In keeping with my song of the week theme for this week. I really struggled to find a Wednesday song. I found Simon and Garfunkles Wednesday Morning 3 a.m. but it just did not have what I was looking for. I feel like Wednesday sets the whole tone for my week. If I make it til Wednesday and survive the day it is downhill the rest of the week. I don't know why I think that way because I really don't have a bad day during a week that is consistant. I love Monday...because it is a beginning and Bible Study with the girls. I love Monday night Bible Study. Tuesdays are good days too...Wednesday is Praise Band practice and I get so excited when I think that I get to sing with Rhonda, Blue, Billy and the band. It keeps my day uplifted knowing that it is coming. Thursday during the fall I usually bowl with Frank and that is kind of our night to do something we both enjoy together....although this year I am thinking about bowling on the Women's league which is on Tuesday nights. Friday in the fall is Wildcat football...Saturday is the beginning of the weekend and Sunday is my day of Worship...and my favorite day of the entire week. So doing this song a day week...has been kind of fun for me. Number one it has challenged me to step out of my music comfort zone and research songs. Number two...it is music...and we all know how much music rules my world. How many people do you know who plan whole trips...with music to choreograph it. Yep...that is me. When I drove across the turnpike from Stockbridge to Boston...I was jamming to James Taylor's "Sweet Baby James." Yes...Music does sooth my savage beast....and today I want to share a song I discovered during my research...I am not a big fan of Lisa Loeb...but I do like this song...and I hope you enjoy it too! Happy Wednesday!
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Good Bye Ruby Tuesday....
I know...bet you thought the Ruby Tuesday we have here in good ole Alex City was closing....nope...not that I know of. I am on a days of the week kick. I have challenged myself to see if I can come up with a song that has every single day of the week in the title and song itself. Monday would have been Monday, Monday...but I got side-tracked by the roller derby queen on my hall. You are probably wondering where this crazy idea came from....well it came from a poem I read on Sunday. It is one you all probably know...or at least have heard in your lifetimes. "Monday's Child is one of many fortune-telling songs, popular as nursery rhymes for children. It is supposed to tell a child's character or future based on the day they were born." I hope that is not true...because if it is...my day is dreary. I was born on a Thursday. Anyways...the poem goes like this:
So with that sweet little poem in mind...I began looking for songs of the week and today's song just happens to be one of my favorite songs(I know you are probably thinking, since I talk about music a lot...griefus...is there any song she does not consider to be her favorite?)...I especially love the version of Ruby Tuesday that the Corrs do. It was recorded live in Dublin, and we all know how much I love Dublin. I think I should have been born a Dubliner...or maybe I was one in my past life. All kidding aside I really hope you enjoy it as much as I do. Happy Tuesday....I am off to research Wednesday songs. Can you think of one? So far the only one I have found is a scary sounding one. Bet you are just dying to see what I come up with tomorrow huh?
Monday's child is fair of face,
Tuesday's child is full of grace,
Wednesday's child is full of woe,
Thursday's child has far to go,
Friday's child is loving and giving,
Saturday's child works hard for a living,
But the child who is born on the Sabbath Day
Is bonny and blithe and good and gay.
So with that sweet little poem in mind...I began looking for songs of the week and today's song just happens to be one of my favorite songs(I know you are probably thinking, since I talk about music a lot...griefus...is there any song she does not consider to be her favorite?)...I especially love the version of Ruby Tuesday that the Corrs do. It was recorded live in Dublin, and we all know how much I love Dublin. I think I should have been born a Dubliner...or maybe I was one in my past life. All kidding aside I really hope you enjoy it as much as I do. Happy Tuesday....I am off to research Wednesday songs. Can you think of one? So far the only one I have found is a scary sounding one. Bet you are just dying to see what I come up with tomorrow huh?
Wanna See Eric Bana's Butt?
Yesterday I got to see The Time Traveler’s Wife. I’d see the previews and sigh wistfully and say to my husband Tom, “Doesn’t that look like a fantastic movie?”
“No,” Tom replied bluntly because unless a character in the movie blows up or has an elaborate sex scene, he’s not interested.
