My View On Magic Mike

I know I probably should have been drooling into my popcorn or something.

But I didn’t.

In fact, I kept waiting for the moment when I was supposed to be like, “Oh, yum.”

I saw Magic Mike and honestly, I was more excited about the popcorn than the movie. There’s no doubt that the men in the film are attractive. They just aren’t my type. My type is John Krasinksi. Or Jason Segel.

My friend Angie enjoys having a pickle with her popcorn. I had to take a picture because this cracked me up considering the type of movie we were about to see:

I was surprised that there was an actual plot to the movie albeit a rather stupid one. The actress who plays the sister in the movie? Has no expression. Her tone barely changes.

Yes, there are dance moves. But here’s what bugs me. They take a new guy who can’t dance and suddenly, within 5 minutes, he can dance.

I can’t dance.

There’s no amount of teaching that can give me rhythm. So it irritates me when someone can suddenly bust a move, no problem.

The movie ends with no real finality. It’s just…over. You’re left thinking, “Uh? Is the new guy going to be okay? Will the actress who plays his sister ever be in another movie and if so, should I avoid it? How does Channing Tatum spin like that and not get dizzy?

And..

Yeah, I made another card.

But really, I feel like I need to wash my hands whenever I handle money now.

Would I ever watch it again? No.

Do I want to go to a male strip club? No. I would be mortified if I were pulled up on stage and dry humped. What if I farted or something?

Still, it’s a fun movie to watch with friends.

But really, wash your hands after you handle money.

Especially dollar bills.