Discussions with Tommy

So Tom came home last night from firing. See, they have to requalify for being able to have certain weapons.

He walked in and went, "Why is there an angry carrot taped to our door?"

He was talking about this:



Okay, I can see how he thought it was a carrot. My poor Tommy can't always make circles that well.

"It's a pumpkin," I corrected.

He did a double take. "It looks like an evil carrot."

I asked how he did with firing.

Tom almost look insulted that I even asked.

"Expert of course," he said indignantly.

Well sorry.

Then we talked and he fell asleep.

And I realized that sharing a bed with him sucks. Usually he's up during the night so I get the bed to myself. It's bliss, really.

But last night he was so exhausted since he had been at firing all day and had only had about two hours of sleep.

He shifts so much.

And the snoring.

Don't get me started on the snoring.

I want to kill whoever decided that a married couple should share a bed. Seriously.

They should not.

They should each have their own rooms. *Nods*

I told Tom if we were ever rich and could afford a big house that we'd have our own rooms. Of course this insulted him because he was all, "What? You don't like being with me?"

Er. Not at night when your arm is flung over my face and your foot kicks at my back.

Today Tommy only had a half day at school. He's upstairs now watching a movie with a friend.

Though when he first came home he picked up the tank he has been playing with yesterday and noticed something was missing.

It was this tiny (TINY) gun attached to it and I suppose it snapped off.

Only Tommy would notice something like that.

Tommy notices everything.

If one thing is out of place he'll point it out.

If a different numbered bus picks him up in the morning he points it out.

I switched some pictures out of frames and he noticed right away.

Anyhow, he had a meltdown over this tiny gun. I tried to find it. I got down on my hands and knees and searched the garage to no avail.

"But. I. Need. My. GUNNNN!" Tommy said all dramatically.

He finally calmed down. It may have been because of the Fruit Rollup that I pressed into his palm and the promise that a friend could come over later.

Tommy came home with a picture that he drew in class today:



I did a double-take because it appeared that he had also drawn his...erm...penis.

Mind you, he has done this in the past. My longtime readers might remember the drawings that were well-endowed.

I was able to explain that drawing the penis was not necissary. That people understood that it was him without the penis. That the penis was private and it was better not to draw it.

Apparently he forgot.

Because I asked him to explain the picture to me. This is something that parents learn to say. Because sometimes your kid will hand you over a drawing and you have no idea what it is. You'll twist the paper around your hands and squint at it, hoping that you'll be able to figure out what it is. Sometimes you may get lucky and figure it out.

Other times you'll have to ask the kid to explain it to you.

Because some kids get insulted if you dare ask what they've drawn.

And then they may not ever draw anything ever for you again because "you didn't know what they drew the first time so what's the point?!"

Children can seriously behave as though they're PMSing.

I'm not kidding.

"I drew my intestines," Tommy said seriously, pointing them out. "Then my stomach."

He didn't mention the penis so I pointed and asked what it was.

He looked at me as though I were completely stupid.

"My penis," he said matter-of-factly.

I sighed. "But Tommy. Remember that's private. We don't have to draw it, okay?"

"But Frank drew HIS penis," Tommy pointed out, naming another kid in his class.

Suddenly I pictured all the boys in the class drawing their penises and had to stifle a giggle.

"That's not appropriate," I told Tommy. "Please don't draw it again. I mean I like your drawing, don't get me wrong...But no more penises. Okay?"

He nodded. "Ohhh-kay." He looked a little annoyed and took his drawing back.

Then he also brought back some candy that the teachers had given the kids.

Thank goodness they still pass out candy.

There's this nonsense of no cupcakes and such at parties which I think is horrible.

Yes fruit is important. But for heavens sake, don't ban the cupcakes. Just offer fruit as well.

Tommy showed me his candy and only picked out the lollipops and the minature chocolates.

"The rest is yucky," he said, gathering it into his hands and walking to the trash.

