Every Thursday I'll be posting about something that annoys me. Sometimes you might not agree with what I rant about but everyone is different. Venting helps.
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“We’re pregnant!”
“I’m sorry, but that’s not true. You as the female is pregnant. Your husband here just got the pleasure of it all but won’t have to go through nine months of being uncomfortable,” I answered sweetly.
Okay.
So I didn’t say that. I THOUGHT it.
It’s just a pet peeve of mine when couples say “we’re pregnant!” No, they aren’t hurting anyone when they say that. Actually, in a way, they are. They are hurting my mouth because I so want to say the paragraph up there.
Tom never said we’re pregnant. If he had, I’d have knocked him over the head. Then I would have gone into the following rant:
“We’re pregnant? WE’RE PREGNANT? NO WE ARE NOT PREGNANT. I AM! I don’t see you hanging over the toilet with all day sickness. I don’t see YOUR ankles swelling. I don’t see you craving beef jerky so much that it’s making you cry. I don’t see stretch marks on YOUR stomach. I don’t see your vagina widening so a human being can slide out of it. Thank you for supplying the seed that made the kid, but I AM THE PREGNANT ONE!”
So yes. I have to bite my tongue to refrain from saying something when a couple announces that they’re pregnant.
Or sit on my fingers so I don’t type anything snarky when they write it on Facebook/Twitter/blogs/etc…(Those are particularly hard for me. Especially when they make it long winded. ‘Haymitch and I have some wonderful news. The best ever! You won’t even believe it! We’re proud to announce that…WE'RE pregnant!’) (Notice that they usually capitalize WE'RE and bold it so I feel it's on overload of mocking me..)
Anyway, they can continue to say we’re pregnant all they want.
But me and my stretch marks know the truth.
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