Pool Etiquette.....or Things You Don't Do in a Pool!

One of the things I DON'T like about swimming pools is that there is always someone who does not understand that the P in the word pool is just that...a letter in the word itself....it has nothing to do with bathroom terminology.  My personal belief...is that if you have to go to the bathroom....get out of the pool.  This morning Frank was on facebook and one of his friends sent him this video clip....and it was just to good to pass up.....sooooooo....I had to give you a Sunday Funny.  Hope you enjoy!  God Bless You today!

Mary and Bill and Wehadkee Trade Days

Wooo hooooo.....today is Saturday...and Wehadkee Trade Days...AND Mary and Bill are coming up to go with us.  I am so excited I could pop.  I could not wait for the phone call from Mary saying they were on their way.  We met them at Huddle House for breakfast and I can't remember when I have had so much fun...we laughed...cut up....acted like ourselves.  It was great!  After breakfast we went to Clark Brothers for meat....we decided they might be closed by the time we were through messing around.  Wehadkee Trade days...here we come.  This was a test run for the Gay, GA festival in October that we are going to.  Mary is wanting some Meckles Pickles...and knows that they are there....Mary does not like pickles...but likes these. We spent the next couple of hours at Trade Days and Mary made out like a bandit.  She bargained for a cute old chair and table, we bought a piece of blue and white stuff for our friend, Carolyn.  Her birthday is in November and this piece was pretty.  We introduced them to Shirley and Denney Pounds...members of our church...and Mary found a telescope.  It was a fruitful day for her.  We bought nothing.  I saw nothing I could not live without.  After Wehadkee we headed to Newnan and the School Box.  The airconditioning in the School Box felt wonderful.  It was miserable outside.  Mary bought a good bit....the guys and I read funny birthday cards...and I ended up buying four.  I will have to share them with you another day.  We will have to come back here before we leave Newnan...Mary is buying two tiny frogs in an ecosystem container.  We ate lunch at Five Guys....I love that place...and then hit Fanatic Fanz, DSW (my all time favorite place)....Mary bought two pairs of shoes....one for her...one for MIL, we hit several other stores and it just got hotter and hotter.  After Belks....which is at the end of the line...we decided to call it a day....go pick up the frogs....and head back to Alabama.  I overdid today.  My foot was really hurting by Belks...so Frank and I sat in the car with the AC on....and chilled while they shopped.  "Bert and Ernie" (not their real names), the frogs were purchased....along with the smelliest food on the face of the earth...and we headed home.  I spent the rest of the evening flat on my back with my foot up....but the day was a fun one.  Bill is one of the funniest people I know.  He can tell the greatest jokes....and he was in prime form today.  I love days like this.....spending time with friends.....shoe shopping....it just does not get any better.  Hope you have a great Saturday.

The Things That I've Done...

Tom has been gone for over two weeks now. This means that I had to learn to do a variety of things on my own.

Here are a few things that I’ve done, so far:





1. Changed lightbulbs in awkward areas. When you’re short, changing lightbulbs isn’t as easy as it sounds. In order to change that one I had to get on a chair and stand on my tip toes. When Tom was here he’d have the bulb changed in less than a minute. It took me over ten minutes and when I was done I called the lightbulb a string of swear words as well as flipping it off.





2. Deal with disgusting bugs. Now, okay, this bug looks tiny, but it had a long THING poking from its ass. Therefore, I didn’t want to deal with it. If Tom were here he’d have grabbed his shoe, smashed the bug on the wall and said, “There.” Then he’d be all chuffed as though he expected an award and I’d be all, “Aren’t you going to deal with the carcass?” and he’d be like, “I killed it, you get to deal with that part.” So not fair! What I ended up doing with this bug is sucking it up the vacuum. And now I’m afraid to turn on the vacuum, lest it comes flying out. I wonder if I could run next door and say, “Could you turn this on for me?”





3. Made fun of things like this on TV on my own. In the past we’d have totally mocked Gary from Teen Mom bouncing around dressed as a bunny. It’s not as fun to mock on your own I’ve found.





4. Clean up “artwork”—wait a minute, I always did this on my own. But when I’d scrub it off, I’d usually rant to Tom and be all, “Your daughter made a mess today,” and he’d say something like, “Oh, she’s just my daughter now is she?” Now I just mutter angrily under my breath and count down the days until Natalie starts preschool.





