Monday, November 2, 2009

On Chocolate Passion Body Powders

Look at this:



Doesn’t that just scream fun?

Eden Fantasys was kind enough to let me try a product and I picked that one. It's a site dedicated to a bunch of different adult toys. It also has lingerie. Maybe you can surprise your mate. Maybe that'll be a Christmas gift for Tom. I mean, I'd WEAR it obviously and Tom would just...enjoy I guess...I think anything other than the sweatpants I wear is a step up, you know..

Anyhow, what I picked is called Chocolate Passion Body Powder.

Of course I’d go for the chocolate.

The package from Eden Fantasys arrived discreetly.

You don’t have to worry about SEX TOYS being emblazoned on the side of the box in bold letters. I was always paranoid about that. My neighbors already think I’m crazy enough as it is and if they knew I ordered products like that, well, then they’d be all, “And not only does our neighbor sing bizarre songs to her kids to get them to smile for the camera, but she’s also some sort of nympho. Best not go outdoors in tiny clothes or else she might jump on you.”

The awesome thing about the Chocolate Passion Body Powder is that it comes with a card to explain different uses.



For instance, if I just want to smell like a giant chocolate bar, it tells me how I can do that.

But obviously I wanted to use it for other purposes.

So that night I said to Tom as he started to kiss me, “Okay.”

And he went, “Huh?” because he’s so used to me rejecting him. It’s not because he’s crap or anything like that, it’s just because, well, by the end of the night I’m usually exhausted. By then I’ve usually been screamed at, bitten, and told off—and that’s only from the cat.

Anyhow, Tom was surprised because he’s used to me slapping his hand away and mumbling no.

This time I said yes.

He almost seemed confused. “When you said yes, did you mean...”

“I meant YES, Tom!”

So he started kissing me again and then I said, “Wait. I have something!” and I pulled out the Chocolate Powder.

The card even explained how I could use it as an aphrodisiac.

One sentence says, “With a waving action, spread a light dusting of Chocolate Passion Powder in the air.” So I did this. Only I think I used too much because a splatter of it fell on Tom’s face.

“Jesus! What are you doing?” he shouted, rubbing it from his eyes.

“I’m making a light dusting of Chocolate Passion Powder!” I shouted as I waved the awesome pink feather in the air.

“You’re blinding me is what you’re doing!” Tom whined.

But he’s just a baby. Any other man would probably relish in the chocolate rain.

Then I started spreading some chocolate powder on Tom’s chest. I took a tentative lick and was impressed. The powder was delicious. Of course then I kept licking the powder and Tom was all, “Hello? Did you forget what you were doing? I’m starting to feel like I’m just a hunk of meat to you.”

Oh. Right. The stuff was so good that I nearly forgot that we were about to....

Needless to say, I soon remembered.

And the powder was a success in that area.

And Bonus! Afterwards our bed smelled like chocolate.

Guess what was else on the card thing?

Instructions on how to make a cup of hot chocolate.

I did just that and then got the giggles.

“What’s so funny?” Tom asked from the couch.

I lifted my cup. “I’m amused that we just used this stuff upstairs and now I’m drinking it.”

The hot chocolate was delicious too by the way.

So bottom line? The Chocolate Passion Body Powder rocks. It has so many uses so the $19.99 price is totally worth it.

Tom has even asked for the powder. He was all, “If you remember what you’re doing, we can bring the chocolate stuff. Just don’t slobber on me again.”

Awesome.

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