Two Places At Once

Natalie’s teacher had sent home a letter early October stating that on the 28th, the parents ought to stay and help the kids with some pumpkin craft.

I admit, I was like, “Ugh, a craft?” Because I am not crafty. In the least. I imagined myself standing there while all the Perfect Mother’s effortlessly glued buttons and sprinkled on glitter like it was no big deal. And then there I’d be with a button accidentally glued to my cheek and glitter down my shirt.

But, obviously I was going to stay. I might hate crafts but I wasn’t about to let Natalie stand there all alone while everyone else had someone. So I said I’d be there and told Natalie, “Please don’t get upset if our project doesn’t turn out. It’s how much fun you’re having making it that counts. Not the outcome.”

Natalie was like, “I want it to be pretty.”

And I said, “Well. If not, we’ll cover the thing with sparkles.”

So yeah. I planned to be there.

But then two days ago Tommy comes home with a paper saying that he made the Teacher’s Honor Roll.

And that the ceremony was on the 28th

At 3.

The same time I’d be struggling at craft time with Natalie.

Tom couldn’t help. He had work. Unfortunately even though the Air Force is like, “Yeah, we’re family oriented!” they frown upon the only dog handler on shift going, “Can I see my kid get the Honor Roll?” Because suppose some crazy guy tries to come on the base with a bomb and Tom isn’t there to stop it?

*Le Sigh*

So it was just me.

I told Tommy, “I already promised your sister so I might not be there.”

He said it was fine but he looked sad and I immediately felt like crap and ate 3 Reeses Peanut Butter Cups to feel better.

Then I thought, “How can I be in two places at once?” I pictured an episode of Full House where Danny had to be at DJ and Stephanie’s thing and he ran from one school to the other. Granted, I don’t think it ended well. Didn’t he pass out and miss them both?

I’d probably pass out if I did that. They are in two separate schools, 10 minutes apart by CAR. I might be working out in the gym but I’m not THAT in shape. I wish I had Captain America’s powers. I watched it last night and after he got his injections he could suddenly run incredibly fast. If I had his powers, I COULD run from one school to the other with my buff chest and awesome circular shield. (Wait. There wouldn’t be a shield, would there?)

Anyway, I decided to tell Natalie’s teacher that we’d be leaving early. She seemed okay with it but I have a feeling Natalie will be miffed if we leave before finishing her pumpkin and this is more likely if I have to follow steps to make the thing. I’m awful with making ANYTHING. Even basic stuff. So I’ll probably leave with Natalie screaming in my arms while I say, “We have to get to your brother’s school. Pipe down!” and she’ll be all, “But my pumpkin IS NOT DONE YET and you wouldn’t buy me the SINGING RAPUNZEL DOLL!” Granted, that last part has nothing to do with anything but she’s been harboring anger over that one for quite some time even though I’ve explained if she behaves that Santa might bring it to her.

I haven’t promised Tommy that we’d be there just in case. I’d feel worse if I absolutely vowed that I’d be there and something happened. I told him I’d try very hard.

Wish me luck.

Have you ever had to be in two places at once?