5. Try to explain to Tommy that when he’s older that yes, he’ll have hair. Down there. He came up to me the other night and went, “So when I’m older, I’ll have hair on my penis?” and I wanted the floor to suck me up. Normally I’d send Tommy over to Tom because I’m sorry, just saying the word penis makes me giggle. It’s a funny word. Now Tom isn’t here so I had to stutter my response. “Er…yes….when you’re older you will have hair..” *Tugs on shirt collar* “Down there.” Maybe I could have asked Tom over Skype but I get paranoid that sometimes other people can hack into our conversation and if they overhear “penis” and “hair” they might thing something raunchy is going down. (Or that we have a bizarre hair stylist business.)

Week in Review

What a week it has been and for the second time in two weeks I have only been to school for 4 days.  I am absolutely beat every night when I come home so what will it be like next week when I have morning bus duty and work five days?
Monday was pretty uneventful - Mary, Rita, and Cindi went to see Eat, Pray, Live for Cindi's birthday.  I was invited but declined.  I was just too tired.  My biggest fear was that I would pay the huge price for a theater ticket and sleep through the movie....sorry Julia....I was that tired.  I came home and worked on lesson plans for Weds. when I was going to have to be out.
Tuesday was a flash.  I told my classes that if they misbehaved while I was out that the sub would be told to take up their portfolios worth 152 - 191 points and the grade would stand.  I also threw in that if they were good there would be a reward on Friday.  I really thought that my classes would be perfect....Thursday I would find out that that is what I get for thinking.  Went by to see my mom.  She was weird today.  She asked me again if I remembered when she was a little girl and I took them on a picnic in the woods.  To be honest....I don't ever remember being with my mom in the woods....even as a child myself.  She must have plagiarized this memory from one of my kids.  I will have to ask them.
Wednesday was court day and then the rest of the day was spent trying to take care of my mom's affairs.  I went by to see my mom with Frank and today was a better day.  She asked me if Frank and I were married.  Sigh!  Somedays I wish she remembered nothing....then it would not hurt so much.....but then I think...yeah it would hurt worse.
Thursday I returned to school to find one lonely stack of portfolios sitting on my desk.  I did not even have to open one to know which class they belonged to.  My last class of the day really showed out.  I wrote two coaches emails and told them of their athletes shenanigans and then graded the portfolios.  The highest grade was a 172/191....and that would be a 100 for me...the next grade was a 68/191.  By the time my last class got to me on Thursday I could have spit nails.  They came in complaining about the sub and I told them quickly to be quiet.  I reminded them of what they had been told....their faces spoke volumes...especially when I told them that I had graded every portfolio.  One of the offenders was absent on Thursday....good thing.  I told them that if they did not open their mouths....unless I asked them a question or asked them to repeat something.....I MIGHT give them their portfolios back to finish that night for homework.  You could have heard a pin drop in my room.....so just before the bell rang....I passed out their portfolios.  They were so relieved.
Friday was Camo Coosa day.  Tonight is our Jamboree.  It is a game that does not count against our record.  The weather forcaster said their was a 70% chance of rain.  I gave my first classes their treats....they got donuts or cupcakes...and there were a few left when my last class came in.  Several asked me if they could have one....and I told them...."no way...you had your chance....and blew it....maybe next time you will behave when I am out."  I took three of the worst offenders to the side and told them the ground rules.  If they misbehave again....I will call their parents.  The next time...it is a discipline referral....and everytime there after.  I meant what I said....ANY discipline infraction.....it is sad that 10 days of school have passed...and I have a behavior sheet already started on three students.  COME ON Parents....do your job at home!  All three boys are athletes...and their coaches are aware of their shenanigans....I hope they like running hills and laps...because if I write them up...that is what they will get after detention.  At our school we give the kids multiple chances before a write up....First offense...verbal warning....second offense verbal warning with consequences explained...third...parents called...fourth...the referrals begin.  I so miss the days of corporal punishment.  I remember those huge paddles that hung on the wall behind the Dean of Boys desk.....oh yes....I think we have spared the rod and spoiled the child.....Sigh!  Went by to see my mom today....it was storming....and headed home.  TGIF!