I went by myself. I used to be freaked out over seeing a movie on my own. Would people think I was a total loser? But here’s the thing: other people really don’t care about you in a movie theater so long as you don’t block their view or chat on the cell phone during the movie.
I walked into the theater armed with my popcorn slathered in butter and salt and my large diet coke (hey, I meant to get a medium but the teenaged girl behind the counter chirped, “You can get a large for fifty cents more!” and I’m sorry, that just seemed like a fantastic deal..) and found a seat in the middle. No one else had arrived yet so I sat there munching on my popcorn and watching the trivia on the screen. Did you know that Drew Barrymore was the younger person ever to host Saturday Night Live? (She was seven.)
Of course, sitting there alone in a darkened room can be a tad disconcerting. I have this fear that a Crazy Guy will be hiding in the back and will leap out in the middle of my popcorn feast and grab me. So I kept turning around as I ate to make sure no one was going to race out. As I was reassuring myself that I wasn’t sharing the room with one of the guys I saw on America’s Most Wanted, two women walked in.
Whew.
Surely Crazy Guy wouldn’t strike with other people in the room?
You wouldn’t believe all the commercials that air in before the movie. Not previews. COMMERCIALS. I was a little irritated as a commercial for Coke filled the screen. I see enough commercials at home, thanks. I don’t need to see it before my movie.
Then the previews began and it showed one for The Lovely Bones which is a fantastic book. Go read it. I must see that movie.
Thirty minutes later, the movie finally started.
It was….okay, I sort of felt the way that I do when I’m watching Lost. I wasn’t quite sure what was going on. One second Eric Bana was there, the next second he wasn’t, then he was old, then he was young….
I felt like I was in math class again when I couldn’t comprehend why my teacher was trying to get me to understand this thing called a matrix. Wasn’t a matrix a movie? Why was she pestering me to figure out a number?
Oh, you also got to see Eric Bana’s butt twice, but I wasn’t impressed. He’s not my type. Plus I was distracted because I know he speaks in an Australian accent and I had just heard him talking in the movie Funny People in that accent—and then there he was, prattling on in an American accent and I was all, “But no, you’re Australian…”
Also, there is a kid named Alba in the movie. What kind of name is Alba? I understand it for a last name but as a first name? That also was distracting. I kept thinking, “Who would name a poor kid Alba?”
The movie was okay. I thought it would be better. I’d never see it again unless someone offered me a baked good in return for watching it with them.
Still, it was nice to get out.
When I returned home I noticed that Tom’s truck wasn’t in the driveway. Where did he go? Did he leave a message on my cell phone? I turned it back on (I’m a polite movie patron and always turn my phone off—this is something that other people need to learn to do because they STILL text and that’s DISTRACTING. Stop it) but there was no message.
I unlocked the door and hoped to find a note from Tom.
But no, the man has grass for brains and there was no note. So I sort of walked around the house a few times in confusion. I didn’t quite know what to do.
Write your novel. Take advantage of the silence….
So I settled down at the computer chair and brought up my novel. But I just stared at the words as though they were in an entirely different language.
Where did everyone go? Did one of the kids get hurt? WHAT IF HE’S AT THE ER?
I practically lunged for the phone and tapped in Tom’s number.
It went straight to voice mail.
DID SOMEONE ABDUCT THEM?
I started pacing the house again. I was so busy trying to determine what had happened that I didn’t hear the front door open. I nearly collided into Tom.
“Move,” I barked and then realized, hello, he was who I wanted to see!
My eyes immediately swiveled to the children, who looked healthy enough.
“Is everything okay?” I said, resisting the urge to add, “You idiot with grass for brains!”
“Everything is fine,” Tom said, giving me a baffled look.
“I mean, I came home and everyone was gone….”
“I had to drop something off at the office,” Tom said with a shrug.
“And you couldn’t leave a note?”
Tom blinked at me.
“Oh never mind.”
“No,” Tom replied bluntly because unless a character in the movie blows up or has an elaborate sex scene, he’s not interested.
I went by myself. I used to be freaked out over seeing a movie on my own. Would people think I was a total loser? But here’s the thing: other people really don’t care about you in a movie theater so long as you don’t block their view or chat on the cell phone during the movie.
