American Idol Came To Oklahoma

The first thing I noticed was all the cars.

Where did all these cars come from?

Why were they all here?

I checked the time. A little after noon. Crap. Lunchtime.

Still.

Why was the BX parking lot so full? Weren’t we in a recession? How could all these people afford to eat in the food court? Did no one eat at home anymore? Or in their office?

I circled the parking lot again. There weren’t even spots in the back.

Then I got dramatic.

“Who are all these people?” I boomed.

I knew this base was busier than the last one I was at. But still. To have no parking spots in the very back was ridiculous.

I eventually found a spot in the commissary section. In the very back.

“It’s too hot to walk,” Natalie grumbled as I unbuckled her. “It’s too hot to walk TODAY!”

Well, technically, it’s been too hot to walk any day. Oklahoma has been over 100 degrees for nearly 30 days now.

We hurried over to the BX, walked inside and...almost collided with a bunch of people. There was a line snaked around the BX. In the entrance I could see something set up and a bunch of cameras going off every few seconds.

“Must be someone like Burt Reynolds,” I mumbled. I stood on my tip toes to try and get a better look. Maybe it was cast members from The Office. Or…or…The Tudors. Why they’d be on a military base is beyond me but I wouldn’t question their motives.

“American Idol,” Tommy said behind me.

“You want to go on American Idol? I think you’re too young,” I said, distracted. I was still trying to figure out what was going on.

“No. It’s American Idol.” Tommy pointed to the front and I noticed the American Idol sign followed by Meet the American Idols. Or the Top 10 American Idols. Something like that.

My heart sank.

“Oh.” Then it lifted. Maybe Simon Cowell was here! I love Simon Cowell even though he’d totally make me cry. Then my heart sank again. Simon no longer judged the show. Damn.

We were able to squeeze into the BX but seriously, there were people everywhere. Some lady screamed in my ear. Over American Idol contestants. A tween’s elbow went into my cheek as she lifted her cell phone to take a picture. Someone else smelled like BO.

“It’s like New York in here,” Tommy said, awestruck. He gazed around the room in astonishment. He’s never been to New York but he’s seen a lot of movies about it.

“I don’t like it,” Natalie grumbled.

I didn’t either. I would have just turned around and come back the next day. But I needed lawn mower oil. I had to mow our backyard. Tom was supposed to do it before he went back to Korea but the movers didn’t get the mower to us in time. So that left me to deal with it. And because Tom had to drain all the gas and oil, that also left me trying to figure it all out.

Have I mentioned I don’t do well with machinery?

And it didn’t help that Tom was just like, “Just put the oil where the mower says oil and put the gas where it says gas.”

It’s really not that simple.

For one, these were my choices of lawn mower oil:




Which one did I need? The 2 or 4 cycle? Tom didn’t specify. He just said “oil.” And I couldn’t exactly call and ask him which one I needed.

“Shit,” I mumbled. I stared at the oil as if hoping one of them would be like, “I’m the one you need!”

I picked up a bottle and pretended I knew what I was doing. Maybe one of the American Idol people knew.

I ended up with the 4 cycle oil because it said for lawn mowers on the front. Is that right? I haven’t even tried it yet because it’s been too hot.

Really, TOM SHOULD HAVE SPECIFIED.

Then I had to go back to the mayhem and buy the oil. The crowd was still crazy. Out of sheer curiosity, I took a picture of the American Idol people.



I have no clue who they are. James Durbin is the one with the beard, I think. But I don’t follow the show.

I’d have preferred the cast of The Office.