Unexpected Pleasures

Today, when I got home from school Frank had supper cooked....this was nice since I had three classes of tests to grade plus three classes of portfolios.  Sigh...that is what happens when you have to be out.  You give the students work and somebody has to grade it.  I came in crashed on the couch.  I was exhausted.  Frank told me that whenever I was ready he would put the noodles on.  I just wanted to veg.  While I was vegging....he dropped to one knee beside me (and no he did not propose....he did that a long time ago.)....nope....he told me that he was aware that I had had a lot on me....my mom, court, falling, moving, leaving my friends.....and he brought out a jewelry box from behind his back  I opened it excitedly and there....inside the box was a beautiful sterling silver cross with a heart on it.  I cried.  Men...you can't live with them sometimes....but you definitely can't live without him.  Ok...all you southern girls...you know what to say, "Ah isnt he precious?"  Well...right now....I think he is the greatest thing since sliced bread.  Thank you baby for the unexpected gift....it made my day.  Whatever I did to deserve this man....I hope I never stop.

A Kid Called Tommy

This is Tommy.



He’s 8 and is about to start third grade.



He’s as loud as he looks.



He thinks things like farts and Jake Pavelka trying to act are hilarious.



He wants to know about everything.



How do tornados form?



Will I ever be a really fast swimmer?



Do girls think I’m cute?



Why is Ryan Seacrest so short?



Tommy has something called Aspergers.



But it doesn’t bother him.



Because he plans on conquering the world.

The Jury Is In

Well, today, after almost a year of trying I am officially my mom's guardian.  I had to take today off so that I could meet with the lawyers and Gloria Sinclair, the Probate Judge, concerning my mom.  Yesterday I came home physically ill about what was facing me today.  I woke up this morning as nervous as a cat...I asked Frank why my mom suffered from dementia....why such an active, beautiful spirit was stricken by such a nasty illness....of course he had no answers for me....and I know it is all in God's hands......and I truly do know that this is all part of his plan....but this morning I had a case of the Why Me's and Why Her's.  Anyways,  once we were in chambers and sworn in and the questions began I calmed down.  I knew I was doing the right thing....although I have to admit....it saddens me to know that my mom will never experience life with me as we knew it....again.  At 11:00 we finally left the judges chambers....I am now offically bonded and that, I have to admit is scary.  After leaving Dadeville we then began the bank circuits....we had to go to each bank and see what she had and get my name on all her accounts.  The first bank was the biggest accounts....there was a safety deposit box there that we had to inventory.  We took care of that first...and it was a huge disappointment.  The box was a large one...and very heavy.  I knew it would not contain jewels and wads of money...but I really thought it would contain a will.....not so.  What it did contain was coin proof sets, silver certificates, and a few other odd pieces of coinage.  It was a numismatists delight.  I did not understand why these particular coins were in the bank.  We found others...just like these...at the house in pizza boxes...what gives?  Who knows what was wandering through my parents minds.  We left there and went to Aliant bank...that took over an hour...because their computers were down and everything had to be done by a typewriter....can you believe that?  I did not even know they still made the things...but yep...there it was on our CSM's desk...a big old albatross typewriter.  She was lovely....but it just took a long time.  After Aliant...it was on to the insurance company to get that changed...then on to Mutual Savings Credit Union...it was the quickest...they have to do their stuff through their legal department.  I did not see what the big deal was...I had a certified paper...it said I was guardian...nuff said.....Obviously not.  Back to Wachovia between Aliant and MSCU because I forgot to change the address....the only bank we did not hit in Alex City was Regions...thank goodness.  We left the banks, went by the United Methodist District office, the print shop, my mom's...and headed home...just in time to get a lesson ready for Youth tonight.  I am beat.  We are by no means finished.  I have to contact lawyers in Rockford to see if a will exists and if it does...get it probated...I have to sell all her stuff.....I have to keep immaculant records...sheesh...I am not an accountant for a reason.  Anyways...finally home...long day....headed to bed.  Tomorrow...I get to see how well my students behaved in my absence....ohhhh...and my intern showed up today...without me knowing she was coming.....I had not heard from her since May/June.  I did not know when she was coming....SURPRISE!  I am excited about having an intern....I enjoy them...and learn a lot from them....but I hate that she came today and I left her with a sub.  Oh well...Que sera sera...what will be, will be.....won't it?  Happy Weds to all...and to all a good night.