Man For Hire?

Stressed out?

Tired of cleaning?

Feel like you’re going to lose your mind if you pick up ONE MORE abandoned sock?

Well, have no fear!

Hire a dude to clean and organize for you.

No, seriously.

Look:



I mean, I know it says that it’s just to help you move. But I’m sure the guy would tidy up if you asked.

For a while I played around with calling the number and having a guy come over. Then I figured I’d call him John, after John Krasinski, but then I realized that he’d probably have his own name.

But then suppose I was talking to Tom on Skype and he happened to see John walk past with his tools. He’d lose his cool for sure, probably rip off his shirt and challenge John to a duel.

Oh wait. We’re in the year 2010 not 1610. So maybe no duel but Tom would definitely swear and threaten divorce if I didn’t get John out of his house and away from his tools.

“He’s just helping me clean and organize,” I’d insist. I would leave out the part about giving me something nice to look at. Not because John would have abs, but because he’d just be lean and basic looking. Men who are really buff actually make me nervous. I prefer the lanky ones who can make me laugh.

In the end, I knew it just wouldn’t work out. I couldn’t hire John.

It’s too bad. I had some chocolate and peanut butter cookies I could have made as a payment.

Ahh well. More cookies for me.