I walked into the theater armed with my popcorn slathered in butter and salt and my large diet coke (hey, I meant to get a medium but the teenaged girl behind the counter chirped, “You can get a large for fifty cents more!” and I’m sorry, that just seemed like a fantastic deal..) and found a seat in the middle. No one else had arrived yet so I sat there munching on my popcorn and watching the trivia on the screen. Did you know that Drew Barrymore was the younger person ever to host Saturday Night Live? (She was seven.)
Of course, sitting there alone in a darkened room can be a tad disconcerting. I have this fear that a Crazy Guy will be hiding in the back and will leap out in the middle of my popcorn feast and grab me. So I kept turning around as I ate to make sure no one was going to race out. As I was reassuring myself that I wasn’t sharing the room with one of the guys I saw on America’s Most Wanted, two women walked in.
Whew.
Surely Crazy Guy wouldn’t strike with other people in the room?
You wouldn’t believe all the commercials that air in before the movie. Not previews. COMMERCIALS. I was a little irritated as a commercial for Coke filled the screen. I see enough commercials at home, thanks. I don’t need to see it before my movie.
Then the previews began and it showed one for The Lovely Bones which is a fantastic book. Go read it. I must see that movie.
Thirty minutes later, the movie finally started.
It was….okay, I sort of felt the way that I do when I’m watching Lost. I wasn’t quite sure what was going on. One second Eric Bana was there, the next second he wasn’t, then he was old, then he was young….
I felt like I was in math class again when I couldn’t comprehend why my teacher was trying to get me to understand this thing called a matrix. Wasn’t a matrix a movie? Why was she pestering me to figure out a number?
Oh, you also got to see Eric Bana’s butt twice, but I wasn’t impressed. He’s not my type. Plus I was distracted because I know he speaks in an Australian accent and I had just heard him talking in the movie Funny People in that accent—and then there he was, prattling on in an American accent and I was all, “But no, you’re Australian…”
Also, there is a kid named Alba in the movie. What kind of name is Alba? I understand it for a last name but as a first name? That also was distracting. I kept thinking, “Who would name a poor kid Alba?”
The movie was okay. I thought it would be better. I’d never see it again unless someone offered me a baked good in return for watching it with them.
Still, it was nice to get out.
When I returned home I noticed that Tom’s truck wasn’t in the driveway. Where did he go? Did he leave a message on my cell phone? I turned it back on (I’m a polite movie patron and always turn my phone off—this is something that other people need to learn to do because they STILL text and that’s DISTRACTING. Stop it) but there was no message.
I unlocked the door and hoped to find a note from Tom.
But no, the man has grass for brains and there was no note. So I sort of walked around the house a few times in confusion. I didn’t quite know what to do.
Write your novel. Take advantage of the silence….
So I settled down at the computer chair and brought up my novel. But I just stared at the words as though they were in an entirely different language.
Where did everyone go? Did one of the kids get hurt? WHAT IF HE’S AT THE ER?
I practically lunged for the phone and tapped in Tom’s number.
It went straight to voice mail.
DID SOMEONE ABDUCT THEM?
I started pacing the house again. I was so busy trying to determine what had happened that I didn’t hear the front door open. I nearly collided into Tom.
“Move,” I barked and then realized, hello, he was who I wanted to see!
My eyes immediately swiveled to the children, who looked healthy enough.
“Is everything okay?” I said, resisting the urge to add, “You idiot with grass for brains!”
“Everything is fine,” Tom said, giving me a baffled look.
“I mean, I came home and everyone was gone….”
“I had to drop something off at the office,” Tom said with a shrug.
“And you couldn’t leave a note?”
Tom blinked at me.
“Oh never mind.”
Monday, August 17, 2009
I Fell in Love With a Roller Derby Queen
Today I am returning to Musical Monday. My song today has a funny beginning. The teacher who teachs French, ESL, and English 10 at our school has joined a roller derby team. I remember watching Roller Derby when I was a child. My uncle Cecil, my dad's older brother, loved it. He actually took us to a roller derby once with my dad when I was a tweenager. I loved the sound of the wheels going round the wooden track. So...with that said...my Musical Memory today....and what moves me is a Jim Croce song called, "Roller Derby Queen." Every time I saw Sam today...the song was playing in my head....of course when I sang it for her...she did not know it...it was from another lifetime ago. Man did I just date myself. If you like Musical Monday then visit Jori and Diane at their blogs. They have a great time there....or visit Mimi and see what she chose for today. Happy Monday to all and to all a good night!
