Math Is Confusing

It was like a completely different language.

Is ¼ of 12 greater than ¼ of 8?

Say WHAT?

I felt like Ozzy Osbourne had just rambled off a response to me and I was left going, “Er?”

I felt just like I did after watching Lost.

Completely and utterly baffled.

“So,” I said, pretending like I knew exactly what I was doing. I mean, it was fourth grade math. FOURTH GRADE. I shouldn’t be having issues with fourth grade stuff. “So ¼ of 12 is…um…what is it, Tommy? Greater than ¼ of 8?”

Tommy frowned. “I don’t know.”

“Aren’t kids with Aspergers supposed to be math geniuses?” I asked, throwing my hands in the air.

Tommy shook his head. “I’m a science genius. Sorry. I hate math.”

Well, ME TOO! He was supposed to be a math whiz and then I could sit back and go, “Oh man, I don’t know where he gets it, I’m awful at math but at least it means we don’t have to shell out money for a tutor. Ha ha.”

It turns out we WILL most likely have to shell out money for a tutor because if I was already lost with fourth grade stuff, I will be completely at a loss for anything beyond.

Tom isn’t much help either.

So I guess it’s no surprise that Tommy is not a math savant.

“What are we going to do?” Tommy wondered. “I have to turn this in tomorrow. Aren’t you an adult? Shouldn’t you know this?”

Er. Well. Probably.

“Aren’t you the kid? Shouldn’t you have learned this today?” I retorted. It had been YEARS since I discussed this kind of math. I won’t say how many or else I’ll cry.

“I learned it but I still don’t understand,” Tommy grumbled.

I chewed my lower lip and grabbed my phone. “I know. I’ll ask people on Facebook.”

So I did.

And I had a response within minutes.

(Thank you again to those who answered!)

The answer, by the way, is yes because ¼ of 12 is 3 and ¼ of 8 is 2.

“Ahh, the power of Facebook,” I said as I explained the answer to Tommy so he’d understand how to do it in the future.

“When can I get on Facebook?” Tommy wanted to know.

“13. Those are the Facebook rules. If you get one before that, you go to jail. Sorry. What can I say, that Mark Zuckerberg is a hard ass and, by the way, he needs to get rid of that annoying timeline.”

Tommy scowled. “But a lot of my friends have one and they aren’t in jail.”

“The police haven’t figured it out yet,” I lied. Clearly, no one goes to jail for violating rules. I’ve seen many a child under 13 on Facebook. So long as they don’t try and follow me, I figure the parents know what they are doing. But if a parent ever chastises an adult for writing adult items on Facebook for fear that their little Suzy will be traumatized my advice will be to KEEP THEM OFF FACEBOOK!

Anyway, the plus is, if I ever have a math question I can go to Facebook because lucky for me, I have friends who are competent in math.

I’ll need all the help I can get seeing as I had to Google how to do long division the other day and for the life of me, I don’t recall what in the world happens with fractions.

Hi, I’m Amber, and I don’t understand basic mathematics.