I Cannot Co-Sleep

I opened my eyes and jumped.

Natalie was right in front of my face. I could see her outline in the darkness and was not amused.

"I scared you, Mommy," she said cheerfully. "I got right in front of you."

"I see that. It's not a wise thing for you to do," I explained. My reflex might have been to punch. I do not deal well with sudden happenings.

Of course, the fact that she was in my room was a sudden happening.

We are at the beach and stay at a rented condo. The kids have their own room and I have another. But Natalie kept torturing Tommy the first night: jumping on him, tugging on his feet, asking a million questions. It got to the point where he was in tears. He knows he cannot strike his sister so all he can do is sit and take it while frustration builds. So I removed Natalie and put her in with me, since Tom isn't here. (She was insulted that I took her away. "Tommy will miss me!" she insisted. "No I won't! Not at all," Tommy promptly responded.)

I do not co-sleep.

I have never co-slept.

I don't look down on those who co-sleep but it is not, will not, ever be for me.

This was reiterated when I plucked Natalie down on the bed. Now, there were two twin beds in the room so we weren't sharing a bed at least. But she was still in my space. I'm of the firm belief that children belong in their own rooms. The evening is when I get MY time. Downtime. Kid free time.

Natalie was not making my life easy.

She tried to frighten me.

She began asking questions.

"What is your favorite My Little Pony? Mine is Rainbow Dash. Or maybe Pinkie Pie. Who is your favorite Disney princess? Mine is Rapunzel but I do like them all. Why do you have hair on your toes? That's gross. Why can't you swim very well? I thought adults were supposed to know how to swim."

And on. And on. And on.

At this point it was 11. My daughter is a night owl. I normally don't mind because she's in HER room entertaining herself.

"It's bedtime," I reminded her for what seemed like the millionth time. "We can talk in the morning."

"You won't though. You say you need time to wake up," Natalie pouted.

"I'll tell you when it's a proper time to converse, I promise."

Silence.

I thought, "Yes, she's asleep!"

Then, "Mommy? Sometimes kids fart at school."

"It's BEDTIME!"

I shut my eyes. I was about to drift off and then....*shuffle shuffle shuffle* Natalie couldn't get comfortable on her bed. And it squeaked. So I'd hear, "Eeee eeee eee," and I think she figured this out too because she kept making the bed "talk."

"Natalie! Please hold still," I begged. "I'm very tired."

Silence.

"Eeee. Eee. Eee."

I seriously was close to depositing her out in the hall. I could throw out some blankets and pillows and lie and say it was a privilege to sleep in the hall. But no, that would be mean, wouldn't it? Still. She wasn't BEING QUIET.

It was probably around midnight when Natalie went still. The good news is that because she stays up so late, she sleeps in until 930-10. Yes, I will have to correct her sleep when school begins but during the summer I'm pretty lax.

We leave the beach tomorrow. By then I'll have shared my room for 5 days.

I am very much looking forward to having my own room and my own bed again.

Co-sleeping.

It's not for me.