On Fancy Restaurants
My husband and I don’t get out a lot together. We just don’t have babysitters around us. I mean, I guess I could find a local teenager but I just wouldn’t trust her thanks to cell phones and iPods and other electronic devices that seem to take over their worlds. Suppose my daughter escapes the house and is walking into traffic and teenaged Suzy doesn’t even notice because she’s too busy texting, desperate to find out if Chad likes her and ohmigod, should she dye her hair pink?
So it just means we don’t get dates. Which is fine, really. It’s hard to figure out a movie that we agree on anyway. He prefers movies where things blow up and I prefer movies where people fall in love and music swells in the background.
The good news is, when we were at the beach for our mini family reunion last week we had two opportunities to go out on a date.
The first one we got to go out to lunch and see a movie. Granted, my cousin and her husband were with us but we didn’t care. We were KIDS FREE!
This meant that I could eat my food the minute it arrived instead of worrying about cutting up someone’s meat first. This meant I could have an ADULT CONVERSATION that wouldn’t be interrupted by a tiny person’s voice informing me that they have a booger wedged in their nose.
It was bliss.
Then we decided to see the new Adam Sandler movie Funny People which was pretty good but talked about penises a lot. Oh, and there seemed to be a curse word every few minutes. But that’s okay.
The next day we were able to go out to dinner with my cousins. Without kids. We went to this Italian restaurant and our waiter was named John but I really wanted to call him Guiseppe.
It was sort of fancy so I kept inwardly reminding myself to sit up straight and to chew with my mouth closed. Not that I chew with my mouth OPEN but I admit there are times when I probably show more than I should. It’s just, sometimes I get inspired to say something and I have to blurt it out or else I forget since my memory is shot these days.
The restaurant served this delicious warm bread with a dipping sauce that I was in love with. I couldn’t stop eating the bread. I’d take a bite and say that this was my final bite but then a few seconds later I’d reach and grab another piece.
“Hide this from me,” I told Tom, shoving the basket towards him.
“Um where? We’re at a table,” he replied.
Gee Tom, get inventive. Build a tower with the salt and pepper shakers! Cover it with the napkin. Just GET IT OUT OF MY SIGHT!
I also had to remember to fan out the cloth napkin neatly across my lap. I have a bad habit of bunching it in my lap which doesn’t exactly look nice.
I ordered this fabulous pasta but when it arrived, I had to remind myself that I had to eat it politely. I couldn’t slurp up the noodles like I do at home.
So I cut them up neatly and tried to take ladylike bites. If someone asked me a question I’d cock my head to the side thoughtfully as I chewed and would wait until I swallowed to answer. I made sure I didn’t put my elbows on the table. I sipped my diet Coke in a dainty way.
I would have ordered wine but I’m a weird one and I don’t like wine.
My cousin ordered some Chianti and I said something like, “Oh, wasn’t that what the psycho on The Silence of the Lambs wanted?” and a silence fell over the table for a few seconds.
Apparently you’re not supposed to mention psychos who eat people in fancy restaurants.
“This is just SCRUMPTIOUS,” I told the table, gesturing to my pasta. I never use the word scrumptious but saying, “This is kick ass” didn’t seem like a fancy restaurant thing to say.
Tom raised his eyebrow at my usage of the word scrumptious though. “Scrumptious?” he repeated in a baffled tone.
I ignored him.
After we ate, my cousin Anna and I wanted dessert. The men were being strange and were saying they didn’t want any.
How can a person NOT want dessert?
We called Guiseppe over and asked him what the choices were.
He listed off a bunch of things and we both settled on the blueberry pie with cinnamon ice cream.
Guiseppe had mentioned a chocolate cake that had piqued my interest but I was worried that it would arrive all decorated with chocolate syrup swirled around the plate. I HATE when places do that because I’m always tempted to run my finger along the syrup and eat it. But it’s just not the proper thing to do. It’s just meant for decoration which means you’re supposed to LEAVE IT.