"STOP!" I yelped.

I mean he had mini 3 Musketeers bars in his hands. Mini Snickers. A Reeses Peanut Butter Cup.

My kid is insane!

Tommy paused over the trashcan. He looked shocked.

"Mommy will eat that. You have a Mommy who loves candy," I said, taking the candy into my hands.

Mmmm...come to me mini 3 Musketeers Bar.

"Mommy," Tommy said in his best lecture voice. "Candy is BAD for you. Eat fruit."

Ah. I see his Nona has gotten to him.

She'd be so proud.

"I'll eat fruit. I promise. I'm going to have an apple later."

Of course I didn't mention that I was dipping said apple into chocolate.

Some things kids just don't have to know about.

Articles and Pictures

Six articles that surprised me while reading US Weekly.



Goodness.

So Hugh Hefner has dumped Holly and taken up with these twins?

Who look like they're wearing..PANTIES to an event?

They look like they were pulled out of a strip club or something.

I liked Holly.

But apparently they tried to have a baby and it didn't work. And Holly wants a baby, therefore they broke up.

Interesting.



Why do I even bother watching The Hills?

It's obviously fake.

And now it seems like Lauren and Audrina are fighting. Audrina thinks Lauren slept with an ex-boyfriend of hers who looks as though he's climbed out of a dumpster.

Oh and it seems like Lauren and Heidi are friends again ??

I wonder what Spencer, Heidi's creepy boyfriend thinks of that?

He seriously scares me.



Michael Phelps! WTF!?

You're on my list. You can't go getting a girlfriend.




What in the WORLD is up with these jeans? Who would wear them that high? And who would fork over $275 for them?

I don't get celebrities.



It's Jodie Sweetin from Full House! I love her. I love that show.

She was on Chelsea Lately the other day. I think we'd be friends. Granted she was addicted to crystal meth but she overcame that.

Go Jodie!

I hope you come back into the world of acting.

---------
One Picture that Confuses Me



Why is Suri Cruise never wearing a jacket?

It's it cold in New York?

Her Mommy is wearing a jacket.

Where is Suri's?

And why do celebrities dress their children horribly? Actually Suri is adorably dressed most of the time. But some other celebrity children look as though they just rolled out of bed.

Man, if I were photographed all the time I would make sure my kid was dressed to the nines.

Heck, I'm not photographed now and my kids are always dressed up.

I'm confused.

-------

Two Pictures that Confuse Me




Natalie enjoys watching America's Next Top Model.

In this photo she took the couch pillow down and snuggled on it while she happily watched the models don a green suit.



Natalie happily snuggles with her Daddy but I get konked in the head with her toys?

Rude.

-----------

Just A Question


Um. Please tell me that I'm not the only 26-year-old who is NOT going to see High School Musical 3. A lot of people at the forum that I write at are excited about seeing it??

And some are older than me.

Er.

Do they not realize that it's a bunch of scary teenagers prancing around?

Maybe that sort of thing only terrifies me. I dunno.

It might be Zac Efron's hair that scares me off.

Or Ashley Tisdale's new nose.

Dunno.

It's Our Unbirthday!

"Mommy!" Tommy's voice called from outside. He appeared in front of the screen door with a wide smile on his face.

He always wants to be outside. Even though yesterday it was down in the fifties he still insisted on playing outdoors.

"I have a jacket, Mommy," he reminded me as though I were a complete idiot when I had mentioned that it was chilly.

I have to remember that children don't mind the cold as much. That when I was little I used to dart around outside even in temperatures hovering around 10 degrees. I'd just bundle up and go.

So yes, after school Tommy had a quick gulp of water and shoved some carrots in his mouth and was gone.

Until he appeared at the door.

He came inside with his right hand closed up.

"I have a surprise for you," he said.

I held my hand out. "Goody! Can I see?"

"Close your eyes," Tommy insisted.

