Parent Information Night

Just an FYI: The new show The Mentalist is really good.

I caught it last night and enjoyed it.

Anyhow I keep forgetting to write about Parent Information Night at the school last week.

I decided to go even though Tom worked. Of course. He never seems to be off on the nights that I really need him.

So we drove to the school and when we walked in both the Girl Scouts and Cub Scouts were set up recruiting new members. I held my breath as Tommy walked past.

Please don't be interested...

I mean I think Cub Scouts are a good thing but it would mean I'd have to CONVERSE with other people on a weekly basis and SELL crap. No thank you.

I have always said that if Tommy wanted to join that I'd let him.

But thankfully he's not interested.

Phew.

There was a room set up to drop off the children so the parents could sit through the assembly in peace.

I thought it was just for children three and up but when I entered two of the volunteers to watch the kids came up and held out their arms for Natalie.

"Oh," I said, startled. "I thought this was just for older kids?"

"We'll take the baby. She's so cute!" one of the women said. Her arms were still outstretched. Natalie dug her fingernails into my shoulder and looked away.

I'm not going with you, Crazy Stranger Lady!

"Well," I said in what I hoped was a polite tone. "I don't think she's going to let me leave her."

I tried to set her down but she had such a grip on my shirt that I felt if I pushed it, she'd expose my ugly nursing bra to the entire room. So I put her back on my hip.

At that moment another woman with a baby around Natalie's age walked in. She just easily set the baby down, the baby toddled over to a bunch of blocks, the woman said thank you and left.

And the baby didn't even CARE! She just continued playing with the blocks.

Maybe she was a daycare baby? I dunno.

I pointed that baby out to Natalie. SHE didn't have to know that she was a daycare baby and was used to being without her mother.

"Look Natalie? Another baby. She's playing with blocks. Do you want to play with blocks?"

Natalie actually looked mildly interested. In fact she allowed me to set her down. Though she held onto my fingers to the point where I felt like she'd cut off circulation. Then she all of a sudden got brave, ran up to the other baby, whispered HI and then ran back to me. She gripped onto my leg roughly.

"Natalie doesn't like you," Tommy told the volunteers seriously. "She's gonna cry if Mommy goes."

I shot Tommy a Look. "Tommy," I chastised. "She likes them fine. She's just not used to Mommy leaving."

"She's gonna CRY," Tommy repeated knowingly.

I tried to walk but couldn't because Natalie seemed to be permanently attached to my leg.

"Um," I said. "I think I'll just take her with me."

I started to turn and head for the door with her still holding on for dear life.

But she let me go and ran up to a teenage volunteer who was helping the adults with all the kids.

"Hi," Natalie said boldly and then went off to explore the room.

"I think you're safe," one of the adult volunteers whispered. "Go ahead. If she cries we'll come get you."

I nodded and rushed out. I waited by the door for a few seconds to make sure I didn't hear Natalie's cries.

I didn't.

However there was a Mom who tried to drop off her little boy who looked to be about three and he wasn't having it.

"I WON'T go in this room. I WON'T. AND YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!"

Sheesh.

Needless to say, that little boy went to the assembly with his mother.

I decided that I ought to head down to find a seat. I sat down by the door in case they came in with Natalie.

A few kids did have to be returned to their parents. One little boy was crying so hard that he seemed to be struggling to breathe.

"I. Want. My. Mooommm...Moooooooommmmeeeeeee!"

Basically the assembly went over what the school expected from the parents and what the parents could expect from the school.

The principal was giving the speech and she was talking about how the children needed to learn respect. She had a little slide show going nad when a picture of a toilet popped up on the screen I let out a snort of laughter.

"The children need to learn respect in the bathrooms as well. We sometimes have kids that like to peak under the stalls and that just won't be tolerated," the principal said.

I giggle escaped my lips. I pictured tiny students squatting down and looking up under the stall going, "Hello? Are you making a number one or a number two.."

For some reason I found this hilarious and had to cover my mouth to keep from laughing even louder.

Yes folks, I am 26.

But apparently potty talk still amuses me.

Then the principal talked about joining the PTO.

No thank you.

Just...

No thank you.

I know some people are all, "Aww why not join?"

Uh. Because I know it can turn into a big drama fest with grown adults whining over tiny things and I don't have the patience for it. I deal with a husband and two kids at home and that's quite enough drama for me.

After the assembly was over we were told to head to our child's classroom to learn about what the teachers expected from us.

I walked past the childcare room and Natalie was in the teenager's arms staring right out while sucking her thumb.

So she saw me and immediately outstretched her arms.

So I had to get her.

I asked Tommy if he wanted to come or stay and he said he wanted to come.

So down to his classroom we went. He found his seat and showed me his pencil box with all his stuff inside.

"These are my crayons. My pencils. My eraser," he said seriously.

"They're awesome," I said, feigning like I had never seen them before in my life. (Even though it was me who purchased all of those items. But whatevs.)

The teacher started talking about homework and tests and things like that. I was somewhat distracted because Natalie did not want to sit on my lap. She kept struggling to break free so she could explore the room. I mean in all fairness, it was an appealing room for a small child. It was brightly lit with cute little decals on the wall and interesting books in the corner.

I started digging in my purse while the teacher explained that homework was due on Thursday.

"Here. Mommy's phone," I hissed at Natalie, placing the cell phone in her palm.

She opened it and pressed buttons. "A cat? A CAT?" she said loudly, pointing to my display picture.

"Shhh. Yes a cat," I said softly, hoping she'd take notice of my QUIET voice and follow suit.

Then she got bored of the phone and tried to break away.

"Here. Mommy's keys," I hissed and handed them to her.

She found the DisneyWorld keychain and stared at the castle.

"What IS that? What IS that?" she said.

"A castle," I whispered.

Then she got bored of the keys and I had to find something else.

"Here. A coupon. Fifty cents off Tide. Don't lose that. Mommy needs it," I said, passing it over.

Natalie flipped the paper around her fingers. But then grew bored of that and tried to break free. Again.

*Le sigh*

Thankfully the teacher was finished at that point so we could go. I did ask the teacher if Tommy had been doing well.

And he is!

No crying.

Phew.

When that was over we stopped in the Book Fair. The plan was to get two books. One on Transformers and one on plants.

Well that changed.

We ended up with these:



Natalie picked out that pink book. Seriously. I was looking at another book and she reached out and grabbed it and would not let go.

And then when that was over we went home.

You know that Monster Truck book? You had to put together this Monster Truck and it was a PAIN in my ASS. I nearly threw it across the room. Sometimes boy toys seriously upset me.