That’s like a total waste of food. Who can leave perfectly good chocolate syrup?
I certainly can’t which is why I went with the blueberry pie.
The pie, by the way, was delicious.
“Scrumptious again,” I said. The cinnamon ice cream was also amazing. If I had been at home I’d have picked up the bowl and licked it clean.
“I want Dairy Queen,” Tom said as I finished up.
DAIRY QUEEN? We’re in a fancy restaurant and he wants DAIRY QUEEN?
Actually, a blizzard sounded really good
“Okay,” I said with a shrug. There was one nearby so we stopped on the way home.
Blizzards rock. I think my cousins were surprised over all that I ate.
“How can you eat that?” they asked, gesturing to my second dessert of the night.
“Er....I have a large stomach?” I replied, plopping my elbows on the table. It felt so nice not to have to be all FANCY. I also slouched back in my seat and slurped up my ice cream. I am not ladylike. I can pretend to be for a few hours but that’s it.
“Is it scrumptious?” Tom teased.
I grinned. “Of course.”
You can never go wrong with Dairy Queen after all.
So it just means we don’t get dates. Which is fine, really. It’s hard to figure out a movie that we agree on anyway. He prefers movies where things blow up and I prefer movies where people fall in love and music swells in the background.
The good news is, when we were at the beach for our mini family reunion last week we had two opportunities to go out on a date.
The first one we got to go out to lunch and see a movie. Granted, my cousin and her husband were with us but we didn’t care. We were KIDS FREE!
This meant that I could eat my food the minute it arrived instead of worrying about cutting up someone’s meat first. This meant I could have an ADULT CONVERSATION that wouldn’t be interrupted by a tiny person’s voice informing me that they have a booger wedged in their nose.
It was bliss.
Then we decided to see the new Adam Sandler movie Funny People which was pretty good but talked about penises a lot. Oh, and there seemed to be a curse word every few minutes. But that’s okay.
The next day we were able to go out to dinner with my cousins. Without kids. We went to this Italian restaurant and our waiter was named John but I really wanted to call him Guiseppe.
It was sort of fancy so I kept inwardly reminding myself to sit up straight and to chew with my mouth closed. Not that I chew with my mouth OPEN but I admit there are times when I probably show more than I should. It’s just, sometimes I get inspired to say something and I have to blurt it out or else I forget since my memory is shot these days.
The restaurant served this delicious warm bread with a dipping sauce that I was in love with. I couldn’t stop eating the bread. I’d take a bite and say that this was my final bite but then a few seconds later I’d reach and grab another piece.
“Hide this from me,” I told Tom, shoving the basket towards him.
“Um where? We’re at a table,” he replied.
Gee Tom, get inventive. Build a tower with the salt and pepper shakers! Cover it with the napkin. Just GET IT OUT OF MY SIGHT!
I also had to remember to fan out the cloth napkin neatly across my lap. I have a bad habit of bunching it in my lap which doesn’t exactly look nice.
I ordered this fabulous pasta but when it arrived, I had to remind myself that I had to eat it politely. I couldn’t slurp up the noodles like I do at home.
So I cut them up neatly and tried to take ladylike bites. If someone asked me a question I’d cock my head to the side thoughtfully as I chewed and would wait until I swallowed to answer. I made sure I didn’t put my elbows on the table. I sipped my diet Coke in a dainty way.
I would have ordered wine but I’m a weird one and I don’t like wine.
My cousin ordered some Chianti and I said something like, “Oh, wasn’t that what the psycho on The Silence of the Lambs wanted?” and a silence fell over the table for a few seconds.
Apparently you’re not supposed to mention psychos who eat people in fancy restaurants.
“This is just SCRUMPTIOUS,” I told the table, gesturing to my pasta. I never use the word scrumptious but saying, “This is kick ass” didn’t seem like a fancy restaurant thing to say.
Tom raised his eyebrow at my usage of the word scrumptious though. “Scrumptious?” he repeated in a baffled tone.
I ignored him.
After we ate, my cousin Anna and I wanted dessert. The men were being strange and were saying they didn’t want any.
How can a person NOT want dessert?
We called Guiseppe over and asked him what the choices were.
