Wednesday, July 13, 2011

My Dear Letters

Guess what?

I fly home tomorrow!

This means I can get caught up with Big Brother. My parents refuse to watch such nonsense and Dad even said when a commercial came on for it, "You don't really watch that, do you?" Yes, Dad, sorry. Your daughter likes watching grown adults behave like hooligans.

I don't have much else to write about so I'll do My Dear Letters. These are letters I wish I could send.

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Dear Oklahoma,

Stop being so hot. Are you trying to show off? If so, you made your point. 15 days of being over 100 degrees? That's enough.

Signed,
A-Rather-Not-Sweat-All-Over,
Amber


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Dear Toddlers and Tiaras,

You still frighten me. Little girls should not know how to move better than I can.

Signed,
A-Slightly-Traumatized,
Amber

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Dear One Day book,

I did not like your ending. Please change into something cheerful.

Signed,
A-Doesn't-Like-Crying-While-Reading,
Amber

PS--Please let the movie be as good as the book.


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Dear Hugh Hefner,

I'm glad you're not dead.

Signed,
A-Doesn't-Like-Hoaxes,
Amber

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Dear Vaguebookers,

Stop posting things like, "I'm so sad," on your Facebook unless you plan on explaining WHY you are so sad. I'm nosy and want to know what's going on. Don't tease.

Signed,
An-incredibly-nosy,
Amber

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Dear Airplane That I'm Flying On Tomorrow,

Please get us to Oklahoma safely. No turbulance. And no annoying people seated around us, ie, the people who like to lean their seats all the way back. Natalie would poke their eyes out if they dared.

Signed,
A-Personal-Space-Applies-On-Planes-Too,
Amber

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Dear Melting Pot,

Why do you have to be so good? I pigged out when I ate with my mom there today. But how can I stop myself when the desserts look like this:



Seriously.

If there is a Melting Pot near you, go. If anything, just get the dessert.

Signed,
A-I'd-Be-Happy-If-The-Melting-Pot-Wanted-To-Pay-Me-In-Free-Food-To-Review-Them,
Amber

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