I obeyed.

And then I felt something fuzzy and I thought, "aww the kid probably brought in one of those dandelions or something how sweet.."

But then I opened my eyes and it was a fuzzy black CATERPILLAR.

I screamed.

I didn't MEAN to.

But the scream just came out and I flung the caterpillar to the ground while Tommy stared at me in horror.

"MOM-ME!" he whined, bending down to pick up his friend. "You gonna hurt my caterpillar." He gave me a dirty look before scooping up his "friend" and taking him back outside.

Where he belongs.

Okay, so the caterpillar wasn't huge or anything. But it was just the surprise of having one suddenly in my hand that caused me to startle.

I should have known better.

Boys like bugs, farts, boogers and sports.

So what did I expect Tommy to give me?

In my defense, he has given me flowers in the past. Of course that was awhile ago, when he was still my sweet little boy.

Now he's suddenly morphed into this moody kid who will explode with "I hate you!" if I tell him no.

It's heartbreaking, really.

I explain that he cannot use those words with me, that it hurts my feelings and then he'll lower his head and mutter out that he's sorry but he was just very very angry with me.

I went outside to check on Tommy and he was squatting on the driveway watching his caterpillar friend.

When he saw me approaching he scooped up his caterpillar.

"You hurt him," he said, frowning.

It was on the tip of my tongue to say that he was probably hurting him now, squeezing him palm to his chest like that.

But I swallowed it down and apologized.

"I just didn't expect a caterpillar. Sorry," I said.

Tommy set his caterpillar back down and the poor thing tried in vain to escape.

It was probably thinking, "Okay first I was flung in the air. And now this kid-creature keeps trying to HUG me."

"Say sorry to Sparky," Tommy commanded.

Sparky?

"Sorry Sparky," I said with a forced smile.

"He says it's okay," Tommy told me seriously.

Great. My conscience is clear.

In other news, I ended up buying a cookie cake.

I couldn't help it.

Jennifer (PurrfectPrincess) had talked about it in an entry and I couldn't stop thinking about it.

So then we all headed to Wal-Mart and of course I wandered into the bakery section and I found a cookie cake.

"Get it," Tom said with a shrug. "Of course the one you're holding says Happy Birthday on it."

"So?" I replied. "It can be our UNbirthday."

Tom raised an eyebrow at me. "Huh?"

I shook my head. "Haven't you ever seen Alice in Wonderland?"

Tom made a face as though I had let out a bean fart. "That's for girls."

I rolled my eyes. "Oh it is not. But anyhow, they have a song that goes..a very merry unbirthday..to me..to you...a very merry unbirthday..to me..to you.."

I trailed off and realized that Tom had left.

He was quickly walking away into the frozen food department.

How rude!

I was SINGING to him.

Albeit off key but still.

When someone sings to you, you stay and LISTEN.

It's common curtesy.

Tommy stayed. But that's only because he wanted a donut and was patiently waiting for me to finish my musical.

I caught up to Tom and told him he was rude to leave me like that.

"Amber," Tom hissed. "How many times do I have to tell you not to break out into song in public?"

Sorry.

Maybe I watched too many Disney movies growing up. Characters always broke out into song and I always thought it was neat how everyone around automatically knew all the words and would chime in.

And it doesn't help that movies make it look like so much fun.

Like on My Best Friend's Wedding when George all of a sudden breaks out into song to embarrass Julia Robert's character. I loved that scene! No one has ever broken out into song for me.

Well, I guess Tom sort of has. Sometimes if a music plays on his iPod while we're driving he'll grab my hand and sing.

But never in public of course.

Anyhow, we had the cookie cake when we got home and I started to sing as I brought Tom's slice to him.

"A very merry unbirthday to me..to YOU..a very merry unbirthday to me..to you.." I stopped. "Why are you giving me that look?"

Tom was given me a sullen look. "Because I just want my cake. I don't need a song to accompany it."

Rude again!

Sheesh.

Here is the beautiful cookie cake, which was delicious by the way.

Surly Sunday

Well, it happened.

We moved Natalie's crib into a toddler bed.

I was worried that she'd tumble out of her crib one day. So far she's climbed out without any problems but suppose she slipped and bonked her head?

So I told Tom he'd have to switch it to a toddler bed.

He kept saying that he'd get to it after he played his new computer game.

So an hour slipped by and then he said he was tired and that he wanted to lie down.

I said no way.

Because he had been at church most of the morning. Then he came home and plopped in front of his computer game. And then he's going to announce that he's going to bed?

I think not.

"Doesn't church teach you to help your family out and all that jazz?" I asked him as he started to grumble.

"I didn't get much sleep," he argued.

In the end he agreed to put the toddler bed together. Probably to shut me up.

At first he couldn't find the instructions.

"They're not on here," he said, flipping the booklet that came with the crib.

"They're right HERE," I said, tapping the corner page.

Then he started complaining that I wasn't helping.

"Welcome to my world," I said. "I do basically everything on my own."

So that started him complaining again.

I did help him, by the way.

And it was easy to set up.



Notice that there isn't a pillow or blanket. Why?

Because, okay, Natalie starts off like this:



And then ends up like this:



I'm just worried she'll get twisted up in a blanket.

So how did she do?

Well, she kept coming out of bed. I put a gate up in front of her door and she'd shout, "Bed? Bed?"

I would explain that it was time to go back to bed and lead her back to it.

But then she'd come back to the gate.

"Bed? Bed?"

This went on until about 9:30. She goes to bed at 8:30.

Finally she tuckered herself out.

But then at four in the morning I heard her voice.

"Bed? Bed?"

*Le sigh*

I brought her back to her bed.

Then again at 6:30 which stinks, because my alarm goes off at 7.

"Bed? Bed?"

I hope she gets better with it.

So what else happened Sunday?

Well, the neighborhood kids struck again.

They kept coming to the door and this one kid kept asking if Tommy could bring more toys out.

"No," I said.

And this kid likes to argue. He's all, "Yeah but we just need one."

"No."

"But that's not fair," he'll complain.

Well, the fact that chocolate is so danged fatty and makes my hips expand isn't fair either. But I DEAL with it.

It's what I wanted to say but I didn't.

I just said, "Sorry, no more toys," and shut the door.

Then I heard Tommy crying a while later.

I rushed out and he was in the driveway, head down, sniffling. Another boy was with him.

"Those older kids aren't being nice," the kid told me, pointing across the way to wear a bunch of older kids were. They looked to be around twelve or so.

"What are they doing?" I asked, shooting them a dirty look. They pretended not to see me and quickly looked away.

"They're calling Tommy a crybaby," the kid explained.

Tommy sniffled again. "I am NOT a crybaby," he shouted towards the older kids.

I saw a few of them snickering.

"Those little fu--" I started and then caught myself in time.

No Amber. You cannot use the f-word in front of children.

I swallowed it down. "They're being, erm, fudgeheads," I corrected.

The kid made a face. "What's THAT?" he asked, clearly confused.

(I was a little confused myself.)

"Just that they're not being nice," I said. I looked at Tommy. "Just ignore them. If you ignore them they'll get bored and leave you alone. If they keep it up, let me know."

And then I went inside and peeked out the window. Thankfully those kids rode off on their bikes.

Danged kids.

I swear, if I ever see someone picking on Tommy I'm going to talk to their parents.

Granted I know Tommy is an overemotional kid but honestly, why aren't the parents teaching their kids to be NICE to little kids?

That's what I always stress to Tommy. That it's important to be NICE.

Oh and the toy I did allow outside?

It broke. These kids have no respect for other people's things.

When I saw the broken tank I boomed, "WHO DID THIS?" and probably freaked out the other kids.

But honestly.

They need to be nicer to Tommy's things.

Or else I might slip one day and use a profanity.

She's Growing Up Fast

Dang.

I think my morning naps are coming to an end.

I admit it. I wake up at 7 to get Tommy ready for school. I do not do well with mornings. It doesn't help that I don't drink coffee. Maybe if I drank coffee it wouldn't be so horrible.

At 9, Natalie and I go back to bed until 10:30.

Granted, sometimes Natalie didn't always go back to sleep. I'd hear her playing in her crib. Which was fine.

But now that she knows how to get out of her crib..

Yeah.

This morning she kept coming out of her room. She knows how to open her door too. What she does is bring her pony over to the door and stand on it and then twist the knob. Then I hear her tiny voice go, "Mom?"

Because that's what she calls me.

Mom.

Not Mommy.

Not Mama.

But MOM. In this nasally voice.

I mean geez kid. I only birthed you. My vagina hurt for days afterwards yet I still limped over to you, took care of you and gave you my aching nipples for you to feed from.

Shouldn't that warrant a MOMMY?

Apparently not.

Because it's "Mom" this and "Mom" that.

Oh but guess what Tom is?

Daddy.

Yup.

The man who only had to stand beside me and tell me that I was doing great while I pushed and strained to get her out of me.

The one who only had to rub my stomach and then happily go to sleep on his stomach while I struggled to breathe and move and fumed that I could no longer sleep on my own belly.

He gets a Daddy.

It's just not fair.

Anyhow, like I said, she kept coming out of her room this morning.

I kept putting her back in her crib only to her the thump of her climing out, the creak of her door and then that nasally, "Mom?"

(Is she channeling Fran Dresher or what?)

Thankfully she's gone to bed at night without problems.

It looks as though we might just make her crib into her toddler bed. But I can't believe it.

I mean, she's one.

Eighteen months. Only eighteen pounds for heavens sake.

How can she already be ready for a toddler bed?

Some people have mentioned crib tents.

But I have a feeling that Natalie would figure that out and pop it right off.

So yes. The toddler bed is looming.

Even though she still doesn't even sleep with a pillow or blanket. I'm paranoid she'll suffocate.

It's because she's so shifty at night. She'll go to sleep on one end of the crib and wake up in a completely different end all twisted around.

Suppose she does that with a blanket and it twists around her neck or something?

Yes, I'm ultra paranoid.

I can't help it.

Tommy didn't get a pillow or blanket until he was around three.

I can't believe she's growing up this fast.

I mean, she already wants to drink out of a cup like her brother. She does a pretty good job with it too. She still dribbles but for the most part, the water always ends up in her mouth:



It also amuses me how much she likes Rachael Ray. Maybe she'll grow up to be a chef and teach her Mommy how to cook?



Natalie also loves her big brother and for the most part, her big brother adores her.



Natalie decided to repay the favor:



I know. With all the clothes she has, why the heck is she in a diaper? She usually gets to wander around in her diaper after her bath.

In other news, I've seen photos of the new line from Gymboree.

I am in trouble.

I love 80% of it. Including the boy stuff, which rarely happens. Most of the time the boy stuff is not nearly as cute as the girl stuff. So I wait and buy it when it goes into a deep discount. But this line has a space theme and Tommy is really into space. D'oh!

Gymboree, what are you trying to DO to me?

I'm tempted to ask Kate Gosselin if I can join their family so I can get the free Gymboree too.

I mean, okay, I didn't carry six babies at once but does it could that I was still uncomfortable in both of my pregnancies? And hey, I was constipated with Natalie, doesn't that count for something?

Also, my husband serves his country. What did Kate do other than carry six babies at once? I mean honestly.

If anyone deserves free Gymboree it's military families. And teachers. Because teachers rock too.

Here is the link to the clothes. They will be in stores on Monday I think.

http://junkjungle.org/101608m.html

And I may be a Gymboree girl but I admit, sometimes I wander over to the Gap side if something is exceptionally cute.

Like this outfit:



She wasn't trying to get her balance. She was dancing. I was singing *cringes* the Yo Gabba Gabba theme song and she just started breaking down. That show still terrifies. How people can find it CUTE is beyond me. It's freaky with a capital F.



Finishing up with her dancing.



How can she be ready for a toddler bed? She still doesn't even have all her TEETH yet.

Still Magnolias

Anyone who reads my blog knows that I am part of a trio called Still Magnolias. We have been singing together for a number of years. We met at the Loft in Columbus, Ga. Now, Amanda and I have been singing together since we were babies as she says....hardly....I am two years older than she is....but it sounds good. I thought today would be a good day to introduce the readers to the girls. They truly are exceptional women and I am glad to be a part of such an organization of such extraordinary women. PTL! Sooooo...with that said....let me introduce you to the women in my life.

Who Are We?

Amanda Brown
singer, songwriter, guitarist

Amanda looks at her life she says, "Life is about living, no waiting, so get in the car girl and Let's Go!" A native of Mobile, AL, she is a registered nurse with a Masters Degree in Management. The talented third of Still Magnolias wears many hats during her day. She is a hospital administrator for Compass Group. Right now she travels all over and helps hospitals who are floundering. She is the wife of one, mother of two, (soon to be grandmother of two), one of three Still Magnolias and the second of four daughters.
Amanda's first song, "The Best Man," was written about her father who was killed in a work-related accident when she was eight years old. Her mom, Shirley, father, Charlie, and her grandfather, Lee Terrell Prophitt, passed along to her deep roots in music. The legacy of her grandfather is forever captured in "Grandpa's Music," an early co-writing venture with her cousin, Karen. The song tells what it was like growing up in a mill village with a musical family. "I thought everyone grew up with music," says the crooner. "What a shock when I found out they didn't."
Listen to her music and you will hear that Amanda weaves into every song her stories, her humor, and her heart. "Singing three part harmony is one of the purest ways to touch someone's heart." If you don't believe her, then come and listen to Still Magnolias sing. What an experience you will have!

Rebecca Harris
singer, songwriter, percussionist

When you ask Rebecca if she has lived in Columbus, GA all her life she will chuckle and tell you, "Not yet! I still have a lot of living to do!" Believe me when I tell you this barely 5 foot dynamo can pack 48 hours worth of living in 24 and never bust a sweat. Rebecca is the Entertainment Coordinator for Phenix City Parks and Recreation. She is one very busy lady making carnivals, street dances, concerts happen in Phenix City. This remarkable woman has an uncanny knack for making people give 110% of themselves.
Rebecca's richly varied musical experience incorporates jazz, country, rock, folk, blues and gospel into her distinctive lead and harmonic vocals. As a singer-songwriter she draws from her life experiences as a true southern woman. "The Shelter" was written to let women know that there is a place to go if they are in an abusive situation. This song premiered at a benefit concert for the Columbus Alliance of Battered Women in October of 2000.
All of the trio boast of rich Indian heritage, but it is Rebecca who spends her spare time reading up on Indian history, folklore, and natural healing. She and her husband, Stan, a talented artist, remodeled their home to reflect a unique southwestern aura. Her writings are both passionate and light-hearted. She is happiest when she moves her audience to feel the power of her words. She has a unique gift of making people feel like they are sitting on her back porch swing, singing along and possibly becoming part of her next song.

ME
singer, songwriter, guitarist, kazooist

If you ask me about my life so far, my response is that it has been an incredibly enjoyable adventure. An original Florida native, I cut my teeth on the music of my grandfather, Lee Terrell Prophitt. One of my fondest memories was listening to all the music that came from my grandparent's house. Music has always been a passion. The song, "Flight 307," came while driving home from a trip to Nashville with Amanda. It was hastily polished off at a center table at "The Loft" in Columbus twenty minutes before show time.
I, like the other two, also wear many hats. I teach high school Spanish at Benjamin Russell High School during the day and at night sometimes you will find me teaching aspiring writers the rudiments of English Composition I and II at Central Alabama Community College. I teach Sunday School, lead a Bible Study, sing in the Arbor Praise and Worship Service at First United Methodist, and during the summers have been known to strap on power tools and get down and dirty with Appalachian Service Project in the Appalachian Mountains.
Harmony is my favorite part of a song. I love to find those haunting additions to make a song full. A storyteller at heart, I love weaving stories into songs and performances. This singing teacher loves her job, loves to sing and wonders, just how many people can get up every morning and know that every major thing they do in their lives they love?" I can, because I do....everyday! I truly am blessed.

So now that you have met us...what do you think? We are just everyday women...with everyday dreams....in an everyday world....who love to sing and love being part of each other. From blue grass to gospel and ballad to torch.....it is quite a ride....and I don't want to get off anytime soon.

Peace Out, K

On Selling, On Buying and Prattling on..

Whew.

I've been running around all morning.

This morning I decided to sell Natalie's exersaucer to Once Upon a Child since it didn't sell in the newspaper ad I listed. Or Craigslist.

It was taking up too much space so I figured I may as well get ripped off by Once Upon a Child.

I managed to fit it into the PT Cruiser and I strapped Natalie into her carseat and we were off.

I also had a tote of clothes to sell and the lady working there said it would be about fifteen minutes for her to go through everything.

So I brought Natalie to to the toy area.

"Look, look!" she kept saying, pointing to everything. She happily climbed on a musical horse and went, "Weeee!"

It actually took the lady closer to a half hour. And Natalie started to get bored with the toys so I started to walk her around the store while holding her hand. Of course she would try to break free. At one point she did and ran down a clothes aisle.

By the time the woman was finished I was exhausted.

She gave me $53 for everything which was pretty good I guess.

After that we headed to Gymboree.

I was curious to see what the lady had pulled aside for me. (See previous entry for details.)

I had given Natalie some raisins to munch on and she thought it would be funny to throw them at my head.

At first I thought it was a bug when I felt something slide down my arm and I went, "EEEEEEEEE!"

Which Natalie mistook for "Weeee!" and she happily replied, "WEEEEEE!" and threw another raisin at me.

That's when I realized that it wasn't a bug.

"Natalie. We eat food. We don't play with it," I chastised her as I parked at the mall.

Natalie's response?

To just throw down her box of raisins.

Okay then.

I got out her stroller and plopped her in there and we happily headed for Gymboree.

It was the same worker as yesterday, thank goodness, so when she saw me she smiled and went to retrieve the items she had pulled aside.

"I'm sorry I couldn't find anything for your boy," she said apologetically.

"That's okay," I said.

"I just have so much to go through in the back that I didn't have time.." she added.

Ooo. The back room again.

How I would love to get back there.

What she gave me was a huge bin full of girl clothes.

My heart started to race with excitement.

"Anything you don't want just set up here," she said, gesturing to the counter.

Of course right when my hand touched the clothes Natalie wanted out of her stroller.

"But sweetheart, Mommy is looking at clothes for you," I explained as though that would make her suddenly decide to sit back down.

No such luck.

She wanted out and she wanted out NOW.

So I had to put her on my hip as I went through the clothes with one hand.

I think I only put like 5 things back.

And seriously, that's me being good.

Because I wanted it all.

Then I wandered the store and found Tommy some shorts and a shirt.

And I have to point out that nothing was over $10. I think the dresses were $7.99, the bottoms $4.99 and accessories were about 99 cents and below.

Okay so I did spend $108.

But it's all for the summer and I walked out with a bag stuffed with clothes.

As I was walking to the car the phone rang.

It was Tom.

He must've sensed that I had just bought clothes or something.

Spiderman might have Spideysense.

The Jedis might have the Force.

But my husband has the "Oh crap, my wife has bought more clothes!" sense.

"Where are you?" he asked.

He had been sleeping when I left and I assumed that he would keep sleeping until I got back.

"Gymboree," I said lightly making it sound like I didn't just spend $108.

"Of course," Tom replied. I could imagine him rolling his eyes.

"Do you need anything while I'm out?" I quickly asked before he could ask me how much I spent.

"No," Tom said. "So how much did you--"

"LUNCH!" I burst out with.

"Huh?" Tom was perplexed.

"We should do lunch," I said. "I'll meet you at Perkins."

"I guess we can do that..."

"See you there!" I said and hung up the phone.

Phew.

Ten minutes later we were walking into Perkins.

It should be called Old People Central because seriously, most of the patrons are over the age of sixty.

Natalie received a lot of compliments on her pumpkin hat that she had on.

"Did you make that?" one old lady wondered.

Hah!

Like I could ever learn to knit. I haven't the patience.

"I bought it. At Gymboree," I explained.

She raised an eyebrow. "Jamboree?"

"GYMboree," I corrected.

She still looked confused so I added, "It's a children's clothing store." I bit my tongue so I wouldn't add, "The best place EVARRR! Your grandchildren would LOVE it!" and scare the living crap out of her.

Anyhow, I decided to get the biscuits and gravy.

I started prattling to Tom on about how I sold stuff at Once Upon a Child, how good Natalie was even though she didn't want to sit--

"Tom, we must produce children who hate sitting or something..."

Then I talked about how good the desserts and Perkins looked and should we get a pie, did we NEED a pie, should I get a cookie, did I NEED a cookie--

"Amber." Tom cut me off mid-prattle.

"Huh?" I pretended to look baffled.

"How much did you spend at Gymboree?"

Oh.

Well damn.

"Not much," I said. "Ooo this pie looks delicious, Tom. Look at this pumpkin pie--" I jabbed my finger at a picture of a pumpkin pie covered in whipped cream.

"Amber," Tom said sternly. "How much?"

"I got summer stuff. None of it is for now. For next year which means I won't have to buy as much next year which I can do because I'm never as thrilled with Gymboree summer stuff as the fall and winter. I got some amazing deals and--"

I saw Tom's expression. He did not look amused.

"One oh eight," I muttered.

Tom's eyes nearly bugged out of his head. "One HUNDRED and EIGHT dollars?"

A few old people glanced over at us.

**Hello! Welcome to the Amber and Tom show. In this episode Amber has gone clothes shopping (again) and her husband Tom is not amused. Please join us next week when Tom retaliates and goes out and buys a bunch of new computer games.**

"But I got great deals," I assured Tom. "All the items I bought would have been well over $300. I know because the lady told me."

"I don't care that you buy clothes. It's just, we're sort of running out of space for them," Tom reminded me.

"I'm going to be selling some next month," I promised.

"I know you. You get attached to things." He made a face. "I bet you were sad to sell the exersaucer even."

It's true.

I was.

I nearly didn't hand it over. I held it to me for a few seconds before handing it to the lady. I think she thought I was nuts.

Tom dropped the whole clothes issue and moved on to another topic.

"Oh I saw a commercial last night. Taco Bell has new fruitistas. They're fruitistas and cream," Tom said.

Mmmmmmmmm.

I love their strawberry fruitistas. And now they've added CREAM to them?

Even better.

My eyes must've lit up because Tom went, "And yes, I'll take you to get one when we're done here."

Awww.

He knows me well.

He knows I MUST try the new things that fast food places offer.

I tried the Triple Berry and Cream Fruitista and it was delicious.

Tom, being the weirdo that he is didn't even want to try one.

"I just like simple things," he told me.

I will take pictures of all the clothes I got.

For now I have pictures of Natalie: