Shoes Glorious Shoes

“Amber,” Tom said, frowning. “I have a question.”

“Yes?” I replied. Maybe he was going to ask if I wanted to go to Panera Bread and get one of those flower sugar cookies that I love.

“Why does Natalie have so many shoes?” He was staring at the shoe organizer in confusion. He was holding 4 pairs of Natalie’s shoes.

“Because,” I said. “She’s a girl. And each shoe coordinates with a different outfit.”

Tom blinked at me in confusion. It was like I had responded in Swahili.

“But these are both black shoes. Why does she need two pairs of black shoes?” Tom asked.

“Oh, one pair are Mary Janes. Perfect for dresses. The others are ballet flats. More casual. You know?”

From the look on Tom’s face it was clear that he didn’t know. Not one bit.

“No more shoes, okay?” he finally said.

It’s probably best that he hasn’t seen her closet. Because…

Yeah.

Um.

In my defense, I got them all at Target when they were marked down to 70% off. It would have been a crime NOT to buy them for that price.

It’s also a good thing Tom didn’t notice there were shoes stored behind Natalie’s door.

Uh.

Also bought on sale at Target for 70% off.

They’re a mixture of sizes, by the way. One never knows when a child’s foot will grow. It’s best to be prepared, right?

Natalie has more shoes than Tom and I combined. I am missing the shoe gene for myself. I only wear two pairs of footwear: my black flip flops or my Sketcher Shape Ups that promise to tone my ass. That’s it. I mean, I do have heels shoved back in my closet that I rarely wear because I can’t walk in them properly. Plus, why spend life uncomfortable?

No, my shoe gene went to Natalie. I can’t get over how precious tiny girl shoes are.

You know, it could be worse.

I could buy a giant metal chicken named Beyonce like The Bloggess.

I think we’d be friends. We’re both passionate about our purchases.

She’d understand buying shoes for 70% off, I’m sure.