Friday, November 13, 2009

Me. Next to a Tree.

“We’re not going out for ice cream anymore,” I told Tom last night.

He looked up with a horrified expression as he spooned some dinner on his plate. (Eggs and sausage, thank you very much.) “Why?” he demanded. You’d have thought that someone had died or something.

“Because I bought this,” I said, gesturing to the refrigerator.



Tom frowned. “I’m confused. What exactly is it?” He even poked at it.

“Tommy’s art was turned into a magnet. I had to buy it. What kind of mother doesn’t buy her child’s art?” I explained. There was a whole list of different things you could buy with your child’s art on it. It ranged from a keychain all the way to a blanket.

“Well, how much was it? Two bucks?” Tom wondered.

“Six.”

Tom nearly choked on the mouthful of eggs that he put in his mouth. “SIX? For this? For something that Tommy draws all the time!”

He had a point there. Tommy seems to like to draw that same picture a lot. He says, “It’s me. Next to a tree. Do you want me to draw you me? Next to a tree?” And of course I can’t say, “No. Please no more yous next to a tree!” So I always say yes and now I’m left with a pile of Tommy. Next to a tree.

“So you spent six bucks. That’s nothing. We can still go out for ice cream,” Tom argued.

I shook my head. “Not when we’re saving for Black Friday. We agreed that we’d be extra strict until then so we could shop that day.”

Tom poked at his sausage. “It’s just six bucks,” he muttered.

“I know. But it’s the principle of the thing. Plus we have ice cream here,” I said diplomatically.

“It’s not the same,” Tom fumed. “Plus, it’s YOU that wants to have extra money to shop on Black Friday. Why should I be punished?”

I rolled my eyes. “Tom, didn’t you say that you planned on buying the shit out of Craftsman tools on Black Friday?”

Tom’s face twitched with recognition. He probably remembered his reaction when I showed him the Sears Black Friday ad. He practically drooled over the keyboard as he went down the list and saw all the Craftsman tools there. And then he said, “I’m buying the SHIT out of these tools on Black Friday!”

“I may have said that,” Tom said slowly. “But really, we can go out for ice cream...”

“We’re saving money! Why do you think we’re eating eggs? Because they’re cheap. And we’ll also be having a lot of Hamburger Helper too,” I said cheerfully.

Tom made a face and made a cross sign with his fingers. “Ugh, please no Hamburger Helper. It has a weird taste.”

“Do you or do you not want to buy the shit out of your Craftsman tools?”

Tom gave a big sigh. “Have I ever told you how mean you are? Lucky for you I love my tools so I’m going to drop it.” And then he walked out of the room, probably thinking about his shiny tools that he plans on buying in a few weeks.

I stared at Tommy’s magnet for a few seconds and Tommy sidled up next to me.

“Hey! Do you want me to draw you a picture of me? Next to a tree?” he asked.

I couldn’t help but smile. “Sure Tommy. I’d love another picture of you. Next to a tree.”

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