Please Let Flying Be Okay

I’m flying on an airplane tomorrow, headed for Disney World.

I have plane anxiety. I worry there will be a problem and we’ll all go crashing to an island, like on Lost. Or worse.

I worry we’ll have plane delays and we won’t make our connection at New Orleans. We have 2 hours to make it if our first plane is on time. Please, PLEASE let it be on time. Also, what if there is a mechanical problem and we’re stuck on the tarmac with no air conditioning? I saw a recent video someone posted of this happening. The passengers made light of the situation and started to sing. I would not sing. I’d flip out and screech that I’m an American citizen with rights and that I demand to be let off the plane at once. I do not deal well being in an enclosed space for hours on end.

I panic that Natalie will get bored and annoy other passengers. She doesn’t cry but she does tend to talk LOUDLY and she likes to sing. Not everyone thinks little kids are cute so I hush her. She’s insulted when I do this. “I was SINGING!” she’ll say, all indignant. It’s okay, fellow plane passengers. I bought Natalie 2 new DVDs, new books, and new toys. She’ll be distracted. She won’t sing. (Unless you ask.)

I’m worried how it’ll go without Tom to help. I’ve flown with the kids on my own before. It went…okay. Tommy is always fine. It’s Natalie I have to keep entertained. It’s Natalie I have to keep from shouting, “Why does that fat man have two seats and I only get one?” She does NOT misbehave when Tom is around. She wants to please Tom. She wants to keep Tom happy. She does not care if I’m displeased. She does not care if I’m not happy. Air Force, PLEASE, can I borrow my husband for a week? You can have him back after the trip. Please? No? Damn.


Please have good airplane vibes for us.


**While I'm gone, I might not be online as much. I will update my Twitter account. I also have an Instagram account under WhisperingWriter if you wanted to see Disney pictures**