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Dear Tom,
Do you want to know that that is?
It’s a muffin.
Well, it was a muffin, before your daughter completely destroyed it. I’m really not sure what her rationale was. All I know is when I left the room, it was a perfectly delicious chocolate muffin. When I came back, it was mush. She didn’t even seem apologetic. She just said, “I made it fun.” Actually, she did NOT make it fun, she made it a mess. There were crumbs all over the couch and the floor that I had JUST vacuumed.
While I was cleaning that up, your daughter wandered into the kitchen. I should have known better to leave her there but I was just happy to not have her hanging onto my leg as I cleaned. But then I realized that she did this:
Those are empty egg shells that Natalie got out of the TRASH. The TRASH, Tom. Did she just think, “Lalala, I think I’ll rummage through the garbage and put my treasure in the fridge?” I really wouldn’t know, because she didn’t tell me. She just said, “I made eggs.”
I know you think Natalie can do no wrong, but I’m here to tell you that she does LOTS of wrong throughout the day.
And I’m pretty sure she called me a rude name the other day.
She looks all innocent and sweet when you see her on Skype, but Tom, she has a different side to her. A sinister one.
As I write this, she’s trying to eat a crayon so I better go.
I am counting down the days until you are home.
I love you,
Amber
PS—No Tom, I haven’t been allowing Natalie to watch Spongebob. She watches Dora and Yo Gabba Gabba and yes, the shows are annoying but at least she learns lessons from them whereas thanks to Spongebob, she now thinks snails meow like a cat.
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