Here’s the thing, sweetheart.
You cried.
A lot.
I don’t think you liked me very much in the beginning.
Our relationship back then could be summed up with these pictures:
First you’d be all, “WTF? I’m entrusting my life to THIS woman?”
Then you’d be all, “I don’t think I like this. I demand a replacement.”
Then you’d cry. For like an hour.
Then you’d resemble a pissed off old lady. You thought again, “I’m entrusting my life to THIS woman? Where is the damned replacement?”
And the whole thing would start all over again when you realized that there would be no replacement.
I tried my best! You’re lucky that you were my second child. You’d have been incredibly ticked off had you been my first. Your poor brother had a mother who had no idea what she was doing. You at least had an experienced parent.
At least I thought I was experienced.
Then you came along and WOULDN’T STOP CRYING and I started to fear that I had no idea what I was doing all over again.
You cried.
And you cried.
And oh yeah, YOU CRIED.
I think I know what upset you so much. It was the fact that I sang to you, wasn’t it? Because when I sang to you when you turned one, you covered my mouth and went, “Shhhh.” You do that even now. Were you crying because that was your way of saying, “Jesus woman, could you SHUT your yapper? You are NOT the next American Idol.”
It also could be that I was always putting stuff on your head. I couldn’t help it, Natalie! I had a boy first, I couldn’t decorate his head. Then you came along and I was all, “Yay, hair pretties!”
Apparently you didn’t like the hair pretties.
At around six months, you cheered up. I think it’s because you realized that I was the best you were going to get.
Sure, you still had an attitude. At a year old you informed me that you were mad. You followed this up by, “No.” Soon it was, “No this,” and “no that.” No, no, no.
You keep things interesting though. You give me a lot of write about in my blog and for that I am appreciative.
I cannot believe that you are three.
I cannot believe you enjoy watching a creepy show called Yo Gabba Gabba. One of the characters looks like a diseased male appendage, darling. And should I be concerned that he is your favorite?
Thank you so much for allowing me to dress you up.
Thank you so much for keeping me on my toes.
I wouldn’t change anything for the world.
Happy Third Birthday, Natalie Elizabeth!
Love,
The one you love to torture the most
PS. I’m sorry, but you probably won’t be able to date. Ever. Blame your father.
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I made a video of Natalie and the outfits that I put her in. It is just for fun. The song is "Material Girl" and I usually always get a note saying that material things aren't important, blah blah blah. I GET that. It's just for FUN.
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