He listed off a bunch of things and we both settled on the blueberry pie with cinnamon ice cream.
Guiseppe had mentioned a chocolate cake that had piqued my interest but I was worried that it would arrive all decorated with chocolate syrup swirled around the plate. I HATE when places do that because I’m always tempted to run my finger along the syrup and eat it. But it’s just not the proper thing to do. It’s just meant for decoration which means you’re supposed to LEAVE IT.
That’s like a total waste of food. Who can leave perfectly good chocolate syrup?
I certainly can’t which is why I went with the blueberry pie.
The pie, by the way, was delicious.
“Scrumptious again,” I said. The cinnamon ice cream was also amazing. If I had been at home I’d have picked up the bowl and licked it clean.
“I want Dairy Queen,” Tom said as I finished up.
DAIRY QUEEN? We’re in a fancy restaurant and he wants DAIRY QUEEN?
Actually, a blizzard sounded really good
“Okay,” I said with a shrug. There was one nearby so we stopped on the way home.
Blizzards rock. I think my cousins were surprised over all that I ate.
“How can you eat that?” they asked, gesturing to my second dessert of the night.
“Er....I have a large stomach?” I replied, plopping my elbows on the table. It felt so nice not to have to be all FANCY. I also slouched back in my seat and slurped up my ice cream. I am not ladylike. I can pretend to be for a few hours but that’s it.
“Is it scrumptious?” Tom teased.
I grinned. “Of course.”
You can never go wrong with Dairy Queen after all.
Sunday, August 16, 2009
All I Could Say Was Wow!
The weekend has left me feeling kind of blue. I seemed to just get right down in the pile of funk and wallow. It was my pity party...and I could not seem to muster up a good cry. I just was feeling empty and worthless. Before you get all soft on me I have to share with you what happened to me today. As most of you know I sing at the Arbor....from 9 - 10....then jump in my car and drive to Waverly, AL so I can be Mrs. Preacher at the church my husband pastors. Well....the praise band at the Arbor was trying out a new song today by Casting Crowns...one of my favorite groups....the song was The Voice of Truth...and believe you me...on Weds. night at practice...it was just not there...I left feeling sad because it just did not have what it needed....but today....oh today....God was definitely in the house and in control. We began The Voice of Truth...and I knew immediately...what had been wrong with me all weekend. I was letting those other voices tell me I was not good enough. I know this feeling...I grew up with it. Since the day my little brother died...I have felt as though I was not good enough. I just never quite made the mark for my mom...several years ago...I actually verbalized this to her...and told her I was sorry....sorry I lived and Dougie died. She was horrified...and so was I for saying it. I was ashamed of myself...but I was being honest with her...that is how I had felt for over 40 years...it was almost a release for me to get it out of my system. I just hated that it was at her expense. Anyways...it was a turning point in our relationship...or actually it was the beginning of our relationship. Then she was diagnosed with altzheimers...and we were back at square one. Frank has been great for me...he has let me know I am somebody...and I am worthy to be loved by somebody. Oh what sweet relief to know and believe those words....but every once in a while...those old demons rear their ugly heads....and I find myself struggling to stay afloat...but today...these glorious words just opened up the heavens for me....literally. I was singing with my eyes closed (something I often do to draw into my special music place)...and all of a sudden there was a tremendously bright light. It was so bright I could feel its heat. I thought how odd...because when we sing...there is no bright light that hits me directly in the face...so I opened my eyes...and nothing was any different than it usually is. Odd...I closed my eyes again and the light was there once more...only this time...I felt such a peace wrap around me....it was like nothing I have ever experienced before...I truly believe that I had a moment with God this morning at the Arbor of First United Methodist...and I have felt so special all day. Funny thing...on my way to Waverly United Methodist...with cloudy skies....God blessed me once more with two vapor trails...in the shape of a cross. Talk about special...by the time I got to Waverly...I wanted to shout to the Lord...and I did...in the form of a song. I have a talent that God gave me...and I am delighted to use it for HIM....so sit back and let me share these lyrics and the song with you this evening. God Bless You All Real Good tonight. I know I have been in His presence!
