Wednesday, October 12, 2011

My Dear Letters

I decided to write letters I wish I could send.

Basically, nothing else is going on so you get My Dear Letters. Have any to add? Let me hear about it!

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Dear People Who Litter While Driving,

Why? There are many trash cans all around that you can pull by and dump out your garbage. Littering the street as you’re driving is tacky. And not to mention rude. I wish the trash would bounce back up from the road and smack you in the face.

Signed,
A-Can’t-Stand-People-Who-Are-Rude,
Amber

PS--It also grosses me out when people spit from their car. What if your saliva blows onto my vehicle? Or worse, me?! Spit in the bathroom. Thanks.

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Dear School Fundraisers,

Please just go away. I get you need to raise money and I happily donate. But I won’t go door to door and sell cookies. Or useless crap. And parents who do the fundraisers take note: if I wouldn’t buy from my own kid, why would I buy from yours? (Although I did buy some cookies from some kid last month. I only have so much willpower..but overpriced candles? Calenders with bizarre shapes all over them? No more.)

Signed,
A-Don’t-Want-More-Crap,
Amber

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Dear Blu Ray DVD Player,

Why didn’t I buy you earlier? I never knew how clear movies could be until we got you. I can see people’s PORES! Which is slightly disturbing, yet cool at the same time.

Signed,
A-Still-Marveling,
Amber

PS--Best Buy matches Amazon.com prices. Amazon had a fabulous price on a Panasonic Blu Ray and we got it for that price.

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Dear People Who Block The Grocery Store Aisles With Their Carts,

I’ve written you before and yet you’re still not moving. If you must stop, you push your cart off to the SIDE so people can pass. You do NOT leave your cart in the middle of an aisle and then stare intently at the soups. And then if someone says excuse me, you don’t give THEM dirty looks and act as though moving your cart is the hardest job in the world.

Signed,
A-Thinks-There-Should-Be-A-How-To-Grocery-Shop-101-Class,
Amber

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Dear Netflix,

Or is it Qwikster? No wait, it’s back to Netflix, right? You’re about as indecisive as George Clooney is with his women. I'll continue to use you (my Blu Ray streams Netflix! Actually, so does our Wii which we've had for years..I'm just learning how to do all this stuff now...) but stop charging more for Blu Ray movies. It's annoying.

Signed,
A-Not-Liking-Change,
Amber

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