No Pamprin Please

“Geez, chill out. Can I get you some Pamprin or something?” Tom asked with a scowl.

What lead up to that comment?

Well, I’ll tell you.

I was getting ready to leave for my movie with my friend Amanda. We were going to see Dear John. It’s based on a Nicholas Sparks book. Have I mentioned that I love his books? Of course he tends to go for the depressing endings but I sort of like that. Sometimes I don’t need to see a couple walk off together into the sunset.

Anyhow, the movie was starting during dinnertime and I wanted to make sure Tom knew what to feed the kids. If I didn’t give him instructions he’d probably hand over a can of frosting and cheese whiz and say, “Have at it, kids.” Then I’d be stuck dealing with their sugar highs while he’d amble over to the computer and think that his job was over since I was back.

No, I’m kidding though, I think he could figure out something on his own. He’d probably grab his wallet and be all, “Who wants some McNuggets?”

“So you’ll be making Sloppy Joes,” I said to Tom, who didn’t seem to be paying much attention to me. He was stretched out on the couch watching television. This drives me crazy. How hard is it to look at me? When one converses with you, it’s polite to turn and face them.

“The meat is in the fridge,” I continued. “The buns and the can of Manwich are on the counter. Okay? Okay Tom?”

Nothing.

“It drives me crazy when you don’t ACKNOWLEDGE me,” I said. I was half tempted to hurl my purse at his bald head. “You’re watching Wonder Pets, how stimulating can it be? A chick, turtle, and guinea pig are saving a zebra. In what universe does that make sense?”

Tom scratched his arm. “I heard you about the dinner. I’m not stupid.” Well, okay, I know that but sometimes I’ve been known to question his intelligence. I mean, he forgot to delete his search history once and I really wanted to know that he was browsing the web for ‘Katie Holmes nude.’ (I got him back by leaving up ‘Lorena Bobbit story’ in my search, don’t worry.)

“I just like to be acknowledged. Okay? OKAY?” Tom was back to watching the TV. Maybe he was concerned for the zebra’s safety, who knows.

“When Tommy gets home from school you’ll need to get him a snack. Okay? OKAY?” Seriously, I should have hurled the purse at him. “If you could just LOOK AT ME I WOULDN’T HAVE TO STAND HERE SHOUTING!”

That’s when Tom uttered the words. “Geez, chill out. Can I get you some Pamprin or something?” He named the PMS medicine that I’ve been known to take. It’s mainly for my headaches and bloating but on the box it says something about helping with the irritability too.

“I’m going to go,” I said to Tom.

Natalie rushed over and attached herself to my leg.

“Stay here,” she begged.

I picked her up and kissed her cheek. “I’m going to a movie. I’ll be back later.” Then I deposited her on Tom’s lap and ran out of the house. Trust me, it’s easier that way. The longer I stay, the harder Natalie takes it.

At the theater I got my popcorn with butter and salt. It was like a heart attack in a bag but so good. The movie was entertaining. I was distracted at first because there was a father with an autistic son in the movie. He looked really familiar and I kept going, “Who is he? What has he been in?” I seriously HAVE to figure out the answer or else I remain distracted. But then it hit me…

He played the kid in ET! Elliot! And the brother in Legends of the Fall who got shot and died. (Sobs!)

I was able to relax and enjoy after I figured it out.

They changed the ending in the movie. That’s all I’ll say so I won’t give anything away. This sort of annoyed me a bit. Can’t they just keep book endings?

It was nice to get out though. When I got home I said to Tom, “Say something romantic to me,” because the guy in the movie was pretty romantic.

Tom replied, “I filled up the ice tray.”

I’ll take it.