No?
Well, I love The Melting Pot.
I especially love when I can go to The Melting Pot without my children present. It means I can relax and not have to admonish a child for staring at another patron. It means I can eat my food AS SOON AS IT ARRIVES and not have to worry about tending to someone else’s.
I got to go to The Melting Pot without children on Friday. I went with my friend Amanda. We left our kids with the husbands and took off.
Seriously. I took off. When it came time for Amanda to pick me up, I kissed my children goodbye and rushed on out of there. Natalie didn’t want to let me go at first. She gripped onto my leg and told me to stay. I was briefly touched (aww, she likes me, she really likes me!) but then I got irritated when she wouldn’t let go. I mean, she was behaving like I went out all the time. She made me feel like that scary ass mom in The Nanny Diaries.
“Er Tom?” I called out, because he was sitting in front of the computer playing his game.
“Tom?” I said again.
Nothing.
“TOM!”
He jumped and turned. “What?” He had the nerve to look irritated with me.
I pointed to Natalie, who was glued to my knee. “Your daughter. I need to go.”
Tom came over and picked Natalie up.
“I want Mommy,” Natalie said and reached her arms out to me.
Oh for—
Look, I’m not THAT entertaining.
She just totally wanted to get her way.
But she wasn’t going to get her way. Because I gave her a kiss and hightailed it out of there. I love her to bits, don’t get me wrong, but sometimes I feel like a caged animal who has finally been let free.
I highly recommend The Melting Pot. I do not recommend bringing little children there seeing as a burner is in the middle of your table. Granted, I have seen little children being brought in but I imagine that these are Good Children Who Know Not To Touch. I have curious children who would probably put their palms smack down on the burner just to see if it was as hot as I told them it was.
So yes. No kids when I go.
The first course is the cheese fondue. It’s amazing. I am a huge fan of cheese. The waiter or waitress prepares it all in front of you. This means that they have to be chatty because it would be awkward if they just stood there in silence stirring cheese. Amanda and I had a waiter who I wanted to call Hans even though I believe he said his name was Scott. He looked like a Hans though.
I wanted to hug Hans when he said that we both looked too young to have two children. Because lately I’ve been feeling old and gross and holy crap is that a new WRINKLE near my eye? And here comes Hans saying that I looked young. Granted, I bet Hans just wanted a nice tip so he figures calling women young does the trick. Oh well.
After the cheese course comes a delicious salad. Then the meat. You’re given a bunch of raw meat and you cook it in these scrumptious broth. I tried not to laugh when Hans laid down a large silver spoon and said that it was for floaters that escaped our pokers.
Yes, I wanted to giggle when he said floaters.
No, I didn’t because I’m twenty seven and shouldn’t be laughing at things like that anymore.
Okay, I did laugh after Hans left.
I couldn’t help it.
I’m only human.
The last bit is my favorite.
Want to guess what it is?
Yup.
The CHOCOLATE fondue.
If you sign up for The Melting Pot’s mailing list, you get a coupon for free chocolate fondue if you buy all the other courses we did.
By the time the chocolate fondue came around, I was full. But I’m never too full for chocolate.
I mean, how could you turn THIS down?
You get angel food cake, brownies, strawberries, bananas, cheesecake, and rice krispy treats to dip in it.
Plus if you get the chocolate fondue we got, the Yin and Yang, you could lie and tell yourself that it’s actually quite healthy since it includes dark chocolate and that you’re only helping your heart by ordering it.
At least that’s what I do.
Yes, The Melting Pot can be expensive. With the coupon, it came to $70. But if you split the costs, it’s not so bad.
And trust me when I say that it’s WORTH IT.
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