So last year it seemed like I couldn't find a Girl Scout anywhere.
I mean, save for the two that came to my door and sold me cookies, I wasn't able to find any.
So when my cookies ran out (gasp!) I had no where to go. I was going through Thin Mint withdrawals.
I would go to the local Wal-Mart and hope that I'd find a bunch of girls in those green vests selling the cookies.
But no.
So where were they? Where were all the Girl Scouts? This is what I asked my husband in a panic as I clutched the fabric of his shirt.
It was different this year.
This year Girl Scouts seemed to be on every corner over the weekend.
And okay, I admit it, it's hard for me to turn down their cookies.
So, on Saturday when we went to Wal-Mart, of course I had to buy two boxes of Thin Mints and one box of Tagalongs. I couldn't HELP it. The little girl who asked me to buy a box was adorable. She had a splash of freckles across her face and spoke with a lisp.
A LISP.
You'd have to have a heart of steel to resist a child with freckles and a lisp. Oh, and she had her hair up in pigtails too.
After Wal-Mart we had to run to Safeway. Because Safeway has this delicious deviled egg salad.
I love egg salad.
I could eat egg salad all day long.
"Please don't," my husband said warily when I told him this. "Because then I'd have to go into the garage and find my gas mask."
Anyhow, when we pulled up at Safeway, guess what we saw?
Yup.
More Girl Scouts. They were all clustered around a table that was covered with the delicious cookies.
"Okay," I said to Tom as he parked the truck. "Just tell them that we've already bought cookies."
So we walked up to the entrance and I tried not to make eye contact. I was so busy focusing on the automatic doors that I didn't even realize that a tiny Girl Scout had saddled up beside me.
"HI!" she chirped. "Wanna buy some Girl Scout cookies?" And I swear, she even batted her eyelashes at me.
Oh no.
"Um," I said. "It's just, we already---"
Then she looked all forlorn and even puffed out her lower lip.
"Sure. Yeah. I'll take two boxes," I found myself saying.
Her face brightened instantly.
I ended up with another box of Thin Mints. Because really, when you think about it, you can never have enough Thin Mints.
I also got a box of Caramel Delights.
"You're a sucker," Tom whispered in my ear.
I couldn't help it! I really couldn't. I didn't want to dash this little Girl Scout's dream. All she wanted to do was win was a bike. The top prize is a bike right? I wouldn't know. I never did Girl Scouts growing up. I think it was the uniforms that scared me off. Or the fact that they all seemed eager to go camping. The only thing I like about camping is the Smores. And then I'd like to go inside and sleep on my bed.
After Safeway we had to go to the BX. Tom needed something for his uniform. Something that he needed sewn on. No, I can't sew. I tried once and nearly sewed my fingers together. Wait, I did sew in home ec. I wasn't good then, either. I remember that we made letter pillows and my pillow looked deformed.
But guess who we found in the BX?
That's right.
MORE Girl Scouts.
"Okay, your turn to say no," I told Tom. "I obviously can't."
So we walked inside and a little girl looked like she was about to come up to me.
But what I did was pretend that I got a call on my cell phone. I placed it to my ear and said, "Yes Gustave?"
I have no idea why I said Gustave.
I don't even KNOW anyone named Gustave.
It was just the first name that popped into my mind.
Of course, the little girl didn't know that I didn't really know a Gustave.
So she retreated and then focused her attention to Tom.
"Would you like to buy some Girl Scout cookies?" She gave him a wide grin.
Tom, who can look quite scary when he wants to, gave a gruff no and kept walking.
"Aww. I've barely sold any cookies," we heard the little girl whine.
This caused Tom to stop in his tracks.
"No. Keep walking. You're doing so WELL," I whispered to Tom. And then I remembered that I still had my cell phone to my ear so I added, "That's FANTASTIC, Gustave!"
Tom looked troubled. "I can't keep walking. Did you hear her? She's barely sold any cookies." And then Tom turned on his heel and returned with two boxes of lemon chalets. Or whatever they're called.
But guess what happened when we left the BX? We saw that little Girl Scout trying to get a woman to buy a box of cookies. That woman said no and the little girl used the same line.
"Aww. I've barely sold any cookies!"
WHAAAA?
And that caused the woman to relent too!
The little Girl Scout minx! It was just a line.
I shot her a Look on our way out.
I'm onto you...you and your polyester vest..
The Girl Scout just tossed me sweet smile and wiggled her fingers at me.
You'd think I'd be Girl scout cookie-ed out, right?
But I'm not. I'm on Thin Mint box three.
Can I help it if the cookies are so good? It's really not my fault that I keep eating them.
And plus, Girl Scouts are everywhere this year. I'm just, you know, supporting them.
The calories really shouldn't even count. They really shouldn't.
There should be some way to be able to re-wire your body to not gain weight when you're eating something that you bought as a good deed.
Seriously.
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