Thursday, August 13, 2009

Just Say, "YES!"

YES! Absolutely Yes I say! I want it clearly understood: my response is a hearty,big voiced YES! I truly believe that deep down inside all of us there is a need to hear and even say that word....YES! I know for a fact that it is within me...and have discovered this week at school that many of my students feel that way too. Our Fly Fling (Freshmen dance...upperclassmen ask them) is coming up...and I have this one cute little guy....who asked me earlier in the week...if I knew any freshmen girls....well I told him..."my boy you are in luck today. I have a freshmen advisement...and I have the cutest girls in the freshman class in my advisement...who would you like to ask?" Today, he asked one...and she said, (I know the suspense is killing you...."YES!" He was thrilled...and so was she...because she got asked.

We need to hear the word, yes, spoken to us. When I was a sixteen year old, gawky girl in high school I wanted so badly for anyone to ask me to the junior-senior prom...It did not happen. I wanted to say yes....but never got the chance. All of my girlfriends went...but not me. I played the first year off by saying that I had a boyfriend from out of town and he did not want me to go. I played the second year off by saying that I had to work and could not get out of it. Actually, I did work the night of the senior prom...but I volunteered so that the girls who had prom dates could be off. High school left a pretty foul taste in my mouth...and all because of the failure to get to say....Yes!

Let me ask you if you've even been in a situation where you had to telephone a neighbor and ask them to do something major for you...you know like keep a child or drive you somewhere? You're initial reaction is that you are imposing on your neighbor...even to ask, and if you are at all like me you probably would hesitate before getting up enough courage to ask, but eventually you realize that there is no choice and you need someone's help and so you telephone your neighbor and ask them to do something for you. Your neighbor probably immediately replies, “Yes, I'd be delighted to.” It feels so good to hear that word said to you, "YES!" I love it. So many times we fail to allow someone to say that word to us because we have the negative response we think they are going to give us already programed in our heads.

My dad tells a great story about a guy who needed a jack because his tire was flat....he was out on a coutry road....and up the road he could see lights flickering in a window of a house. He began to walk towards the light...good movement...but...as he approached...he began playing out a different kind of scenario....it is a scenario in which the people in the house do not loan him their jack...the more he walks...the angrier he becomes...and by the time he reaches the door and knocks he is fully pissed off. His knock is answered by a sweet elderly gentleman who asks if he can be of help. The driver's response to the homeowner is, "I didn't need your damn jack anyways!" How sad...the homeowner was robbed saying Yes....by someone who let their thoughts go wild.

As human beings we need to speak that simple word to another person. When Frank and I are alone...sometimes he will quietly ask me, when nobody else is listening,: “Punkin (that is my nickname), Do you love me?” It makes me feel so good inside to be able to tell him, “Yes, of course I do. I love you more than breath.” I don't hesitate or garble my words. I say it where he can hear me...and I say it with feeling. I offer him no conditions...I don't say “Well, I love as much as is possible right now.” It truly does feel good inside to speak that word simply to him: "Yes!"

I can remember when my children were small and they would ask me to do something for...or with them....and I was cross-stitching, or smocking, or doing some other kind of French handsewing...you know the kind that is difficult to put down when you start it...but I would simply say, “Yes, I would love to.” This morning a fellow teacher came by my room and, even though my door was closed, opened it and asked, “Can you talk?" Never would I have said no....I, without hesitating said, "yes what is up?" It made me feel good inside to be able to say yes, with no hesitation or excuse.

I personally think the reason I like to hear that word and say it is because a lot of the people around me seem to hesitate before using it. When asked to do something...the air seems to be suffocating with a dramatic pause that says “not really.” Have you ever had family or friends come from out of town to visit and when they ask you what there is to do...you tell them all the things you think are wonderful about your town and the surrounding area....only to have them respond, “Is there something else we can do?” Talk about an enthusiasm buster! I love this area I live in...and I love showing it off. I want you to be impressed with it to...and when your response lacks pizzazz...it leaves me feeling like Eeyore.

When my first marriage was failing...I spent more and more of my time doing things with the kids...and at church. Ronnie spent all of his time gambling or fishing. I wonder sometimes...if I had said, "yes" to his requests to go to the casino's...would my marriage still be in tact? That is a question I cannot answer...but I do know this...saying "yes" to someone and sacrificing your own self is not what I am talking about. That is what martyrs are made of.

For a large number of people, there is always a “but.” They just cannot seem to say, “yes.” We all know them....they are the “yeah-buts” you know the people who hesitate and are the ones who are rarely willing to just say a simple, “yes.” There is always a condition to their response. Watch Out for this group!

I knew I had to tell you about the fly fling date experience...but When I was deciding exactly what I wanted to write about today I thought about something a friend said to me at the end of last year....she told me I had to learn to say, "No!" She is right to a point...I can overdo the, "yes," but what she does not understand is the joy that saying, "yes" gives me. In II Corinthians 1:18 - 22 Paul addresses saying the word yes...and Jesus. “As surely as God is faithful, our words to you have not been ‘yes’ or ‘no’ because the Son of God, Jesus Christ, was not a ‘yes’ or ‘no.’ In Jesus Christ, it is always Yes because the promises of God find their Yes in him. That is why we utter ‘Amen! Yes! So be it!’ In Jesus Christ, it is always yes.” I am delighted. My God is a Yes Man! I love it! He created everything...and I am sure he stood back and looked at it...and said a resounding, "YES!" Maybe He even followed it with a Marine cry, "Whooo Ya!"
No matter how lousy we have been....what we have done...where we come from...what baggage we drag around...when we fall on our knees and ask forgiveness...God says,"Yes." It is important for me to discover what it means to say Yes. It isbeen very important for me to learn to say yes to Frank, yes to myself, yes to my coworkers, yes to my family, and yes to God. I am not quite sure when or how it happened, but somewhere during my lifetime, I learned that saying Yes was ultimately important to the author of my life and destiny. God said, Yes to me. And there is a great need within me, to say Yes as well. Yes to God, yes to me, yes to my co-workers, family and friends, yes to this world where I live and work. I don't ever want to be a yeah-but kind of person. I want to be a Yes Man (or woman). I want you to hear me when I say it...and I want you to understand what I am saying. I am just going to say, "Yes!" I challenge you today to say, "yes" to someone...and allow them the opportunity to say yes to you. Happy Thursday All!

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