Dog Freak Out

We went to a BBQ at a guy’s house who Tom works with.

I was nervous.

I never know what to say or do at things like that. I mean, when I went to something like that before, someone said that they liked my perfume and I stupidly said something like, “Thanks. I got it from Glamour Magazine. I just rubbed it right on.”

Who SAYS things like that? Why couldn’t I have simply nodded and said thank you?

Basically I’m just an awkward awkward human being.

I decided to make some cupcakes to show that Tom was married to someone who was caring and who liked to cook.

Well.

That first part is true, anyway.

Plus, they weren’t fancy cupcakes. They were from Duncan Hines. Still. It’s something.

At the BBQ I stood against the wall while the guy’s dog kept coming up to me because it could sense that I was freaked out.

I’ve admitted this before and I’ll admit it again: I do not like big dogs. I think they have a hidden agenda to bite out my throat. Small dogs I can handle. Big dogs? Not so much. This was a big dog. It was a German Shepard and it had an evil glint in its eyes—which I later found out was glaucoma but still. I’d be minding my own business and it would come over and everyone seemed to stop and stare at me, waiting for me to pet it. Everyone else was happily petting and playing with the dog. I kept backing into the wall until I couldn’t move.

Plus, it’s always awkward when others catch on that you don’t like big dogs. They’ll either offer to put the dog away, which I feel guilty about. Or they’ll say, “Oh, you don’t like dogs?” and people will look at you as though you just started to recite the Gettysburg Address at the top of your lungs for no reason.

Anyway, it wasn’t so bad. I did talk a few times and managed to dodge the dog most of the time. (And yes, my husband has to work with a big dog but thankfully he doesn't take it home with him..)

The guy who had the BBQ had a daughter who immediately grabbed Natalie’s hand the second we walked in. She later asked if she could do Natalie’s makeup. I said yes because if I had said no, Natalie would have gone, “But why?” She’s a total girly girl.

About ten minutes later the girl came out and said she finished Natalie’s makeup and did I want to see?

“Sure,” I said.

Natalie came out and I tried not to cringe.

Because...

Well...

Yeah.

“She looks like a Kardashian!” I said, expecting someone else to laugh.

No one did.

Either they A) don’t know who the Kardashian’s are or B) like the Kardashian’s and did not appreciate the joke.

(But I’m sorry, the Kardashian’s do cake on a lot of makeup..)

“I’m so beautiful,” Natalie said. “So, so beautiful.”

Um. She might have REALLY high self esteem. Which yes, is a GOOD thing, but if she still says things like that when she’s older, she’s going to be shoved into lockers.

Or told off on Facebook.

“You look...lovely,” I said.

I didn’t want to offend the girl.

“I never want to take this off!” Natalie said wistfully, twirling around while the girl smiled up at me. “Can I do YOUR makeup?”

I said no.

Because...

Well...


Yeah.