kindness without a reward

Not in silver nor gold but in the joy from the Lord.

You can’t light a candle to show others the way

Without feeling the warmth of that little ray.

And you can’t pluck a rose all fragrant with dew,

Without part of its fragrance remaining on you.

My mom loved getting flowers….but not the cut kind. She loved living plants that she could plant in our backyard. My dad was great about giving her plants.

My mom also loved the handful of weeds that my brother and I would pick. My mom attributed flowers with love. As the proverb says, the hand that gives the flowers also receives a blessing. Give some flowers to someone special today. It will make their day and yours too. I want to remember those lessons I learned as a child....and be the best Proverbs 31 woman I can be?  How about you?  Happy Thursday!



Inside Natalie's Closet

Occasionally I’ll do a post where I’ll share an outfit in Natalie’s closet since I love to go clothes shopping for her.

This one is from Gymboree and she wore it for her birthday. I loved it. They have number shirts up to 5.

Oh, and Natalie insists that her hair be in braids these days. That’s why her hair is always the same in pictures. I try to do pigtails or just leave it down and this insults her greatly. So braids it is.




“No pictures,” Natalie informed me.

“Oh, well, okay, guess I’ll put the camera away,” I answered. I started to go inside.



“WAIT! I’ll do pictures,” Natalie said sweetly.



Have I mentioned her moods change in an instant?

Although Tom would point out that my moods can also change in an instant. He claims one minute I’m cheerful and the next I’m telling him to pick up his dirty socks or else I’ll stuff them down his throat. I don’t call that changing moods, I call that wanting to avoid dirty socks.

Anyway.

I ran into the house and got Natalie to smile:











Then she asked if she could watch Yo Gabba Gabba and I said no, because the show scares me and I can only take one episode per day.



Natalie called me rude.

She quickly got over it when she found a leaf.





I’m glad the little things amuse her. Me too. For instance, if animals make a funny noise I’ll probably laugh about it for ten minutes. Like there was a goose on the side of the road, and it suddenly honked and I found this downright hilarious.

“Say goodbye to the blog readers!” I pressed.

And she did this: