A Fishy Tale

I come from a long line of storytellers. My dad has three brothers and they all could weave some of the greatest stories ever told. Oral tradition is how literature as we know it came to be. I love to listen to someone tell a good story. One particular story sticks out in my mind and I just have to share it with my readers today. My uncle, Cecil, was the greatest of all storytellers. He told this story one evening after fishing all day and I believed it until I was a lot older. Gullible, thy name is Karen. Anyways, back to the story.....my uncle was fishing off the beeline in South Florida one day. He had been having a lot of luck and had run out of bait. When he realized he was running low on bait he started looking around for something he could use as bait so as not to interrupt the catching of fish. In some reeds to the right of him was a small snake that had caught a frog and was fixing to devour it. My uncle took his pole and thumped the snake on the head, stunning it temporarily. He then reached down a took the frog. He had a moment of remorse for the snake so he pulled his flask of Johnny Walker our of his hip pocket and sprinkled a little in the snakes mouth. He then cut the little frog into quarters and continued fishing. He caught four more fish and was about ready to call it a day when he felt something tug at his pants leg. He looked down, thinking he had snagged a tree limb, but lo and behold there was the little snake with five more frogs laying on the ground. The snake obviously had a taste for the Johnny Walker.....and my uncle had one gullible niece. It was a great story....and one of my favorites from my uncle Cecil. The sad thing about oral traditions....is that one day....the teller is gone....and the story lives no more. Fortunately for my uncle.....that is not the case. I remember the story and have told it several times to eager listeners. It still gets the same response....little children sit in awe and wonder and adults laugh with glee. Thanks uncle Cecil for sharing your talents with me. Happy Wednesday!

Okay, So I Don't Bake

Thank you for the birthday wishes for Tommy. They are appreciated.

I have some birthday pictures to share.

Because what would a birthday be without pictures?

Okay.



First I decorated the living room and set out some presents the night before.

It was a good thing because I heard Tommy at 6:30 screeching, "It's my birthday!"

I am not a morning person. But I forced a smile on my face and stumbled into his room. I think I startled him because he went, "What's wrong with your eyes, Mommy?"

Then I realized they were half-closed.

Oh.

We headed downstairs and I asked Tommy if he wanted me to make him eggs or pancakes.

Because he's lived with me for seven years and knows how I cook, he declined and asked for Apple Jacks.

Then he dug into his presents:





You see Hulk's expression? That's basically how I looked.

I'm kidding.

I sort of felt that way though. I wanted to go back to bed.

Then I drove Tommy to school. We brought in cupcakes. I did not make these cupcakes.

Tommy told me seriously, "Most Mommy's make cupcakes."

I replied, "Most Mommy's know how to make edible food."

This silenced him.

Okay, I CAN make cupcakes. But not fancy ones like a lot of mothers do. I usually just buy the Betty Crocker frosting in a can and slather it on top of the cupcakes. If I'm feeling really festive, I toss sprinkles on top of that.

But some mothers, I've found, make their own frosting. And take the time to dye that frosting. And take the time to use one of those fancy frosting tips so that the cupcakes look like they were store bought.

I don't have fancy frosting tips. I don't see the point. If I want a fancy cupcake, I'll run out and buy it.

So yeah. We bought cupcakes at Wal-Mart.

Trust me, it was just safer that way.

So I drove Tommy to school and Tommy told each kid that we passed, "It's my birthday. I'm seven. Mommy didn't make these cupcakes, she bought them."

Thanks, son.

When we got to his classroom Tommy told his teacher matter-of-factly, "These are cupcakes. My Mommy didn't make them because she burns stuff."

The teacher found this amusing but tried to hide her smile in case I found it offensive.

Don't worry, I didn't.

I know I'm not the best cook. I've accepted this.

I tried to kiss Tommy goodbye before I left but he dodged my lips.

"MOM-ME," he shrieked, his eyes wide with shock. He looked like he was about two seconds away from hopping inside of his cubby or something.

"Oh. Sorry," I replied.

Apparently you can't kiss seven-year-olds at school anymore.

I keep forgetting.

I ended up blowing him a kiss, which Tommy pretended not to see.

Then I came home and pulled out the huge box that contained Tommy's new bike.

"Please put this together," I told Tom and plopped it in front of him.

He gave a long sigh. He knew that I had bought a bike but was not pleased that it came from a box.

"Amber," he said. "How many times have I told you NOT to buy a bike in a box?"

I pointed to the box. "But it says it's easy assembly."

Of course it really wasn't. Trouble started right away when Tom tried to screw the pedals on.

The problem was that they wouldn't go on.

So Tom screamed some choice words and shouted at me to get some wrench that I hadn't even heard of before. Then when I told him that I didn't know what he was talking about and could he at least draw me a picture or something, he exploded again.

Excuse me! I don't know tools. But ask me where the purses are at Target and I can tell you right away. The laundry detergent? Oh, just go straight back and you can't miss it.

He eventually got the pedals on. Apparently he was screwing them in in the wrong direction.

I tried not to laugh at that.

It just wouldn't have been the proper time.



I set the bike out for Tommy so he'd see it right when he came home from school.



Tommy's reaction to the bike.

"Holy sh*t!" he bellowed.

I had to pull him aside and explain that we don't use words like that. Even on our birthdays.



After apologizing for using a profanity, Tommy tried out his bike.

Soon after that, we went to Texas Roadhouse. Once again I offered to cook something for Tommy.

His response? "I'll take Texas Roadhouse. I know how you cook."

Hey, I can make a mean plate of spaghetti.

But a person can only have so much spaghetti.

I didn't mind though. I love Texas Roadhouse. They have the best rolls.



Here we are at the restaurant.

We all enjoyed the rolls. Mmm, carbs.



Tom was all, "You just love embarrassing me, don't you?" He couldn't believe that I brought the camera. Out in public.



Natalie got a little impatient so I dove into my secret weapon. My purse. And then I pulled out another secret weapon. My keys. Forget toys! Just hand your kid a bunch of keys. Or a cell phone. Which I gave to her next. She somehow managed to change my background which is something I didn't even know how to do.

Natalie just sits beside me in the booth. We learned early on that she refused to sit in the high chairs. Maybe they were beneath her, I don't know. But each time we'd put her in one she'd stand up and shout, "HI!" to the entire restaurant and then attempt to climb out. This made patrons nervous and we'd constantly hear shouts of, "She's making an escape for it!" "Look out!" Yes fellow resturant people. We can see.

After we ate, we came home and had cake.



Also made by good old Wally World. Tommy took awhile to figure out what cake he wanted. I let him flip through the cake book and he'd be all, "I want that one...no wait..THAT one...WOW a military cake! That one! WAIT! LOOK AT THIS ONE!" I thought he'd pass out from the excitement.



He blew out his candles.



And then opened more presents.




The dang Hot Wheels toy upset me to the point where I was about to hurl it out the window. I couldn't figure out how to put it together. It's really humbling when your seven-year-old can figure it out before you can.

I also did a birthday photo shoot with Tommy:



"What's with that expression, Tommy?" "I'm being a model," he answered.









He came up with all these poses. He explained, "It's what models do."





"This lollipop has a weird smell, Mommy."







Then he gave me this expression and I figured we were done.

Up On a Soapbox!

Here I am....up on a soapbox....I will probably get a nose bleed from being so high up....and you guys should know up front that I hate heights....but I have to do this. I am sad....very sad. I just had a fellow teacher come into my room, crying. She is a good teacher....and works hard with the kids. She has been teaching for almost 15 years and is a dedicated teacher....and at the end of this year...won't be hired back.....and that is so very very sad. She is not going to be hired back....because she is one of those teachers who fell between the cracks when No Child Left Behind hit the world of education. She has a teaching degree from an accredited university.....but when all was said and done....not enough hours to be a Highly Qualified teacher. So she had to take a test....called the Praxis. She has taken it now three times....the problem is that the Praxis tests on all areas of science and she only teaches Physical Science. She has missed passing the test each time by less than 10 points. Well...it is time to take the test again in a week....and if she fails it....she will be released from her contract. That is a travesty. We say we want good teachers teaching our children.....yet we are throwing a good one away...because she is struggling to pass a test. This teacher I am sure is not the only one.....there are a lot of us oldsters out there that this may apply to.....the difference here is that this teacher is my friend and I admire her tremendously and right now my heart is breaking for her. I am a member of our local state organization...AEA (Alabama Education Association)....she is not....but she still came to me to see if we could do something.....and I got all our people involved checking it out. There has never been a case where a teacher has challenged No Child Left Behind so no one knows what to do. I just know that this stinks out loud. Yes, I realize that she could have taken the test numerous times and possibly passed it but in her defense I too have test fright. I don't do well on standardized tests. Had I not had a Masters degree and taken the earlier versions of the teacher tests I too would be in her shoes. In the world of education there are many injustices and this is just another one in the pile. You definitely don't go into this profession for the money....I didn't. I had some kind of warped sense of wanting to save the world. I am one of those social worker teachers. LOL. And no matter what the little posters say....you don't go into this job for June, July, or August. Those are just months when we go to training for the job we have for the other nine months. Our school begins at the end of July with a week of teacher training and then the students arrive the first week in August. I usually spend two - three days a week during the summer in my room getting it ready....painting bookshelves, cleaning walls.....so that the kids can write on them during the school year. I had a parent tell me once that they thought I was way over paid for what little I did. I offered to trade jobs with her for a day.....or better yet...let her come and shadow me for a day.....she took me up on it. She is my biggest fan now. We, teachers, do not set out to Leave a Child Behind....something happens sometimes along the way....and it just happens. It is not always what has happened in school....a good bit of it deals with the baggage they bring to school with them each day......but whatever....a good teacher is going down....and I am sad.

Chemo Day 2

Good morning to all. Today is chemo day 2 and I am nervous once again about how my dad will feel. Both he and my Aunt Shirley took chemo on Tuesday of last week. My dad seemed fine all week. I actually even found some of his short term memory alive and kicking again. He remembered several things I never dreamed he would pull out....whoooo hoooo! Anyways, day two is dawning very bright, crisp, and cold. I made the decision to let my mom (Miss Antsy) take him and stay with him.....and then I will go out during my planning period for a while and relieve her. I learned last week that there is no need for two of us to just sit there. The nurses at the chemo dept. made me leave my cell phone number....they obviously know my mom. If this works then I can save some days out. I hate to miss school so much. It makes me feel like I am letting the kids down on their learning. Spanish substitutes in our system don't exist....so when I am out it is videos with worksheets or busy work. Sigh....wish me luck....hopefully today will go well.

Happy Birthday, Tommy

Dear Tommy,

Where to even begin? I suppose I can start off by saying that I cannot believe that you are seven years old. How did that happen? It seems like just the other day you were a tiny bundle in my arms and now you’re an energetic kid who loves Optimus Prime. (Or The Incredible Hulk. Or Spiderman. It really just depends on the day.)

We had a rocky start, you and me. I had you at nineteen, when I was just a baby myself, and I didn’t fully comprehend what it meant to be a mother. I mean, I had just stopped playing with Barbies only five years ago for goodness sake. Now, suddenly, I was supposed to take care of a human being. Sometimes I feel guilty that I had you when I was so young. Would you have still been speech delayed had I had you when I was in my late twenties? Would have you have still been diagnosed with ADHD? Was it something I did that made you have autistic tendencies?

Of course I know that the odds are likely that nothing would have changed if I had had you when I was older. But sometimes I can’t help but wonder. I only want the best for you, after all.

You are a great kid, Tommy. Don’t ever let anyone tell you otherwise. I know some of the kids have started making fun of you because of your awkwardness. I’m sorry son, but you get that from me. I apologize that you can’t kick a ball with as much force as the other boys your age. I’m sorry that it seems like you have two left feet. Please forgive me for the fact that you maybe catch two out of the five balls that are tossed at you. I’d like to promise that you’ll get better at these things as you get older. But the truth is, Tommy, is that I still manage to drop things to this very day. I may be the only adult that still spills her drink. My advice is to find a person who finds these things adorable. Or find someone who works in the restaurant industry and who is used to picking up spills.

I know you have an abundance of energy. Don’t ever let anyone tell you that it’s wrong. Yes, you need to learn to contain yourself when it’s time to be serious. It’s probably not a good time to leap up on your desk and do a jig in the middle of class, Tommy. Please don’t do that again. Yes, I found it amusing when the teacher phoned to tell me this but that’s because you came from me. Your teachers, unfortunately, will not be as amused so it’s just best that you remain in your seat and do as you are told.

I am always amazed at how you are able to put things together just by studying the instructions and practicing over and over again. Just the other day you figured out how to make a paper airplane by watching closely how your Daddy did it. Yes, it took you a few tries and yes, you may have screamed in frustration. But the point is, Tommy, that you figured it out. About a half hour later you bounded down the stairs with your airplane in your hand and you excitedly showed us how you put it together.

I am proud of you every day. I see the patience that you have with your little sister and yes, I know you sometimes get irritated when she tries to copy you. It’s just because she wants to be like her big brother. It’s a compliment, Tommy, and I can’t blame her. You are a wonderful kid with a passion for life, after all.

You are also learning to read. I remember how you used to struggle over the words and angrily throw a book down in frustration.

“I can’t do this. I can’t read!” you once screeched at me.

I simply picked the book up and placed it back into your hands. “You can read, Tommy. You just have to keep practicing,” I assured you.

And you did.



Today I watched you read your birthday card without even stumbling over the words. You read as though you had been reading for years. In fact, you didn’t even seem like it was a big deal when you set your card down. You looked a little surprised when I pressed my palm over your hand and pointed out that you read without even asking for help.

“I did do it!” you responded, your eyes bright with excitement.

“Didn’t I tell you?” I said. “Didn’t I always tell you that you could do it?”

Of course you didn’t respond. Because like a typical seven-year-old, you were already digging into your presents.

I love you, Tommy. I always will. Don’t you ever hesitate in asking me questions. Even if they may turn my face pink with embarrassment. I apologize for getting flustered when you asked me innocently how a woman’s egg turns into a baby.

I hope you have a wonderful birthday. And remember, Tommy, you can be whatever you want to be. Never ever let anyone tell you otherwise.

I love you forever and always,
Mommy


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I also made a video in honor of Tommy's birthday.

Make video montages at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Forgive Me?

My church is doing a series during Lent called," Through the Eyes of the Cross" and today was on forgiveness. If you read my blog from early this morning, then you know I had not slept a great deal and was so tired sitting there listening to the preacher talk…..yet, I could not seem to keep my mind off his topic….forgiveness. Jesus hung on a cross….a perfect person….and asked God to forgive the world…..so why is forgiveness such a hard thing for me?Well let’s talk first about what exactly this difficult word means. Forgiveness to me is, plain and simple, giving up my right to hurt you, for hurting me. I mean come on lets face it….it is absolutely impossible for us to live on this planet without getting hurt, offended, misunderstood, lied to, rejected, or all of the above. The most important lesson that we all need to learn is how to respond properly when it does happen to us.

All through my life I discovered this morning that I was not clear on what’s actually involved with the act of forgiveness. I learned today that forgiveness is not saying that things are hunky dory now, and then going back into an abusive situation. Just like it is not letting someone off the hook by saying, “You didn’t do anything wrong.” I had always been taught that forgiveness is, was, should be….unconditional love with no boundaries. It was that kind of forgiveness I could not handle….well it appears that that is not what forgiveness is about. I don’t have to deny to myself that the hurtful situation exists, and I don’t have to pretend that no one hurt my feelings, and I don’t have to stick my head in the ground and not see the existence of a hurtful situation. Whew…I felt a weight lifted off of my shoulders this morning. How cool is this information….and here I have been going around feeling like a bad person….because I could not pretend the situations were there…even when I had asked for forgiveness.

The Bible gives us a great deal of instruction when it comes to forgiveness but I guess the one that struck closest to home this morning was that we are to forgive….because we have been forgiven by God (Ephesians 4:32). Busted! I can’t expect people to forgive if I don’t forgive…and again….Jesus forgave me…on a cross…dying for stuff I had done….not him. Ouch. Could I do that…..I think not. As much as I wish I could stand here and sound like Super Christian Forgiver….I can’t!

Now…I also learned today….and not as a happy camper…that we are to forgive others to gain control of our lives from hurt emotions (Genesis 4:1-8). Ouch. Now there Kevin went and walked all over my toes. Actually, I believe he called me out in church. I felt myself blushing like a fog light on a light house. Then he slayed me with Hebrews 12:14-15 when he said, “we forgive so we won’t become bitter. I cut my eyes around to make sure everyone was not looking at me. I stayed in a mentally abusive relationship probably 22 years longer than I should have….because I thought it was what was right, what God expected of me, what everyone else expected of me….and became bitter at the end. I finally realized that if I did not leave….I was going to lose my mind. Everything I believed as a Christian was shattering…..so one day….I packed a few things up….and moved on…..the problem is….I just never could forgive him. I wanted him to change and come and get me….and when he didn’t….I was angry….and refused to forgive.

Today…at the altar of my church….I finally let it go. It was sweet release.You know, there are times we don’t feel like forgiving those who have wronged us. It is easier to just move on and pretend we have dealt with it. But are Christians people who have a non-forgiving nature? I certainly hope not! If you can’t or don’t forgive….you WILL become a very bitter person, and you know bitterness has been linked to stress-related illnesses. Is not forgiving worth your health? By forgiving others, we become free, both spiritually and emotionally. Hallelujiah. I could not sleep last night….and today I know why….God wanted me to be pliable….and ready to listen to His word….and listen I did. If you are reading this….and I have ever hurt you….please forgive me. If you are reading this and you have hurt someone else….ask for forgiveness. I promise you, you will feel a whole lot lighter. I am not saying this is easy....and that I have arrived. I certainly haven't. I made one small step today....I still have some giant strides to take....but after today I am willing to start walking!

Bless you all real good!

Six Things That Always Make Me Smile

Ok, it is 2:48 on Sunday morning and I cannot for the life of me sleep. With sleeplessness going on I decided to read some blogs I missed earlier in the day. I love to read My Last Shreds of Sanity. Today she did a blog on six things that always make me smile and the first one caught my attention. Sarcasm was her number one choice and I personally love it. So, in the weeest hours of Sunday morning. When I truly have nothing to smile about because I cannot sleep. I decided to come up with my six things. I hope you enjoy them.


1. My cousin Missi's husband Clay when he does his rendition of the Lollipop Guild from the Wizard of Oz. It makes me grin for hours.







2. The bow girls. I smile everytime I see pictures of the Jill and Kat with birthday package bows on their heads.







3. Sunset at Mallory Square in Key West, Florida is definitely a smile award winner. I can't think of many places more beautiful.










4. Young love.....that turns into mature love. My parents celebrate their 58th wedding anniversary in just a few days. I can't imagine spending 58 years with the same person.

5. Frank makes me smile everyday. Watching his sometimes crazy antics, watching him study, watching him period.

Last but certainly not least on the list of things that always make me smile would be.......

6. Blogs I Follow and That Follow Me. I smile everytime I see the number increases.

Ok...enough is enough. I will see you again later in the day I hope. It is now 3:09a.m., I have played Pogo, I have blogged, I have caught up on my blog reading, I have watched some CSI Miami and if I am going to be at church at 7:30, with a quick stop at the market for communion elements, I best call it a day. Happy Weekend!