It was the first time I had ever been to a dance recital. In person. I’ve seen recitals on TV. (Ahem, from a little scary show called Dance Moms..)
I’ve mentioned before that I have no idea how to do a proper bun. I tried very hard, but her hair kept coming out. If I were one of those Real Housewives, I’d probably have a hair stylist on hand so I could be like, “Um, Dayvon? Bun help?” As it is, I’m NOT a Real Housewife so I manage on my own.
At the dress rehearsal, some little girls showed up with spray glitter in her hair. Natalie practically humped their legs when she saw this.
“I just SO much want that glitter,” Natalie kept telling me. It was like she had noticed Channing Tatum for the first time.
At the dress rehearsal, I also got to see the other dances.
I do not get dancing.
Like, I know you’re supposed to show feeling and the like. But some dances were just weird. Maybe you don’t get it if you aren’t a dancer. Or an intellectual. But there was one dance where there was screaming and dancers sliding along the floor and I kept thinking, “Say what now?”
At the end of the recital all the kids had to wear a red shirt (that we had to pay for. $15. Dance is also VERY expensive I found out. For Natalie, I paid $37 a month. Plus a recital fee. I think that was $25. Plus $65 for her costume.)
At the dress rehearsal I also saw that those red t-shirts that we paid for were totally blinged out by those crafty parents. I kept Natalie’s plain, like we had purchased it. But some mothers had theirs cut up neatly, with rhinestones galore. It was almost like an episode of Toddlers and Tiaras. Was I supposed to bling hers up? I assumed everyone was keeping their t-shirts as is. But that’s not how dance moms roll. I guess.
When it came time for the actual recital, I put light makeup on Natalie. Nothing prostitot-ish. I had gone out and bought her some spray glitter because I felt bad that she did not have a mother who knew how to bling her stuff up.
I tried to get pictures but she was moody at first. Probably because I don’t know how to bling.
(Sorry.)
She eventually cheered up.
Now, the thing about this recital was, you couldn’t take pictures OR videos during. And I get it, the flash can be annoying. Still. They wanted you to pay $45 for a professional video.
I’m sorry.
But I paid $37 a month.
A recital fee.
A costume fee.
I paid for a non-blinged t-shirt.
I paid $10 just so I could SEE the recital. (Tickets were $5 each. Tom was there too. Natalie was shockingly free.)
I REFUSED to pay for a video.
At the recital I also noticed some parents were dressed up. I was in jeans and a t-shirt. Was I supposed to dress up? I do not get social rules.
So anyway, we watched other kids dance. And some kids were awesome. They were in multiple dances and all I could think was, “Their parents had to pay $65 per costume, FOUR times!”
Tom…well, he liked the dances, but it makes him uncomfortable when small girls are in tiny costumes with their stomach showing. He kept going, “Is this okay?” when a little girl came out with a bared stomach. It weirds him out even if it IS dance. He especially hates it when little kids gyrate.
When it came time for Natalie to dance I took her backstage. She wasn’t nervous at all. I sort of was. I pictured the scene in Parenthood (the movie) where the little kid runs on stage and destroys everything. What if Natalie did that? Her moods change instantly. Oh please don’t let her do anything weird on stage…
She didn’t. She did a great job. When it was over she was like, “I love being on stage!”
She didn’t go on again until the finale. I put her in her non-blinged shirt. She danced her butt off and even gave a wave when she danced off the stage.
Oh, and I forgot to mention, she even got an award for Star Dancer.
Natalie with her non-blinged shirt, flowers, and trophy.
I think this is the only time we’ll venture into the dance world. It’s just so expensive and I have no clue how to bling.
So for now, she’ll stick with tumbling.
If she begs down the line for another dance class, we’ll do it. But for now, I’ll say goodbye to the dance world.
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