Oh what I would do to have
The kind of faith it takes to climb out of this boat I'm in
Onto the crashing waves
To step out of my comfort zone
To the realm of the unknown where Jesus is
And He's holding out his hand
But the waves are calling out my name and they laugh at me
Reminding me of all the times I've tried before and failed
The waves they keep on telling me
Time and time again. 'Boy, you'll never win!'
"You'll never win"
But the voice of truth tells me a different story
And the voice of truth says "Do not be afraid!"
And the voice of truth says "This is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth
Oh what I would do to have
The kind of strength it takes to stand before a giant
With just a Sling and a stone
Surrounded by the sound of a thousand warriors
Shaking in their armor
Wishing they'd have had the strength to stand
But the giant's calling out my name and he laughs at me
Reminding me of all the times I've tried before and failed
The giant keeps on telling me
Time and time again "boy, you'll never win!
"You'll never win"
But the stone was just the right size
To put the giant on the ground
And the waves they don't seem so high
From on top of them looking down
I will soar with the wings of eagles
When I stop and listen to the sound of Jesus
Singing over me
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth
And you know what....I am going to do just that....believe the Voice of Truth...and leave those people who scoff at me...alone.
Saturday, August 15, 2009
Coping Mechanisms
For the past several months I have watched as my friends and I have had to deal with numerous stressful situations and observed numerous coping mechanisms we all seem to develop in order to deal with life. I wanted to know just exactly what the term coping mechanism meant so I went to a medical dictionary site and did a little research and found that a coping mechanism is any conscious or unconscious mechanism of adjusting to environmental stress without altering personal goals or purposes. Ahhh that is what I thought. So in the past few months, with the illness of my father and the deterioration of my mother's mental faculties I have developed a series of coping mechanisms. I laugh sometimes when my mom does something because if I don't I will cry. I look at my father and see the man he used to be...not the shell of a man he is now. I excuse things...lots of them. I was talking with my dear friend Rhonda one day recently and she was sharing her coping mechanism for dealing with the sudden death of her mom. She has a special place...it is not a physical one...it is a mental one. When she is hurting and can't seem to get a grasp on life...she pulls into her special place and there....everything is as it was before her mom died. We talked on and I began to wonder...which would be the worse thing to cope with...losing my dad quickly...with no warning....or watching him wither before my eyes. As you all know I am a daddy's girl. I love that man with all my heart...and it hurts me so to see him suffer every single day. I cry at night when I see how painful it is for him to move and just exist. I dig deep inside of me...to my own special place....just so I can find rest at night and grab any coping mechanism that works for me...I usually go back in time...back to a time when he was vibrant. In my head I watch the old 8mm movies we have of the man who looked like Tennessee Ernie Ford...and after a while I sleep. I work with six people who are dealing with situations very similar to mine. It is hell being a baby boomer with aging parents. Trina is dealing with a mother-in-law with altzheimers who lives away. She and John struggle with this all the time. Trina is dealing with this like Frank deals with my parents...and it is NOT an easy place to be in. Mary's mom has had a series of accidents and she lives 8 hours away. Mary's brother lives locally...but the two daughters live away. She beats herself up a lot because she can't do more. Her sweet husband Bill went and spent a week with her mom after the last fall so that brother Troy could attend his son's wedding. Beth and Jan are struggling with a declining parent and it is tough on them both. Mary Jean is dealing with her father...and Tammy was dealing with her dad...but he passed away right before school started back. There are probably more at the school but...this small core group has become a great support group. The local group for Altzheimers sufferers...meets each week at RMC during lunch time. I teach...that is not going to happen....so when I feel frustrated....or just need to cry/vent...I can find one of the core group and they understand. I have wonderful friends who love me...and my folks...but they don't understand what is happening to me. If you have not walked in my moccassins...then you really don't know where I am....what I am feeling....or what is happening. I wondered oftentimes if quick loss is not easier to cope with...but what is easier? Will it be easier once my father passes on...and I am left dealing with my mom?...or is it easier to deal with what I have now? Sigh...so from time to time...I visit the coping mechanism store and find a new one to get me through....and in the meantime I cling to Phillipians 4:13.."I can do all things through Christ[a] who strengthens me." I am glad I don't have to do this alone. Have a great weekend.
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